每次我女兒去看望她的中國高中朋友，她都會(huì)帶回一個(gè)盛滿各種各種普通食品的袋子，這些東西都是她朋友的媽媽買的。我們不窮，所以我覺得有點(diǎn)尷尬。這難道是中國人的基本禮節(jié)嗎 ？

Another time, I was on a plane. Next to me sat a Chinese lady (I knew she was Chinese because I saw her passport and I heard her speak. I don't speak or understand Chinese myself, but I’ve watched enough Chinese Drama to recognise the language haha). I was just sitting, listening to my music, as she got a bag of crisps out of bag. I quickly looked as I was curious about the noise. She immediately offered me some! I had never seen that woman before, didn’t speak to her except a “hi!” when she sat next to me. And yet, she offered me food! When I declined, she got some sweets and asked if I preferred those. She was so incredibly nice!

還有一次，我在飛機(jī)上。我旁邊坐著一位中國女士(我知道她是中國人，因?yàn)槲铱吹搅怂淖o(hù)照，聽到了她講話。我自己不會(huì)說也不懂中文，但是我看了很多中國戲劇，所以我知道她是中國人）。我坐在座位上聽著音樂，與此同時(shí)她從包里拿出一袋薯片。我快速的看了看，因?yàn)槲液闷嬖胍羰菑哪睦飩鞒鰜淼摹．?dāng)她看到我后，立刻給了我一些她的薯片！我以前從來沒有見過這個(gè)女人，除了一聲“嗨!”之外，沒有和她說過任何話。我友好的拒絕了她給我的食物！當(dāng)我拒絕的時(shí)候，她又拿了一些糖果，問我是否喜歡那些。她真是太好了！

It is part of Chinese culture to offer food. Don't be offended by your daughter coming back with groceries, it’s probably just her friend’s family telling you they appreciate you and your daughter! :)

提供食物是中國文化的一部分。不要因?yàn)槟愕呐畠簬еs貨回來而生氣，這可能只是她朋友的家人告訴你他們很感激你和你的女兒！:)

Tim Brown
When I first arrived in China as a foreigner, I went through a little sensitivity training to learn some cultural differences so we would be successful. One of the things they taught us was to bring a gift to parties such as fruit, alcohol, or cigarettes. A while later I was staying in a hostel in Shanghai and I met a really nice girl who lived in the bed next to me for a couple weeks. We became pretty good friends and when she got herself her own apartment nearby, she invited me to her “housewarming,” even though that’s not what she called it. Remembering what I had learned and having remembered seeing her enjoy a dragon fruit in the hostel, I stopped at the supermarket and picked her up one. It probably only cost me ￥2, but she was so thankful for my little gift! I wonder how she’s doing now… (checking wechat…)

當(dāng)我第一次來到中國的時(shí)候，我參加了一些課程，學(xué)習(xí)一下文化差異，這樣我們就會(huì)和平相處了。他們教給我們的其中一件事就是參加聚會(huì)時(shí)帶禮物，比如水果、酒或者香煙。過了一會(huì)兒，我住進(jìn)了上海的一家青年旅社，遇到了一個(gè)非常不錯(cuò)的女孩，她就住在我旁邊的床上，我們一起住了幾個(gè)星期，然后成了很好的朋友，當(dāng)她在附近找到自己的公寓時(shí)，她邀請我參加她的“喬遷派對”，盡管她并不是這么說的。想到我之前我學(xué)到的東西，記得看到她在青年旅社吃過火龍果，于是我去路邊超市給她買了一個(gè)火龍果，只花了我2美元，但是她非常感謝我的小禮物！我想知道她現(xiàn)在過得怎么樣... (檢查微信...)

Katarzyna Popiel
Thank you for this comment, your stories offer a very interesting peek into the Chinese culture. Do not get me wrong, I am not offended by the Chinese mum’s behaviour, maybe I was just slightly embarassed at first when I was wondering about her motives. I find this ‘feed one another’ habit very sweet and probably useful in a nation that has been seen a lot of hardship in their history. Seems to me that a Chinese friend is a really good friend to have!

