有什么孩子都能懂的事實(shí)是你長(zhǎng)大之后才尷尬地意識(shí)到的？
What basic, children''s-age-level fact did you only find out embarrassingly later in life?
譯文簡(jiǎn)介
家長(zhǎng)們?yōu)榱俗尯⒆永蠈?shí)起來(lái)確實(shí)想盡了辦法。
正文翻譯
What basic, children's-age-level fact did you only find out embarrassingly later in life?
有什么孩子都能懂的事實(shí)是你長(zhǎng)大之后才尷尬地意識(shí)到的？
評(píng)論翻譯
很贊 ( 1 )
收藏
My great-grandfather had half a pinkie on his left hand and always said it was because he liked to use it to sop up leftover pancake syrup and had worn it down to a nub. This made sense to me because I'd seen him do that plenty of times.
我的曾祖父左手只有半根小拇指，他以前總是說(shuō)這是因?yàn)樗矚g用這根指頭把烤餅剩下的糖漿刮起來(lái)，手指慢慢就磨沒(méi)了。我以前覺(jué)得很有道理，因?yàn)槲医?jīng)?？匆娝@么做。
直到上了大學(xué)之后我才發(fā)現(xiàn)這件事很可笑，于是我問(wèn)他當(dāng)時(shí)發(fā)生了什么。事實(shí)上是他和我叔叔以前在鐵匠鋪工作，我叔叔不小心把錘子砸到他的小拇指上了。他不希望在我還是個(gè)孩子的時(shí)候說(shuō)出這個(gè)事實(shí)把我嚇到，但是在我問(wèn)起這件事的時(shí)候，我已經(jīng)遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)過(guò)了能處理好這件事的年齡了。
When I asked my grandad why he was bald he said he stood up too fast out of a helicopter when he was in the RAF, and it all blew off.
我問(wèn)我祖父他為什么禿的時(shí)候，他說(shuō)他在皇家空軍的時(shí)候坐在直升機(jī)里往外探頭的動(dòng)作太快了， 頭發(fā)就都吹掉了。
Not me, but my father once stole into the woods during a family camping trip and put marshmallows on a bush, so it looked like they grew on it.
不是我，但我爸有一次在家庭野營(yíng)的時(shí)候偷偷跑進(jìn)森林里，把棉花糖放到了灌木上，看起來(lái)就像是從灌木上長(zhǎng)出了棉花糖一樣。
我妹妹在明白過(guò)來(lái)之前拿它當(dāng)盆栽養(yǎng)了好久。
I truly believed that for the longest time that hair grew from the ends of the strands, not from the scalp. When I was 13 I asked my friend who had dyed her hair what she was going to do when the ends grew her natural colour. Didn’t hear the end of it. My stupidity still pains me to this day.
我之前有相當(dāng)長(zhǎng)的一段時(shí)間相信頭發(fā)是從末梢，而不是從頭皮往外長(zhǎng)的。在我13歲的時(shí)候，我問(wèn)了一個(gè)染了頭發(fā)的同學(xué)假如她的發(fā)梢再長(zhǎng)出原色的頭發(fā)該怎么辦。我當(dāng)時(shí)的愚蠢讓我到今天仍然感到痛苦。
When I was 4 or 5 my mother brought me home a balloon one day. Plain blue balloon with helium. I accidentally let it go and it flew away. Being little, I was devastated. Later that night she comes back from somewhere and tells me she was at the gas station and miraculously, my balloon just came floating by. Being a kid I was thrilled and totally believed it.
