你是什么時候意識到你的“朋友”實(shí)際上是假朋友的？
When did you realize your “friends” were actually fake friends?
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正文翻譯
When did you realize your “friends” were actually fake friends?
你是什么時候意識到你的“朋友”實(shí)際上是假朋友的？
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When I slowly realized I was only around for chores and errands. Rides to the airport, pick up furniture, help move. Anything social always resulted in either last minute cancellations, showing up 45 minutes late and bolting after 10 minutes. I thought they were busy, but no.
當(dāng)我慢慢發(fā)現(xiàn)只有在需要干家務(wù)活時才叫我的時候。搭車去機(jī)場，運(yùn)送大件家具，幫忙搬家。任何與社交有關(guān)的活動要不然是最后一分鐘取消，要不然是遲到45分鐘，要不然是10分鐘之后就跑。我以為他們很忙，但其實(shí)不是。
Went to pick up my xbox 360 a friend was borrowing, and our whole group of friends were there. They had spent the entire day playing games with snacks and pizza, and I had not been invited. And now I was in the situation of being the douche who takes the ball home and ruins the fun for everyone. I took my xbox and never spoke to anyone in that group again.
我去取朋友借走的Xbox 360，結(jié)果發(fā)現(xiàn)我的整個朋友圈子都在那里。他們吃著披薩唱著歌在那里打了一天的游戲，沒有邀請我。現(xiàn)在我又變成了那個把球帶回家去不讓大家盡興的混蛋了。我把Xbox帶回家去之后就再也沒跟他們說過話。
They stopped inviting me to hang out. They would ask me to drive them to parties, but not invite me to go to the parties. They basically ghosted me for a while.
他們不再邀請我出去玩了。他們會讓我開車帶他們?nèi)ヅ蓪Γ珡臎]邀請過我去那些派對。有一段時間他們基本上是把我當(dāng)成了空氣。
之前他們是特別棒、特別重要的朋友，但他們逐漸變得非常自大。我花了很長時間才意識到我應(yīng)該放棄，尋找別的人。
Dude. The group of friends I gave up on would do this to this guy we know. They'd invite him to hang out only so he could drive us. One time they didn't let him into the club so I decided to stay behind with him and watch movies at his house. He even had the decency to go back for my friends when the club closed. I'm no longer friends with them but I am still friends with the guy and he even helped me get together with my boyfriend. I don't give him enough props lol.
太對了哥們。之前被我放棄了的那群朋友就會對我認(rèn)識的這個人做這種事情。他們邀請他出來玩，只是為了讓他開車載我們一程。有一次他們沒讓他進(jìn)俱樂部和他們一起玩，所以我決定不進(jìn)去，而是留下來陪他一個人，去他家里看電影。他甚至講究到會在俱樂部關(guān)門的時候再過去看看我的朋友們。我現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)不再和其他人是朋友了，但我仍然和這個人是朋友，并且他還幫我和我現(xiàn)在的男朋友在一起。我沒有給他足夠的支持哈哈哈
Back in my first year of college, I used to have a group of friends (like 7 dudes with me included). We always hang out together and we're used to have this "group chat" where we discuss about anything from class subjects to random things. After a year, I noticed that one of the guys (let's just call him Randy) keeps getting excluded; Not invited/informed to group hangout while they're talking smack behind his back. And the "unofficial leader" of the group actually made a whole new group chat, inviting everyone (myself included) except Randy without his knowledge.
在我上大學(xué)的第一年，我有一群朋友（算上我七個人）。我們經(jīng)常一起出去玩，并且我們也有個“群聊”，會在里面聊從課程到隨便什么東西。一年之后，我發(fā)現(xiàn)有一個人（就叫他蘭迪吧）總是被排出去；一起出去玩的時候不邀請他，還在背后說他的壞話。并且這個團(tuán)體的“非官方領(lǐng)袖”真的建了一個新的群聊，把除了蘭迪之外的所有人（包括我）都邀請了進(jìn)去，他本人并不知情。
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我知道這是什么感受，我在中學(xué)時經(jīng)歷過這種事情，真的很糟糕。我此后就沒有再和他們一起出去玩過，但是我開始和蘭迪一起出去。他是個挺怪的人，但他的心地非常善良。我們已經(jīng)當(dāng)了六年多的朋友了，他仍然幫助著我。
Good for you to be his friend! Most people would have been to cowardly to go against the group. I’m proud of you.