謝謝你的評論，你的故事顯示了中國文化非常有趣的一面。不要誤會(huì)我的意思，我并沒有被中國媽媽的行為冒犯，也許我剛開始對她的動(dòng)機(jī)感到有點(diǎn)尷尬。我發(fā)現(xiàn)這種“互相喂養(yǎng)”的習(xí)慣非常甜蜜，而且可能對一個(gè)在歷史上經(jīng)歷過許多艱難困苦的國家來說是有必要的。在我看來，一個(gè)中國朋友是一個(gè)真正的好朋友！

Peggy Hsia
Yes, in Chinese culture, most important business deals are done on dinner tables

是的，在中國文化中，大多數(shù)重要的商業(yè)交易都是在餐桌上完成的

Yang Zhou

Sharing in China is a friendly behavior and an important part of Chinese culture. I think such culture can be dated back to very acient times, when people are difficult to get enough clothes and food for daily life. There is an ancient poem in China, “豈曰無衣，與子同袍”, which means “why you worry about that you don’t have clothes to wear, I will share mine with you”. So if Chinese people want to share something with you, they are trying to show their kindness and friendship.
在中國，分享是一種友好的行為，也是中國文化的重要組成部分。我認(rèn)為這種文化可以追溯到非常古老的時(shí)代，那時(shí)人們很難得到足夠的衣服和食物來維持日常生活。中國有一首古詩“ 豈曰無衣，與子同袍”，意思是當(dāng)你沒有衣服穿得時(shí)候，我把我自己的衣服分享給你。因此，如果中國人想與你分享什么，他們就是在試圖表現(xiàn)他們的善良和友誼。

LN
Yes, It’s interesting to consider the history of cultural customs like this. Famine has been a terrible recurring experience in China, even within living memory.

是的，學(xué)習(xí)這種文化習(xí)俗形成的歷史背景是件很有趣的事情。在中國歷史上，饑荒出現(xiàn)過多次，甚至一些現(xiàn)在還在世的中國老年人都親身經(jīng)歷過饑荒。

Colin Wong (MY)

You don’t need a famine to cultivate love and humanity. The word 仁 (ren) is untranslatable into English (dictionaries do their best!) and it shaped the Chinese culture.
你不需要饑荒來培養(yǎng)愛和人性。中文“仁”詞不好翻譯成英語(字典盡力了!)，因?yàn)檫@個(gè)字塑造了中國文化。

I grew up that way. Every night, when we sit down for dinner, we are scooping out food and placing it into each other’s plate. It is called “l(fā)ove”. Language of love do have a cultural bias and for Chinese, it is the act of service and gift.

我就是在這種環(huán)境下長大的。每天晚上，當(dāng)我們坐下來吃晚飯的時(shí)候，我們都會(huì)把食物舀出來，放到對方的盤子里。這叫做“愛”。愛的語言確實(shí)有一種文化偏見，對于中國人來說，它是一種服務(wù)和饋贈(zèng)的行為。

Way to go China.. All we need is love.

干得好，中國。我們需要的只是愛。

Anna Cavallaro
I’m not of Chinese origin myself, but I know other cultures do this type of thing. I’m Italian and I love to bring other people goodies and things that are common foods in Italy that I would love if they tried and enjoyed! Food to Italians is a way of showing appreciation and care and a sense of community gathering together. It is seen as a gesture of care and respect in my culture to bring someone something that is useful. It is also seen as a kind of trust-building thing; I will bring food and small treats to someone who I trust and/or who I want to trust me. I always bring treats and goodies to a new friend’s home, or if a boss or co worker invites me to dinner or a party, or if I am dating a new person, for example. My family and friends are always bringing me or sharing simple little things, herbs from their garden or a case of pasta or even some snacks and goodies. And in return of course I share with them!

我自己不是中國血統(tǒng)，但我知道其他文化也會(huì)做這種事。我是意大利人，我喜歡給其他人帶些普通的且好吃的東西。如果他們嘗試過并且喜歡的話，我會(huì)很高興的！對意大利人來說，食物是一種表達(dá)感激和關(guān)懷的方式，也是一種社區(qū)團(tuán)結(jié)的感覺。在我們的文化中，給別人帶來一些有用的東西是一種表達(dá)關(guān)心和尊重的姿態(tài)。它也被看作是一種建立信任的事情; 我會(huì)給我信任的人和/或我想信任的人帶食物和小點(diǎn)心。如新朋友邀請我去家里做客，或者如果老板或同事邀請我去吃飯或參加聚會(huì)，或者如果我正在和一個(gè)新朋友約會(huì)，我總會(huì)給他們帶點(diǎn)小點(diǎn)心。我的家人和朋友總是給我?guī)砘蛘叻窒硪恍┖唵蔚男|西，他們花園里的草藥，或者一箱意大利面，甚至一些零食和好吃的東西。作為回報(bào)，我當(dāng)然要和他們分享！