在我四五歲的時(shí)候，我媽媽往家里給我?guī)Я藗€(gè)氣球。普通的藍(lán)氣球，里面充了氦。我不小心把氣球松開了，它就飛走了。當(dāng)時(shí)我還小，所以特別難過(guò)。那天晚上她從什么地方回來(lái)，跟我說(shuō)她在加油站的時(shí)候突然奇跡般地看到我的氣球飛了過(guò)來(lái)。當(dāng)時(shí)我都驚到了，完全相信了這一點(diǎn)。
然后快進(jìn)二十多年。我在約會(huì)，開車去加油站加油，看見一個(gè)氣球從加油站飛了過(guò)去。過(guò)了這么長(zhǎng)時(shí)間我可能從來(lái)都沒(méi)再回顧一遍這個(gè)故事。于是我開始跟我的約會(huì)對(duì)象講我當(dāng)時(shí)是怎么有個(gè)氣球不小心飛走了，我媽媽又是怎么在加油站發(fā)現(xiàn)了那個(gè)我弄丟的氣球，在我扯著嗓門跟他講這件事的時(shí)候我才意識(shí)到（太晚了我已經(jīng)像個(gè)傻子一樣了）顯然那他媽不是同一個(gè)氣球。我從來(lái)沒(méi)見過(guò)哪個(gè)人笑得那么厲害。
原創(chuàng)翻譯：龍騰網(wǎng) http://mintwatchbillionaireclub.com 轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明出處
As a kid I used to think the Black Market was an actual place like a bazaar where all the criminals would regularly meet up
我小的時(shí)候以為黑市是個(gè)真實(shí)存在的東西，就像個(gè)集子一樣，所有的犯罪分子都會(huì)定期過(guò)去碰頭。
Me too, I actually thought I went to a black market once when I was way younger and visiting London.
我也是，我很小的時(shí)候去倫敦旅游，還以為自己真的去了一趟黑市。
那些攤位都有黑色的棚子，所以我就以為這肯定是黑市了。
I thought until the age of about 21 that when companies had "Est" next to their name, it was estimated that companies were started around that time.
直到21歲之前，我一直以為那些公司的名字前面加個(gè)“Est”的，意思是公司的創(chuàng)始時(shí)期估計(jì)在那段時(shí)間附近。
原創(chuàng)翻譯：龍騰網(wǎng) http://mintwatchbillionaireclub.com 轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明出處
直到我跟我的前伴侶表達(dá)我深刻的不滿的時(shí)候，我說(shuō)這多可笑啊，難道沒(méi)有人知道這些公司是什么時(shí)候建立的嗎？為什么都是估計(jì)的？！
她瞪了我一會(huì)兒，然后說(shuō)：
“是在那年建立的”（譯注：Established“建立于”和Estimated“估計(jì)”的縮寫都可以是Est.）
Not me, but a friend of mine didn't learn that Martin Luther and Martin Luther King, Jr weren't the same person until college.
不是我，我有個(gè)朋友在上大學(xué)之前都不知道馬丁路德和馬丁路德金不是一個(gè)人。
Don’t add dish soap to the dishwasher. Found that one out at 26. I swear it’s only because I grew up washing dishes by hand. Had a fun time cleaning that mistake.
不要把洗潔精放到洗碗機(jī)里。26歲那年我才發(fā)現(xiàn)。我發(fā)誓這是因?yàn)槲覐男〉酱蠖加檬窒赐?。收拾我捅的這個(gè)簍子的時(shí)候還挺有意思的。
原創(chuàng)翻譯：龍騰網(wǎng) http://mintwatchbillionaireclub.com 轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明出處
I was 23 when I learned I was allergic to apples.
我知道自己對(duì)蘋果過(guò)敏是23歲那年。
有人抱怨他抽完煙之后嗓子發(fā)緊，我回答說(shuō)“哦就像你吃蘋果的時(shí)候一樣？”你可以想象一下之后的對(duì)話是怎么進(jìn)行的。
A friend of mine learned he was allergic to bananas when his mom asked why he didn’t want one and he said he just wasn’t in the mood for a spicy fruit. We were at least teenagers
我有個(gè)朋友意識(shí)到自己對(duì)香蕉過(guò)敏的契機(jī)是他媽媽問(wèn)他為什么不想吃香蕉的時(shí)候，他說(shuō)他只是現(xiàn)在不太想吃辣味的水果。當(dāng)時(shí)我們至少是青少年。
My mother told me that if you swallowed gum it would stick to your ribs. I was in my second year of college in an Anatomy class when it hit me that this isn’t true.
