老哥是個(gè)接線(xiàn)員，陪老奶奶聊一天
Anon works
譯文簡(jiǎn)介
老奶奶都很孤單，需要有個(gè)人陪伴
正文翻譯
>我
>工作是電話(huà)銷(xiāo)售員
>95%的來(lái)電都是老頭老太太
>根本沒(méi)人從我這買(mǎi)東西
>按通話(huà)時(shí)長(zhǎng)結(jié)工資
>打電話(huà)的老年人都很孤單，只是想找個(gè)人嘮嗑
>干我這個(gè)工作的人基本上都是和老年人每天嘮12個(gè)小時(shí)的嗑
>甚至有經(jīng)常打電話(huà)過(guò)來(lái)的人知道我們每個(gè)人的名字
>本來(lái)應(yīng)該給他們打廣告賣(mài)產(chǎn)品的，但實(shí)際上只是每天聽(tīng)勞倫奶奶說(shuō)8個(gè)小時(shí)她以前的日子
>她有時(shí)候會(huì)忘了自己說(shuō)過(guò)什么，就把同樣的事情重復(fù)十遍二十遍。
>我的工作基本上就是在勞倫奶奶停頓的時(shí)候捧一句“有意思，接著說(shuō)”
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I go out of my way to talk to old Marines if I see them alone at the bar or park. Just sit next to them and ask them about life. It's so interesting to hear their advice and answer their questions about what the current day military is like. It always surprises me how huge the generation gap is.
假如我在酒吧或者公園里看見(jiàn)一個(gè)人坐著的老海兵的話(huà)，我會(huì)繞個(gè)路過(guò)去跟他們聊幾句。就坐到他們身邊問(wèn)問(wèn)他們過(guò)得怎么樣。聽(tīng)聽(tīng)他們的建議，以及回答他們今天的軍隊(duì)是什么樣子的，這些總是讓我感到有趣。并且讓我驚訝于現(xiàn)在的代溝已經(jīng)有多大了。
老哥們，假如你們讀到了我的帖子，在公園長(zhǎng)椅上遇見(jiàn)了一個(gè)人坐著的老人，不管你在哪兒，請(qǐng)坐到他們旁邊，跟他們隨便聊聊。你一定會(huì)驚訝于他們能傳授給你多少生活智慧的。
I have spoken to one man I recall being a marine and he yelled at me about how I never switched gears on my bike and tried to race me
我很久以前跟一個(gè)我記得是海軍陸戰(zhàn)隊(duì)的人聊過(guò)，他因?yàn)槲因T自行車(chē)不換擋沖我喊，并且想要跟我比誰(shuí)騎得快
Your fault for never switching the gears on your bike bro
那確實(shí)得怪你騎自行車(chē)從來(lái)不換擋啊哥們
I talked to this old marine one time in a sauna. He told me and my buddies about the time he was in a Vietnamese town and actually found an ice-cream stand. He hadn’t had any in months so he promptly buys a cone, sits down, and manages to get one lick in before a monkey ran up and stole it. He was so pissed that he shot the monkey right there in the street and the locals were very upset because they love their monkeys. He had to leave quickly.
我有一次洗桑拿的時(shí)候和某個(gè)老兵聊過(guò)天。他跟我還有我的好朋友們講起了他在越南某個(gè)小城鎮(zhèn)的故事，他竟然在那找到了一個(gè)冰淇淋攤。他已經(jīng)好幾個(gè)月沒(méi)吃過(guò)冰淇淋了，于是他買(mǎi)了一筒，坐下來(lái)，還沒(méi)等舔第一口，一只猴子就跑過(guò)來(lái)把冰淇淋偷走了。他氣得當(dāng)街開(kāi)槍把那只猴子打死了，而當(dāng)?shù)厝艘沧兊檬謶嵟驗(yàn)樗麄兿矚g他們的猴子。他就只好趕緊跑。
I sat down next to one, they looked at me all weird and then promptly got up and walked away
我坐到老人旁邊的時(shí)候，他們都用那種詭異的眼神看著我，然后站起來(lái)走了。
That's what I would expect honestly.