你能當(dāng)他的朋友很棒！絕大多數(shù)人可能都不敢和自己的群體反著來。我為你感到自豪。
原創(chuàng)翻譯：龍騰網(wǎng) http://mintwatchbillionaireclub.com 轉(zhuǎn)載請注明出處
有太多人看著其他人被排除出小團(tuán)體或是被霸凌，但他們自己什么都不敢做，因?yàn)榭謶只蚴且驗(yàn)楹ε滤麄冏约阂脖慌懦狻?/b>
Whenever we were supposed to hang out something came up and that something was hanging out with other mutual "friends"
只要我們打算出去玩，就一定會發(fā)生什么事情讓他去不了，而這個事情其實(shí)是和其他共同的“朋友”出去玩。
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Yes! My “best friend” in high school used to do this to me all the time. On Wednesday, I’d ask if she wanted to see a movie Friday night. She’d always say maybe, if I can get out of doing whatever with my parents. Come Monday I’d hear her talking about how great the movie was. Apparently, last minute her parents said she didn’t have to go and miraculously a group of people called right then and asked her to see the same movie. She’d always say “I figured you made other plans” when I confronted her about it. In reality, she’d just wait to see what the better option was and pick on Friday. God that pissed me off.
沒錯！我高中時“最好的朋友”以前一直會對我做這種事。在周三，我會問她周五晚上要不要一起去看電影。她總是說也許吧，假如我能不去和家長一起做什么什么事的話。等到周一，我會聽見她跟別人聊那個電影有多好看。顯然到了最后時刻她的家長突然跟她說她不用去了，然后奇跡般地出現(xiàn)了一群人立刻給她打電話讓她去看同一部電影。我跟她對峙的時候，她總是跟我說“我以為你有其他打算”。事實(shí)上，她只是在等有沒有更好的選項(xiàng)，然后到周五那天挑一個。天哪這真的讓我非常憤怒。
This is the worst. I remember being in high school and trying to make plans with people for the weekend and getting responses to the effect of, "I'll see what else is going on this weekend before I commit to this idea." Once or twice? Alright. But when it's every time you just sort of quit trying after a while
這太糟糕了。我記得在高中的時候我嘗試和別人制定周末的計劃，得到的回答總是類似于“我看看這周末還有什么要做的，然后我再決定要不要去你這個?！币粌纱蔚故菦]問題。不過如果每次都是這個后果的話，那就沒有詢問的必要了。
I asked my ex bff to take the day off for St. Patrick's day since we always celebrate together. She did. I reminded her a couple days before to finalize what we would do. Her response was "Oh I made plans with X. You could come meet us for a drink I guess."
我問我之前最好的朋友在圣帕特里克節(jié)請一天假一起玩，因?yàn)槲覀冎懊磕甓歼@么做。她答應(yīng)了。那天之前的幾天，我提醒她決定一下我們要做什么。她的回答是“哦我和X有約了。我猜在那之后你可以過來跟我們喝一杯?！?/b>
我說不用了，然后在我的腦海中這段友誼就結(jié)束了。她從來都沒主動接觸過我。結(jié)果我在她的生命中并不重要。
Man, this sounds like my “friends”. I work strange hours and a lot of weekends so I let the friends know that I’m around a particular Saturday weeks in advance to meet up for drinks/movie/ etc and they always flake at the last minute. Find out afterwards they have gone out with other friends. So now I don’t bother. And I don’t have a lot of friends to begin with. Man it’s lonely
天哪，這聽起來就像我的“朋友們”。我工作的時間比較奇怪，有很多周末我也得工作，所以我經(jīng)常提前讓我的朋友們知道有哪個周六我是有空的，我們可以一起去喝酒，看電影等等，但他們總是在最后一分鐘拒絕。結(jié)果他們是和其他朋友出去了。所以現(xiàn)在我也懶得管了。并且我本來也沒有多少朋友。天哪太孤獨(dú)了。
When I was babysitting her kids things were going great. We would hangout all the time...have movie nights and just talk and chill. But the second she no longer needed a babysitter was the second I got kicked to the curb. No explanation...not even a text back. Some people will act like your best friend until they no longer need you. Their loss though.