我媽媽跟我說(shuō)假如你把口香糖咽下去，口香糖就會(huì)粘在你的肋骨上。我在讀大二那年上解剖課的時(shí)候才猛然發(fā)現(xiàn)這不是真的。
原創(chuàng)翻譯：龍騰網(wǎng) http://mintwatchbillionaireclub.com 轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明出處
A few years ago I was searching for different classical pieces in Spotify, getting frustrated that every version Spotify had of works by composers like Beethoven and Bach were "covers" performed by modern orchestras.
幾年前我在Spotify上搜索古典音樂(lè)的時(shí)候，非常氣憤地發(fā)現(xiàn)貝多芬和巴赫之類的作曲家的作品在Spotify上的所有版本都是某個(gè)現(xiàn)代的交響樂(lè)團(tuán)“翻唱”的。
我智障一般的大腦到處找了半天18世紀(jì)的原版，才發(fā)現(xiàn)我有多蠢。
My mom used to tell me the car doesn’t start if the seatbelts aren’t buckled … didn’t know that wasn’t a real feature until I was 22
我媽媽以前跟我說(shuō)假如安全帶沒(méi)系好的話車子是沒(méi)辦法發(fā)動(dòng)的……直到22歲我才意識(shí)到這不是真正存在的功能。
Thought the former leader of North Korea was Kim Jong the Second for an embarrassingly long time. I somehow managed to avoid hearing his name said out loud. Or... written in a serif font, apparently.
我有很長(zhǎng)一段時(shí)間都以為朝鮮之前的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)人叫“金正二世（譯注：金正日的英文名是Kim Jong Il）”。我不知道自己是怎么做到在這么長(zhǎng)的時(shí)間里都沒(méi)聽到別人大聲讀出他的名字的?；蛘摺靡r線字體打出來(lái)。
I was watching the news once and the anchor kept referring to Malcom X as Malcom the Tenth.
我有一次看新聞，播音員一直把馬爾科姆X念成馬爾科姆十世。
My 31 year-old girlfriend thought islands don’t touch the bottom of the ocean
我31歲的女朋友覺(jué)得島嶼和海底之間是沒(méi)有連接的
Can confirm this is a thing. Was a kayak/surf/snorkel guide in hawaii and a STAGGERING amount of people asked me where/how long it would take to swim under the island.
我能證實(shí)你說(shuō)的。之前我在夏威夷當(dāng)皮劃艇、沖浪和徒手潛水的向?qū)В刑貏e多的人問(wèn)我游到島嶼的底下要花多久。
There's no chemical in the pool that reveals pee. A buddy and I were talking about it and we both realized at the same time that nether of us have actually SEEN it. We looked it up and felt dumb as hell.
游泳池里沒(méi)有那種能讓尿變得明顯的化學(xué)物質(zhì)。我和我哥們有一次正在聊這件事，我們同時(shí)意識(shí)到根本沒(méi)見過(guò)這種東西。我們查了查，發(fā)現(xiàn)自己蠢得要死。
編輯：沒(méi)錯(cuò)，不用你們回，我知道氯氣和尿液混合會(huì)產(chǎn)生那種“泳池味兒”。我說(shuō)的不是這個(gè)。我說(shuō)的是他們說(shuō)的那種往泳池里放的神秘的化學(xué)物質(zhì)，假如有人在泳池里尿尿的話物質(zhì)就會(huì)變色，識(shí)別出來(lái)是誰(shuí)在尿尿。這種物質(zhì)并不存在。這是他們嚇唬小孩讓他們不要在泳池里尿尿的話。
HAHA my parents put a pool in our backyard when I was in middle school and told us that they added chemicals that reveals pee and I told literally everyone who came to my house about it and when I was like…23 I found out it was a lie
哈哈哈哈我的父母在我上中學(xué)的時(shí)候在我們家的后院修了個(gè)泳池，并且跟我們說(shuō)他們往泳池里放了能顯示出尿的化學(xué)成分，我就跟每個(gè)來(lái)我家泳池玩的人都講了一遍這個(gè)事，直到我大概23歲的時(shí)候我才發(fā)現(xiàn)這是假的。
原創(chuàng)翻譯：龍騰網(wǎng) http://mintwatchbillionaireclub.com 轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明出處
I was probably in my 30’s when I realised that killing yourself by putting your head in an oven was the gas killing you and not just burning your head off.