I don’t think the mother of your child’s friend means to come off as offensive, she’s probably just a caring person that wants to share with you. This might just be her way of thanking you in a small way for allowing her daughter to have a great friend! Don’t feel embarrassed. I would personally give her a call and thank her for the food but tell her she doesn’t have to feel obligated to do so and see what she says!

我不認(rèn)為你孩子朋友的母親有冒犯的意思，她可能只是一個(gè)想和你分享的有愛心的人。這可能只是她小小地感謝你讓她女兒有了一個(gè)好朋友的方式！不要覺得尷尬。我會(huì)親自給她打電話，感謝她的食物，但告訴她，她沒有義務(wù)這樣做，看看她說什么！

Colin Wong (MY)
Anna, I am ethnic Chinese and many years ago, I was studying in Australia as in international student. I was told by my peers, if you want to marry a Westerner, an Italian girl will come closest to the Chinese way of life. The family will embrace you and life is always around family. Your wife will love you the way a Chinese girl will. She will care for you and look up to you as her husband. The head of the household.

Anna Cavallaro，我是華人，很多年前，我在澳大利亞留學(xué)。我的同齡人告訴我，如果你想嫁給一個(gè)西方人，意大利女孩是個(gè)不錯(cuò)的選擇，她們最接近中國人的生活方式。家人會(huì)擁抱你，生活總是圍繞著家人。你的妻子會(huì)像中國女孩一樣愛你，照顧你，把你當(dāng)作一家之主。
原創(chuàng)翻譯：龍騰網(wǎng) http://mintwatchbillionaireclub.com 轉(zhuǎn)載請注明出處

I wasn’t sure if it was true. But then reading your sharing, I think I get the idea.

我不確定這是不是真的，但是讀了你的分享，我想我明白了。

Rahul Iyer
Teach your daughter to be nice but politely refuse. Same for you. My wife is Vietnamese, and this is slightly similar. My wife and I are “upper middle class" professionals. She is an Accountant, and I am an engineer. We live good, frugal lives. We do not like to spend money frivolously.

教導(dǎo)你的女兒對人友善，但要禮貌地拒絕。你也是。我的妻子是越南人，我們遇到了和你類似的情況。我妻子和我都是“中上階層”，她是會(huì)計(jì)，我是工程師。我們過著美好節(jié)儉的生活。我們不喜歡亂花錢。

Whenever we go visit her great aunt, and aunts, who live nearby (a whole clan of four families) we often are “given" a bag of soaps, toiletries, etc. They like to live on shopping and “consuming”, and maybe always overbuy. They even did this for clothes…and gave wife sacks of “oversized” unnecessary clothes also.

每當(dāng)我們?nèi)グ菰L她的姑姥姥和姨媽，她們就住在附近(一個(gè)由四個(gè)家庭組成的大家族) ，我們經(jīng)常會(huì)“得到”一袋肥皂、化妝品等等。他們喜歡靠購物和“消費(fèi)”為生，總是過度消費(fèi)。他們經(jīng)常買很多的衣服... 并把不必要的衣服送給我的妻子。
原創(chuàng)翻譯：龍騰網(wǎng) http://mintwatchbillionaireclub.com 轉(zhuǎn)載請注明出處

When they give this, often at the end of our visit, my wife politely declined. My wife also “conveniently” forgets to take the bag home. She deals with the fallout some 45 to 60 minutes later when they call her, but no one is driving 45 minutes away just to retrieve the package.

他們通常在我們準(zhǔn)備離開的時(shí)候送我們大包衣服，我的妻子一般都會(huì)禮貌地拒絕。我的妻子有時(shí)也“順便”忘記把包帶回家。大約45到60分鐘后，他們會(huì)打電話給她讓她回去取衣服，但是沒有人會(huì)開車45分鐘去取一個(gè)沒用的東西。

They did this a few times, but eventually got the clue that it is not needed.