其實(shí)我預(yù)料的情境就是這樣。
假如你想通過(guò)跟老人聊天來(lái)改善他們的境況，我建議你去養(yǎng)老院當(dāng)義工。那些想走的會(huì)告訴你，不想走的就不會(huì)走。
Yup, not everyone who is alone is lonely
沒(méi)錯(cuò)，不是每個(gè)獨(dú)處的人都是孤獨(dú)的。
Old men in hats just talk at me without any prompting. It's fun, I get free stories. Especially the Navy guys.
那些帶著帽子的老人們會(huì)沒(méi)有任何預(yù)兆地跟我聊天。很有趣，我能免費(fèi)聽(tīng)故事。尤其是那些在海軍待過(guò)的。
The other day it was like 7 degrees out which is warm for Canada this time of year, so my boyfriend and I decided to go have a drink in the sun on the church steps since it's closed.
那天差不多7度，在加拿大這個(gè)時(shí)候算是挺暖和的了，所以我和我男朋友決定在教堂門(mén)口的臺(tái)階上曬曬太陽(yáng)喝杯酒，因?yàn)榻烫藐P(guān)門(mén)了。
我們臉上都有刺青，可能看起來(lái)有點(diǎn)嚇人但我們都是挺好的人，并且我們只是在一邊放松一邊喝酒吸電子煙。然后有個(gè)特別老的老太太走過(guò)來(lái)，用很重的口音說(shuō)“看你又抽又喝的，那會(huì)害死你的，你不應(yīng)該這么做”。她說(shuō)完就走開(kāi)了，但我當(dāng)時(shí)心情很好，所以我對(duì)她說(shuō)“事實(shí)上電子煙的害處沒(méi)有吸煙重，并且我們也不常飲酒，只是今天曬曬太陽(yáng)”。
她把這句話(huà)當(dāng)做了來(lái)閑聊的邀請(qǐng)，于是沒(méi)過(guò)幾分鐘她就開(kāi)始跟我們講她的人生，還會(huì)從包里拿出來(lái)仔細(xì)塑封好的照片。她今年已經(jīng)86歲了，和她的兩個(gè)姐妹、三個(gè)兄弟在斯洛伐克長(zhǎng)大。酗酒和吸煙讓她的兄弟和丈夫去世了（雖然她丈夫是個(gè)人渣，我們一點(diǎn)也不喜歡他，但她很懷念她兄弟），所以她既不喝酒也不抽煙，所以她看起來(lái)總是像1930年而不是1935年出生的，正如總有人告訴她的那樣。
而且她當(dāng)年真的是絕世美人。模特級(jí)別的漂亮。她的故事也很有趣。在她發(fā)現(xiàn)我男朋友有羅馬尼亞血統(tǒng)之后馬上就喜歡上了他，一直跟我說(shuō)“要跟我的羅馬尼亞帥小伙好好過(guò)日子”。跟我說(shuō)我長(zhǎng)得很漂亮，但最好把那塊鐵疙瘩（鼻環(huán)）從臉上拿下去。
聊完了天，她給了我們她家的地址，她讓我們叫她“斯塔拉巴巴”（拼寫(xiě)可能不太對(duì)，但她說(shuō)意思是老奶奶），離開(kāi)的時(shí)候一邊揮手一邊說(shuō)“我愛(ài)你們，孩子們”。
半小時(shí)之后我的男朋友去賣(mài)酒的商店打算再買(mǎi)幾罐啤酒，結(jié)果在店里遇上的不是別人，正是剛才那個(gè)“巴巴”，她正要買(mǎi)一大瓶伏特加。
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她這個(gè)人酷得要命，所以我喜歡在夏天去外頭喝酒，因?yàn)槟銜?huì)遇見(jiàn)好多有趣的人?，F(xiàn)在我打算找一個(gè)斯洛伐克的菜譜給她做一份帶到她家里去，并且我也可以安撫一下她買(mǎi)酒的時(shí)候被抓了個(gè)現(xiàn)行的尷尬。
和老人聊天真的很有趣。他們見(jiàn)過(guò)太多了，很有趣。假如你有機(jī)會(huì)和一個(gè)年長(zhǎng)的人聊聊，一定要抓住。尤其是你的祖父母。我保證他們一定愿意給你講講你的人生的。
I love talking to vet. Its basically a gamble between crazy and sage advice (often in the same person)
我喜歡和老兵聊天?；旧暇褪窃诏偪竦暮陀幸娴慕ㄗh之間賭博（而且經(jīng)常出自同一個(gè)人之口）
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This used to be cool to do but now 1 in 2 old people will spew racist Qanon shit.