我大概30多歲的時(shí)候才知道把腦袋放到爐子上面自殺是一氧化碳?xì)⑺滥?，而不是火把腦袋烤熟。
我兄弟今年30歲，有2個(gè)孩子，不錯(cuò)的職業(yè)生涯，但他真的到現(xiàn)在也不懂怎么用那種普通的有大小針的表看時(shí)間……
I thought that when you ate, all the food piled up from your feet and then when it reached your butt, you went poop
我曾經(jīng)以為你吃東西的時(shí)候，你吃進(jìn)去的東西都會(huì)從腳開始堆積，堆到屁股的時(shí)候你就去拉屎。
我不知道這是哪來(lái)的想法，但是我相信了很久。
My grandma always made me eat the crust of my bread because "it has the most nutrients." In college when I told my younger cousin that in front of my Grandma, she laughed and said "I only told you that so you wouldn't waste the crust."
我奶奶總是讓我吃面包邊，因?yàn)椤盃I(yíng)養(yǎng)最豐富”。等我上大學(xué)之后在我奶奶面前跟我的表弟說(shuō)這件事的時(shí)候，她笑著說(shuō)“我只是想讓你別浪費(fèi)了面包邊”。
還有一個(gè)類似的，假如你按燈開關(guān)的頻率太快，你就會(huì)搞出火災(zāi)。在我當(dāng)了家長(zhǎng)之后我才意識(shí)到這只是讓孩子們別煩人的方法。
A friend of mine had a mom that would make sure there was an inch of room for his feet to grow whenever he got new shoes as a kid. He was in his twenties and trying on new shoes, and asked the salesperson if there was room at the tip. They looked up at him like he had a dick growing out of his forehead and said, "You don't need room, you're done growing." Oof.
我有個(gè)朋友，他小的時(shí)候媽媽每次給他買鞋都會(huì)確保新鞋的腳指頭前面有一英寸的空間給他長(zhǎng)個(gè)。后來(lái)他已經(jīng)二十多歲了，買新鞋的時(shí)候問(wèn)售貨員腳尖還有沒(méi)有空間。他們看他的樣子就像是他腦門上長(zhǎng)出了根屌一樣，然后說(shuō)，“你不需要留空間了，你長(zhǎng)不動(dòng)了?！卑∨丁?/b>
My mum use to tell me that putting too much vinegar on your chips makes your blood dry up so I’ve been scared of putting too much on. I’m 25 now and just realised my mum wanted me to save everything due to her being a single mum and in alot of debt.
我媽媽以前跟我說(shuō)往薯片里放太多醋會(huì)讓你的血變干，于是我就再也不敢放太多東西了。25歲之后我才意識(shí)到我媽媽只是想讓我做到一切都節(jié)省，因?yàn)樗莻€(gè)單身母親，并且欠了很多債。
I had a friend who at 25 found out pepperoni was indeed not a vegetable.