他們這樣做了好幾次，但每次我們都沒要，他們最終反應(yīng)過來，這些東西對我們沒用。

They do not understand how Americans or Westerners live today…at least the older generation.

他們不理解今天的美國人或西方人是如何生活的... ... 至少是老一代。

My advice would be to do what my wife does, and teach your children that. They need to learn to do it in a way where they do not cause the host to “l(fā)ose face".

我的建議是做我妻子做的事，并且教你的孩子們這些。我們需要學(xué)會(huì)以一種不會(huì)讓主人“丟面子”的方式來做這件事。

June Williams
I am 100% Chinese. Please don’t be embarrassed; Chinese people offer food because it’s polite in our culture. Yes, we greet visitors by asking ”have you eaten yet?” and then we offer them food no matter how they answer. It’s a ritual - you can refuse twice and still be polite, but the third answer is your “real” answer. Even if they have nothing except a can of Spam, they will offer it to you.So if you notice that they do offer food, you should try to do the same when they come to your house, and when you come next to their house BRING SOMETHING like a few pieces of fruit (preferably yellow or orange, i.e. “gold-colored” - or red for good luck) or a small box of cookies or chocolate; otherwise, to come empty-handed to their house makes you look like a beggar. (That’s traditional Chinese thinking.)

我是100% 的中國人。請不要感到尷尬，中國人提供食物是因?yàn)樵谖覀兊奈幕羞@是禮貌的行為。我們會(huì)問客人“你吃過了嗎?”然后我們給他們準(zhǔn)備食物，不管他們怎么回答。這是一種儀式——你可以拒絕兩次，但仍然保持禮貌，但第三次回答必須是你的真心話。即使他們只有一罐午餐肉，他們會(huì)拿出來和你分享的。如果你注意到他們?yōu)槟闾峁┝耸澄铮銘?yīng)該在他們來你家時(shí)也這樣做。到他們家之前，去附近買一些水果(最好是黃色或橙色的，即“金色”或紅色代表好運(yùn))或一小盒餅干或巧克力之類的東西。否則，空手去別人家會(huì)讓你看起來像個(gè)乞丐。(這是中國人的傳統(tǒng)思維。)

Americans may not offer food but they often offer a drink - water, coffee, tea, etc.

美國人可能不準(zhǔn)備食物，但他們經(jīng)常提供飲料-水，咖啡，茶等。

Shawn Xuande
When you are asking if it’s normal courtesy for the Chinese, I would think at least a fourth of the Chinese would do so. But, I don’t believe it’s the case. You may try to let you daughter to visit another Chinese family, the chance is it’s unlikely to happen.

當(dāng)你問中國人這是否是正常的禮節(jié)時(shí)，我認(rèn)為至少有四分之一的中國人也會(huì)這么做的。但是，我不認(rèn)為這是普遍的事情，你可以試著讓你的女兒去拜訪另一個(gè)中國家庭，帶回來一包禮物的可能性不大。
原創(chuàng)翻譯：龍騰網(wǎng) http://mintwatchbillionaireclub.com 轉(zhuǎn)載請注明出處

But, I won’t suggest something wrong with the friend’s mother. She may like to have such things for her kids and also like to give it as a treat to your daughter because her daughter loves it, for example. —- Just pure speculating.

但是，我不認(rèn)為你女兒同學(xué)的母親有什么問題。例如，她可能喜歡為孩子們準(zhǔn)備這些東西，也可能喜歡把它當(dāng)作一種款待送給你的女兒，因?yàn)樗呐畠汉芟矚g。這只是純粹的推測。

The Chinese used to treat food very special because food had been so often in shortage. But in that time people didn’t give others groceries as a treat to bring home.

中國人過去對食物非?？粗兀?yàn)槭澄锝?jīng)常短缺。但是在那個(gè)時(shí)候，人們不會(huì)把食品雜貨當(dāng)作待客之道送給別人帶回家。

People are different individuals, and they do things differently. I don’t think there is anything wrong if your daughter asks her friend why her mom does it. I don’t think it’s going to offend anyone. It’s an easy way to solve your puzzle, I believe.