以前這么做還挺酷的，但現(xiàn)在兩個(gè)老人里就有一個(gè)滿(mǎn)嘴匿名者Q的胡話(huà)。
If they are actually interested in talking, go ahead. The ones I meet usually prefer to be left alone and I respect that, no point trying to have a conversation if majority of the replies are one word answers
假如他們真的對(duì)聊天感興趣，那再繼續(xù)。我遇見(jiàn)的那些人基本上都更喜歡一個(gè)人待一會(huì)兒，并且我也尊敬他們的選擇。假如他們嘴里蹦出來(lái)的都是一個(gè)字的話(huà)，就沒(méi)必要繼續(xù)對(duì)話(huà)了。
I work at a bank and get tons of vets, they really have the best stories and Ive picked up tons of great advice from them
我在銀行工作，每天都能遇到很多老兵，他們真的有最棒的故事，并且我從他們那里聽(tīng)到過(guò)大量好的人生建議。
Always fun to hear about how the blacks are ruining society
聽(tīng)他們說(shuō)黑人毀掉整個(gè)社會(huì)總是很有趣
Sounds like you only listen to those already yelling nonsense. Most elderly Marines served with people of all ethnicities and will have nothing negative to say about [insert race here]. Thing about the military is we fight alongside our brothers and sisters and become family.
聽(tīng)起來(lái)你只會(huì)聽(tīng)那些滿(mǎn)嘴胡話(huà)的人。上了年紀(jì)的老兵們?yōu)楦鱾€(gè)種族的人服務(wù)過(guò)，并且他們對(duì)于任何種族都不會(huì)有什么負(fù)面的話(huà)要說(shuō)。軍隊(duì)生活就是與兄弟姐妹并肩作戰(zhàn)，最終成為家人的過(guò)程。
或許你應(yīng)該與一個(gè)真正的老兵對(duì)話(huà)，而不是讀那些瘋子們?cè)谀槙?shū)上發(fā)的胡話(huà)。
Talking to strangers in USA:
在美國(guó)和陌生人聊天：
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哦你好，噢我當(dāng)然太愿意和您聊天了，您今天怎么樣，工作壓力大嗎，您成家了嗎？
在荷比盧地區(qū)和陌生人聊天：
離我遠(yuǎn)點(diǎn)，不然我報(bào)警了！
Best way to start the convo is just pretend to speak to the air, saying something like "ah, it looks like it's beginning to rain" and when the old person says "what do you mean? It's not raining", you say "yes it is..."
開(kāi)始一場(chǎng)對(duì)話(huà)的最好方式就是假裝對(duì)著空氣說(shuō)話(huà)，比如說(shuō)“啊，看起來(lái)要下雨了”，然后當(dāng)老人說(shuō)“你什么意思？不可能下雨”，你再接一句“就是要下雨了……”
但真的，我覺(jué)得最好的方式其實(shí)是尋求幫助。比如“嘿，我能拜托您一件事嗎？您能幫我打一下領(lǐng)帶嗎？我好像總是打錯(cuò)，一會(huì)兒我還要約會(huì)，我覺(jué)得您看起來(lái)是可以在約會(huì)上給我點(diǎn)好建議的人”
When I worked at the local hardware store in highschool we had tons of old people come in and I would essentially be their personal shopper and take them around the store to get what they needed, help them lift heavy things and just chat with them. It was probably one of my favorite parts of the job. I remember one guy who was an old Navy Boxer from like WW2 or Korea (sometime around there). He showed me pictures of him in the Navy and I think he said he was a golden gloves boxer (or trained one of the winners) after the service and mentioned he trained some really famous boxers back in the 70s or something at this big old Detroit gym.