在我給她看孩子的時候，一切都還算不錯。我們會經(jīng)常出去玩……晚上看電影，聊聊天放松一下。但在她不再需要人看孩子的時候，我就立刻被打入冷宮了。沒有任何解釋……甚至連短信也沒再給我發(fā)過。有些人會一直演得像你最好的朋友，直到他們不再需要你的那一刻。雖然這是他們的損失。
Yep, this happened to me, but more generally. Had a "friend" who would only contact me when she needed something, but she was pretty sly about it in the beginning (inviting me over to hang and then bringing up the favor organically, like oh we don't have anyone to watch the dog next weekend, or I want to move this bed but it's so heavy, etc). After a while it got more egregious and obvious - only calling to ask to use my truck or dog sit. I'd politely say I wasn't available and eventually she stopped calling. She still texts every now and then to "catch up" (she tried that a few times in the past and it was always followed by a request) despite my no longer responding. To this day I cringe when someone says "Hi Friend!", her freakin catchphrase.
沒錯，這種事情也發(fā)生在我的身上過，但也挺普遍的。曾經(jīng)有過一個“朋友”，只有她需要什么東西的時候她才會聯(lián)系我，但她一開始對此還是挺隱晦的（邀請我過去玩，然后一點(diǎn)也不唐突地提出要幫忙的事情，比如哦我們下周沒有人幫忙看狗了，或者我想搬這個但是太重了，等等）。過了一陣子就越來越明顯、越糟糕了——只有在用到我的卡車或者需要我看狗的時候才給我打電話。我禮貌地跟她說我沒時間，最后她就不再打電話了。她仍然會偶爾給我發(fā)個短信跟我“聯(lián)絡(luò)一下”（之前她試過幾次，后面跟著的總是要求），盡管我再也不回她了。直到今天，有人說“嗨，朋友！”的時候我都會嚇得一激靈，這是她的口頭禪。
When I was in school, all my friends and I did different A levels.
在我上學(xué)的時候，我的朋友和我讀的是不同的科目。
盡管我們每天都在上不同的課，他們都會等待彼此下課然后一起去吃午餐，但他們每次都會把我給忘了，就比如我下課的時候他們不在門口，所以我得自己吃午餐。
然后他們吃完午餐回來，跟我說他們以為我和他們在一起呢。
我是唯一一個他們沒等過的。
在我們畢業(yè)之后，我只見過他們中的一個人，她已經(jīng)忘了我的名字了。
所以這就很糟糕。
That happened to me. One time my friends all sat at a lunch table that was full and I was sat on one that was completely empty and so I asked them to come sit by me and they said no. Those people suck.
我也遇見過這種事。有一次我的朋友們?nèi)谝粋€餐桌旁邊，那個餐桌已經(jīng)滿了。于是我找了一個完全空蕩的餐桌，叫他們過來和我一起吃，他們說不去。這幫人太爛了。
When my phone got stolen and I lost their phone numbers. Mine stayed the same, but we just never talked again.
我的手機(jī)被偷了，他們的手機(jī)號都沒了。我的手機(jī)號從沒變過，但我們再也沒打過電話。
When my Apple account got compromised and I lost my backup when I changed phones I lost all of my numbers. I haven’t gotten a text or call from any of my friends since. That was 5 years ago.
在我的蘋果賬號被盜了，我換手機(jī)丟了備份之后，我的手機(jī)號碼全沒了。我在此之后再也沒接到過任何一個朋友的短信或電話。那是五年前了。
My phone number hasn't changed in decades. No one seems to have it for some reason.