我有個(gè)朋友在25歲那年才發(fā)現(xiàn)佩佩羅尼（披薩餅上的意大利干臘腸）不是蔬菜。
他點(diǎn)了個(gè)肉食至尊披薩，然后嚴(yán)肅地問(wèn)服務(wù)員為什么這個(gè)本應(yīng)該只有肉的披薩上有佩佩羅尼，服務(wù)員又驚訝又覺(jué)得好笑。
I had to tell my aunt, at the age of 60, that cats and dogs cannot interbreed and create some sort of hybrid catdog.
我得跟我60歲的姨媽解釋貓和狗是不能雜交生出混種貓狗的。
她一開始還不相信，然后我就得跟她說(shuō)要不然這個(gè)世界上就會(huì)有很多半人半羊的生物到處跑了。
My mother used to feed me 'dark green lettuce' as salads, I loved it even when I was a kid.
我媽媽以前喜歡把一種“暗綠色的生菜”做成沙拉，我還小的時(shí)候就很喜歡。
我想那年我應(yīng)該17歲，請(qǐng)一個(gè)朋友來(lái)我家吃完飯，讓我媽媽再填一份暗綠色的生菜。
朋友像看傻逼一樣地看著我，“呃，你指的是菠菜？”
我媽騙了我一輩子
My grandpa used to take me fishing a lot as a child. He explained that any noise at all would scare the fish in the lake and ruin fishing for everyone there for hours.
小時(shí)候我爺爺很喜歡帶我去釣魚。他跟我說(shuō)任何噪音都會(huì)把魚嚇跑，并且會(huì)讓那里釣魚的所有人都好幾個(gè)小時(shí)釣不到魚。
上個(gè)月我28歲了，坐船跟我丈夫出海釣魚……我才意識(shí)到我爺爺只是想要安靜。
編輯：有人說(shuō)你真的不能發(fā)出聲音，我解釋一下。我們出去釣魚的時(shí)候我丈夫打開了收音機(jī)。聽到我抱怨之后他說(shuō)，“哦寶貝。你爺爺只是想讓你閉嘴?！?/b>
我們那天釣上來(lái)不少魚，并且鬧了很大動(dòng)靜。
原創(chuàng)翻譯：龍騰網(wǎng) http://mintwatchbillionaireclub.com 轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明出處
My mom used to tell me that accidentally biting my tongue or cheek was a sign that I was overly tired. I believed that until I was 15 or 16. Turns out she was just trying to get me to go to bed earlier
我媽媽以前告訴我說(shuō)不小心咬到舌頭或者腮幫子意味著我太累了。我直到十五六歲為止仍然相信她的話，結(jié)果她只是想讓我早點(diǎn)上床睡覺(jué)。
I am an American living in Japan. Not only did the kids I used to teach think the blonde hairs on my arms were made of gold, so that I could cut them off and sell them for money, I was asked if my blue eyes caused me to see the world through a blue tint. The latter was asked by a 30 year old woman.
我是個(gè)在日本生活的美國(guó)人。我教過(guò)的孩子們以為我胳膊上的金毛是金子做的，我可以把毛刮下來(lái)賣錢，還有個(gè)人問(wèn)我我的藍(lán)眼睛是不是讓我的視野帶上了藍(lán)色。后者是一個(gè)30歲的女人問(wèn)的。
原創(chuàng)翻譯：龍騰網(wǎng) http://mintwatchbillionaireclub.com 轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明出處
Soft drinks are called soft drinks in order to distinguish them from drinks with hard alcohol in them. Figured it out at like 28.
軟飲料之所以叫軟飲料，是因?yàn)橐屠锩嬗芯凭娘嬃蠀^(qū)分。28歲那年我才懂。
I found out a few months ago that foxes aren’t cats. It had never occurred to me to say this much about it, but my friends thought it was hilarious when I tried to defend myself.、
幾個(gè)月之前我才發(fā)現(xiàn)狐貍不是貓科動(dòng)物。之前我從來(lái)沒(méi)認(rèn)真討論過(guò)這件事，但是在我為自己申辯的時(shí)候我朋友覺(jué)得很好笑。