我高中在當(dāng)?shù)氐奈褰鸬旯ぷ鞯臅r(shí)候，有好多老年人過(guò)來(lái)，我基本上就是他們的個(gè)人導(dǎo)購(gòu)員，帶他們?cè)诘昀锏教庌D(zhuǎn)轉(zhuǎn)，幫他們找到要買(mǎi)的東西，給他們提重物，跟他們聊聊天。這算是我對(duì)這份工作最喜歡的地方了。我記得有個(gè)打過(guò)二戰(zhàn)還是朝鮮戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)的海軍老拳擊手。他給我看了他在海軍里的照片，我記得他說(shuō)自己退役之后是金手套級(jí)別的拳擊手（要不然就是訓(xùn)練過(guò)贏(yíng)了金手套的拳擊手），并且70年代在底特律這個(gè)老體育館里訓(xùn)練過(guò)很多非常有名的拳擊手。
I had an old vet tell me that the Jews controlled George Washington and all of the founding fathers. He said that it was literally written in the constitution.
我遇見(jiàn)過(guò)一個(gè)老兵跟我說(shuō)猶太人控制了喬治華盛頓和所有的國(guó)父。他說(shuō)這都寫(xiě)在憲法里了。
Talking to lonely old people is a way to improve language skills. There a subreddit about this subject, I can't remember the name.
與孤獨(dú)的老年人交流可以提升語(yǔ)言技巧。reddit有個(gè)版專(zhuān)門(mén)討論這個(gè)話(huà)題，我想不起來(lái)是什么了。
"get paid per time spent in calls" lM lies
“按通話(huà)時(shí)長(zhǎng)結(jié)算薪酬”笑死我了編的吧
I know right! There's not a single call center that works like that. They want you to spend less time on each call so you take more calls during your shift.
可不是嗎！根本沒(méi)有哪個(gè)呼叫中心是這么干的。他們想要讓你在每個(gè)電話(huà)上花的時(shí)間越少越好，這樣你就可以每個(gè)班接更多的電話(huà)了。
"your job is to get these old lonely fucking twats off the phone as fast as possible"
“你的工作就是讓那些又老又沒(méi)人陪的老太太們?cè)娇鞉祀娫?huà)越好”
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逐字逐句地復(fù)述我現(xiàn)在的經(jīng)理說(shuō)過(guò)的話(huà)
我在新冠疫情之前是網(wǎng)絡(luò)技術(shù)人員，現(xiàn)在我在呼叫中心工作了六個(gè)月了。
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Joining the call center during the pandemic has been the worst. They aren’t properly training people and give zero shits, hopefully they aren’t throwing you guys to the wolves
在疫情期間去呼叫中心工作可能是最糟糕的時(shí)候。他們不會(huì)認(rèn)真訓(xùn)練新員工，一點(diǎn)都不在乎他們，我希望他們沒(méi)把你們?nèi)拥嚼侨豪铩?/b>
I just got into a work from home callcenter, found out a way to glitch their fucking useless software and just spend 8 hours a day playing visual novels, been like that for three weeks, already recieved a paycheck, havent worked for a second, feelsgoodman
我剛在一個(gè)可以在家工作的呼叫中心找到了工作，找到了一個(gè)黑進(jìn)他們沒(méi)用的軟件的方法，每天花8個(gè)小時(shí)推gal，差不多這么混了三個(gè)星期，已經(jīng)收到了工資，但我一分鐘都沒(méi)工作過(guò)，感覺(jué)太棒了哥們
I worked in a call centre 15 years ago, I noticed a pixel in one page which changed the cursor, I clicked it and recorded a sale. I had a 200% conversion rate that day before realising I’d get busted if I kept that up, I’d add 3-5 “sales” every day. Lasted 6 months before quality control realised my figures were off. I was making ￡2500 a month at a part time tele sales job in 2005 lol. Good times
我15年前在呼叫中心工作過(guò)，當(dāng)時(shí)我發(fā)現(xiàn)頁(yè)面上有個(gè)像素會(huì)讓鼠標(biāo)變化，我點(diǎn)了一下，就多了一份銷(xiāo)售記錄。我那天的轉(zhuǎn)化率達(dá)到了200%，于是我發(fā)現(xiàn)假如我接著那么干的話(huà)就會(huì)被開(kāi)除，所以我每天就多“銷(xiāo)售”3-5份。這樣過(guò)了6個(gè)月，質(zhì)檢部門(mén)才發(fā)現(xiàn)我的數(shù)據(jù)有問(wèn)題。我在2005年在電話(huà)銷(xiāo)售零工上一個(gè)月賺了2500英鎊。真是好時(shí)代
God bless shitty programers
上帝保佑那些半吊子程序員
I did that mistake of working in a call center once When I was just 19 and didn’t know any better. It longed for 4 days before I quit.