人們是不同的個(gè)體，他們做事情的方式也不同。如果你的女兒問她的朋友她媽媽為什么這么做，我不認(rèn)為有什么不對。我不認(rèn)為這會(huì)冒犯任何人。我相信這是解決你的難題的簡單方法。

Colin Wong (MY)
I am not sure which part of the world you are from. Admittedly, the statistics vary from location to location. Where we are, in Malaysia, Singapore, Thailand and Indonesia, this kind of courtesy is very very much alive.

我不確定你來自世界的哪個(gè)地方。不可否認(rèn)，不同地區(qū)的統(tǒng)計(jì)數(shù)據(jù)各不相同。在馬來西亞、新加坡、泰國和印度尼西亞，這種禮節(jié)非常常見。

Janis Chan
All are great answers. I would attempt to explain the part about “basic groceries”. We all give gifts that we ourselves like, and the giver could well be liking certain types of noodles or a particular brand of chilli sauce, and want you to try them. Gifting food is very normal / common amongst Chinese people and within Chinese families. Food is the vocabulary through which Chinese people express love. For them, they share their “comfort food” when they treat you as family. A close school friend of their son or daughter is like a niece or nephew. The giver is extending to your daughter the love they have for their own child.

所有的答案都是偉大的。我來解釋“基本食品”這一部分。我們都會(huì)送我們自己喜歡的禮物，送禮物的人很可能喜歡某種類型的面條或某種特定品牌的辣椒醬，并希望你嘗一嘗。贈(zèng)送食物在中國人和中國家庭中是非常普遍的。食物是中國人表達(dá)愛意的東西。對他們來說，當(dāng)他們把你當(dāng)作家人時(shí)，他們會(huì)分享他們的“慰藉食物”。他們兒子或女兒的密友就像侄女或侄子一樣。送禮物的人把他們對自己孩子的愛送給你的女兒。

Dave Mac
My wife is Chinese. When we were in China I noticed that whenever we visited anyone they would offer us food and since they all seemed to have large circular tables it was easy to add another seat or two. when we visit friends in the UK we always take food to give to our host - usually a yellow honeydew melon. I think the colour is significant. our Chinese hosts are always surprised and delighted that I want to use a bowl and eat Chinese style food because often they have to make a Western-style meal for their husbands. once we were invited to visit my British niece at Christmas and told to arrive at 2pm. When we arrived they were just finishing their Christmas dinner and didn’t offer anything except a cup of tea. My wife didn’t say anything at the time but when we got home it was obvious that she was furious. She even suggested inviting my niece and her family for lunch and giving them soup and chopsticks. It is almost a mortal sin not to offer a meal to visitors in most parts of China. There may be a connection to the famines in the early 21st century 1928–30, 1948–49 and 1958 but I think the tradition goes back much further than that.

我妻子是中國人。當(dāng)我們在中國的時(shí)候，我注意到每當(dāng)我們拜訪任何人的時(shí)候，他們都會(huì)給我們提供食物，他們似乎都有大的圓形桌子，所以很容易增加一個(gè)或兩個(gè)座位。當(dāng)我們拜訪英國的朋友時(shí)，我們總是帶食物給我們朋友，通常是一個(gè)黃色的蜜瓜。我認(rèn)為禮物的顏色很重要。我們的中國朋友總是對我想用碗吃中國菜感到驚喜，因?yàn)樗齻兘?jīng)常要為她們的丈夫做一頓西餐（盤子）。有一次，我們被邀請?jiān)谑フQ節(jié)去看望我的英國侄女，并被告知下午兩點(diǎn)到達(dá)。當(dāng)我們到達(dá)時(shí)，他們剛剛吃完圣誕晚餐，除了一杯茶，什么也沒有提供。我妻子當(dāng)時(shí)什么也沒說，但當(dāng)我們回到家時(shí)，很明顯她很生氣。她甚至建議邀請我的侄女和她的家人一起共進(jìn)午餐，但只提供他們湯和筷子。在中國大部分地區(qū)，不給客人提供食物幾乎是一種不可饒恕的罪過。這可能與21世紀(jì)早期1928-30年、1948-49年和1958年的饑荒有關(guān)，但我認(rèn)為這一傳統(tǒng)可以追溯到更久遠(yuǎn)的時(shí)代。