我的手機(jī)號碼已經(jīng)有幾十年都沒變過了。不知道為什么，沒人有我的手機(jī)號。
When I traded in my truck for a smaller more eco friendly vehicle. Communication plummeted now that i can’t haul furniture around, assist with moving as much, dispose of garbage.. etc.
我把我的卡車換成一個小一些的、更環(huán)保的車子之后。和朋友們的聯(lián)系一下就少了，因?yàn)楝F(xiàn)在我沒辦法到處運(yùn)家具、幫忙搬家、扔垃圾了。
When they stopped contacting me when I stopped drinking
當(dāng)我戒酒之后他們就不再聯(lián)系我的時候。
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I feel this. Used to have countless friends. Went out all the time. Lost control of myself and quit. Friends stopped calling. Now I’m a weird eccentric who hangs out in the woods in all my free time. Things are better this way. I have a couple friends who stuck around and the girl of my dreams. That’s all I need.
我感同身受。曾經(jīng)有很多朋友。經(jīng)常一起出去玩。我對自己失去控制了，就退出去了。朋友們不再打電話了?，F(xiàn)在我是個閑暇時刻就會鉆進(jìn)森林里的怪咖。我覺得這樣更好。我有幾個一直在我身邊的朋友，也有我夢想中的女孩。這就是我需要的一切了。
When you stop going to the bar you no longer exist to those who live that life. It messed with my head for awhile but I get it now.
當(dāng)你不再去酒吧的時候，對于那些過著那種人生的人來說，你就不再存在了。我曾經(jīng)有好一陣子都搞不明白，但現(xiàn)在我懂了。
When I went through a divorce and was down to $700...most difficult period and weeded out all those who “friended” me for my generosity because I was well settled. Started over and have like 2 true good friends.
當(dāng)我剛剛離婚，口袋里只有700美元的時候……這是最困難的一段時間，并且那些因?yàn)槲抑暗目犊臀摇敖Y(jié)交”的朋友們也全都離開了。從頭開始之后，我有兩個真正的好朋友。
I was invited to the bachelorette party for one of the friends in this group. While at the party, I figured out that I was the only person not invited to the wedding. I had been invited to the party because they needed another person to chip in for expenses.
圈子里有個朋友開（婚禮前的）單身派對，把我請了過去。參加派對的時候，我發(fā)現(xiàn)我是唯一一個沒有收到婚禮請柬的人。他們把我請過去是因?yàn)樗麄兿攵鄟硪粋€人平攤預(yù)算
What kind of human scum does that?
什么人渣會做出這種事情？
It's amazing what people will do to get what they want because they "deserve" a perfect wedding experience.
人們?yōu)榱诉_(dá)到自己想要的情況而做出的事情真的令人震驚，只是因?yàn)樗麄冇X得自己“值得”一個完美的婚禮體驗(yàn)。
My ex did that shit; would boggle my mind every time.
我的前任就做過這種事情，我每次都想不通。
她會先計劃一個12人的活動，然后邀請所有她希望到場的人。假如有人去不了或者得放鴿子，她就邀請別的她不愿意一起出去玩的人。她寧愿邀請自己不喜歡的人，也不愿意把活動規(guī)?？s小一點(diǎn)。
Something similar happened to me--there was a minimum group rate for 16 and they needed a 16th person.
類似的事情也在我的身上發(fā)生過——那個活動最少需要16個人參加，他們需要第16個人。
然后在活動的前一天晚上他們跟我說活動取消了——事實(shí)上是他們有一個之前說來不了的朋友突然能來了，于是他們邀請那個朋友過去，然后把我給踢了。
Apparently I didn’t realize I was on a different tier of friendship with my so called friend. My friend was getting married and I didn’t get an invite, which was fine since her wedding was a destination wedding in a different country.