我19歲那年犯過(guò)錯(cuò)誤，想也沒(méi)想就去呼叫中心工作了。堅(jiān)持了4天我就辭職了。
我寧可在街上乞討，也不會(huì)再去呼叫中心工作。
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I liked my time working in one. Especially the night shifts. I could watch series and play heroes of might and magic until someone called.
我還挺喜歡自己以前在呼叫中心工作的時(shí)候的。尤其是夜班。我可以一邊看電視劇一邊玩英雄無(wú)敵，直到有人打來(lái)電話(huà)。
原創(chuàng)翻譯：龍騰網(wǎng) http://mintwatchbillionaireclub.com 轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明出處
I've never been in a call centre where there was longer than 1 or 2 minutes before calls, and even that was a surprise. They would immediately start cutting shifts if the call volume went down.
我待過(guò)的呼叫中心里從來(lái)沒(méi)接過(guò)時(shí)長(zhǎng)超過(guò)一兩分鐘的電話(huà)，就算一兩分鐘長(zhǎng)也很少見(jiàn)。假如電話(huà)的音量變小了，他們會(huì)立刻換班。
Basically in the army there’s a large communications headquarter and there’s soldiers from other departments that can fill in if there’s too many calls. There used to be 4 people answering calls during peak hours and after 17:00 it was only 1 of us per department for emergency stuff. Typically it was crazy non-stop calling from 9:00 until 14:00 ish, and then it got slower. We had 24 hour shifts, and at night we only got like a call every 20-30 mins or so. I learned to power-nap between calls.
簡(jiǎn)單來(lái)說(shuō)在軍隊(duì)里有個(gè)大型通訊中心，假如來(lái)的電話(huà)太多的話(huà)其他部門(mén)的士兵也會(huì)過(guò)來(lái)幫忙。在高峰期有4個(gè)人接電話(huà)，17:00之后每個(gè)部門(mén)就只留一個(gè)人應(yīng)急了。通常來(lái)說(shuō)每天9:00到14:00電話(huà)都像瘋了一樣來(lái)個(gè)不停，然后就會(huì)慢慢變少。我們有24小時(shí)的換班，在晚上基本每隔兩三十分鐘才回來(lái)一個(gè)電話(huà)。我學(xué)會(huì)了在來(lái)電之間打盹。
回電話(huà)也很輕松?；旧夏阋龅氖虑榫褪前阉麄儗?duì)接給對(duì)應(yīng)上級(jí)的辦公室，或者他們想要聯(lián)系的基地。我們把所有基地的電話(huà)都記在心里，包括轉(zhuǎn)接過(guò)程在內(nèi)的通話(huà)時(shí)長(zhǎng)可以控制在5秒以?xún)?nèi)
Oh I was in a call center during my time in the army. I thought old lonely people and gay horny guys and old ladies only called us. I’m glad they call other call centers too. I wish I knew your call center’s number so I could send them to you
哦，我在部隊(duì)的時(shí)候在呼叫中心服務(wù)過(guò)。我以為那些孤獨(dú)的老年人，憋不住的男同性戀和老太太們只會(huì)給我們打電話(huà)。很高興看見(jiàn)他們也會(huì)給別的呼叫中心打電話(huà)。我真希望當(dāng)時(shí)我知道你們的號(hào)碼，這樣我就可以把他們轉(zhuǎn)接給你們了。
原創(chuàng)翻譯：龍騰網(wǎng) http://mintwatchbillionaireclub.com 轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明出處
Should start an old people call hotline
應(yīng)該建立一個(gè)老年人通話(huà)熱線(xiàn)
It would be an awesome service, It can work both ways too. All those people who grew up without parents/grandparents and people who just want to give/receive affection fill love it.
我覺(jué)得這會(huì)是很棒的服務(wù)，而且可以對(duì)雙方都有幫助。無(wú)論是那些成長(zhǎng)過(guò)程中沒(méi)有父母或祖父母陪伴的人，還是那些想要給他人愛(ài)、從他人那里感到愛(ài)的人，都會(huì)喜歡這種服務(wù)的。
Shit man I’d pay for that service and I’m 30
草，我真的愿意為這種服務(wù)花錢(qián)，我今年30歲
我最近基本上癱瘓?jiān)诖?，我的身體情況在過(guò)去10年里不斷惡化，我的下腹有永久的神經(jīng)損傷，帶來(lái)了嚴(yán)重的運(yùn)動(dòng)問(wèn)題。我真的太想和不認(rèn)識(shí)的人聊天了，至少能讓我沒(méi)那么孤獨(dú)。你們知道每天九成時(shí)間都躺在床上有多么孤獨(dú)嗎？真的非常孤獨(dú)，我的PTSD和抑郁癥都在讓我感到痛苦，因?yàn)槲业纳眢w不能正常工作所以我的心理在不斷斗爭(zhēng)，然后我就會(huì)感到生氣，因?yàn)槲业纳眢w不能像以前那樣工作。
原創(chuàng)翻譯：龍騰網(wǎng) http://mintwatchbillionaireclub.com 轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明出處
我太想和人講講我的“光輝歲月”了，我十九二十歲的時(shí)候也會(huì)騎20公里的自行車(chē)，會(huì)鍛煉身體保持健康，不至于每天吃二十五六片止痛片，我甚至還沒(méi)老，我只是個(gè)因?yàn)榻】祮?wèn)題躺在床上的可憐人。
We're truly social creatures. It makes sense how not being able to be social would cause us mental distress.
我們真的都是社會(huì)生物。不能社交確實(shí)會(huì)給我們帶來(lái)心理問(wèn)題。
有時(shí)我們只能回顧自己開(kāi)心的回憶來(lái)讓自己堅(jiān)持下去。
There’s an app called HelloTalk that’s made for people who want to learn new languages. I use it sometimes and I constantly see people asking others if they’re willing to talk over the phone and practice their English (or other languages) with native speakers. The app is entirely free and there are thousands of users from different countries and ages. I know it doesn’t fit your exact descxtion of what you said but maybe it’s worth a try
有個(gè)叫HelloTalk的APP，是給那些想要學(xué)一門(mén)新語(yǔ)言的人用的。我有時(shí)候會(huì)用，我在上面經(jīng)?？匆?jiàn)有人問(wèn)別人愿不愿意打電話(huà)來(lái)和母語(yǔ)使用者練習(xí)英語(yǔ)（或者其他語(yǔ)言）。這個(gè)應(yīng)用是完全免費(fèi)的，有來(lái)自各個(gè)國(guó)家，不同年齡的成千上萬(wàn)名用戶(hù)。我知道這可能不會(huì)完全符合你的要求，但至少可能值得一試。
How does a company like that make money?
這種公司怎么賺錢(qián)??？
Every time the audience claps the company harnesses the energy.
每次聽(tīng)眾鼓掌的時(shí)候公司都會(huì)從中吸取能量。
Seriously this is a big part of my job working for a charity. Old people call in to donate and we end up chatting for a good hour or more about life in general. Most of them have been stuck inside for over a year now, some haven’t seen another person beyond food delivery guy in months, they just need some kind of human connection. The older ones (90+) have some batshit crazy stories about growing up during the war or meeting dead famous people in their prime. Honestly the best bit of my job by miles.
說(shuō)真的，作為一名在慈善機(jī)構(gòu)工作的人員，這是我工作的重要組成部分。老年人會(huì)打電話(huà)過(guò)來(lái)捐款，然后我們聊個(gè)一小時(shí)，基本上就是談人生。他們很多人都被困在家里一年多了，有好幾個(gè)月除了送食物的人之外都見(jiàn)不到其他人的面孔，他們只是需要一些人類(lèi)之間的交流。那些年齡比較老的（90多歲的）真的有各種各樣瘋狂的故事，比如在戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)中長(zhǎng)大，或者年輕的時(shí)候見(jiàn)過(guò)現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)去世了的名人。真的是目前為止者們工作讓我最喜歡的地方。