顯然我并沒有意識到我和那個所謂的朋友之間的友誼的等級并不一樣。我的那個朋友要結(jié)婚了，但我并沒有收到請柬，但這倒還好，因?yàn)樗幕槎Y是在另一個國家辦的。
之后我參加了一個過夜的派對，她辦的。當(dāng)時總共有9個女孩。她們一直在那里聊單身派對，然后開始傳閱那天的照片。我才發(fā)現(xiàn)我是唯一一個沒有收到邀請的。讓我覺得有點(diǎn)糟糕。
I am a firm believer that you don't talk about a party in front of someone unless they have been invited (or unless you are willing to remedy the situation by extending an invite then and there). I would maintain that the same rules should apply here, even though the party in question already happened.
我非常堅定地相信除非你面前的這個人收到了派對的請柬，否則你就不在他的面前聊這件事（或者你愿意立刻邀請他加入這個派對）。我覺得這個規(guī)則在這里同樣適用，即便這個派對已經(jīng)發(fā)生了。
還有一點(diǎn)想說的，假如你想要當(dāng)場邀請他的話，那么你得讓自己給他一種你【真的希望他也能來】的感覺。熱情一點(diǎn)。因?yàn)橹挥幸患卤葲]有收到邀請更羞辱人，那就是你收到的邀請是“哦，呃，好，你也可以來……假如你想來的話”。
One friend stopped replying to my texts right after we graduated from college. Like the same week we graduated. So... I was pretty much just a study buddy that they kept close to keep me helping them.
我有個朋友在我大學(xué)畢業(yè)之后就不再回我的消息了。就在我們畢業(yè)的那個禮拜。所以……我基本上就只是一個他們?yōu)榱俗屛乙恢睅退麄儗W(xué)習(xí)而搞好關(guān)系的學(xué)伴而已。
This is basically all of the friends I made at various points in college. As soon as we don't see each other 3x a week, they fade away. I get they're busy but I didn't realize making lasting friendships as an adult would be so difficult.
這基本上是我在大學(xué)交到過的所有朋友。只要我們沒辦法再每星期見三次面，他們就會消失。我以為他們很忙，但我沒有意識到成年之后再交長遠(yuǎn)的朋友有這么難。
It is SO hard to make friends as an adult. I moved to a new city about a year and a half ago and still have zero friends. This one girl was/is trying to be friends with me but only because she wants someone to emotionally dump on. Other than that, I've had a couple "friend dates" to meet people and they usually just stop texting back. I feel like most adults already have their friend group, and it is almost impossible to get into those.
成年之后再交朋友真的太難了。我一年半之前搬到了一座新的城市，現(xiàn)在我仍然沒有朋友。有個女孩之前想和我交朋友，但她只是想找一個情緒的垃圾桶。除此之外，我還參加過幾次“聯(lián)誼會”和別人見面，但他們通常之后就沒再回過消息。我感覺絕大多數(shù)成年人都已經(jīng)有他們自己的朋友圈了，再想加入進(jìn)去是非常困難的。
Same thing happened to me. Was friends with so many people during college and the last 3 weeks was an unpaid work placement which we had to go back to the school to hand in our paperwork, not one of them spoke to me or would even answer me if I said something to them. Became clear that I was only valuable to them when I was helping them. Class awards had me down as "most willing to help classmates"
同樣的事情我也經(jīng)歷過。在上大學(xué)的時候和很多人都是朋友，最后三周是無償實(shí)習(xí)，我們得回到學(xué)校交材料，根本沒有人和我說話，甚至我和他們說話他們也不會回答我。顯然我只有在幫他們忙的時候才是對他們有價值的。班級給了我一個“最樂于助人獎”。
"most willing to help classmates"
“最樂于助人獎”
這真的是一個能交到很多朋友的標(biāo)簽，因?yàn)榭偸悄芪絼e人。但這也能成為一種文體，因?yàn)槟憧偸堑觅|(zhì)疑你交到的每一個朋友。簡直就像是因?yàn)槟銦嵝纳屏?，所以你得多加小心。這就是我們現(xiàn)在的世界。
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唯一積極的方面在于，你可以很快地識別出哪些朋友是假的，因?yàn)樗麄儠o聲無息地消失，而那些真正的朋友則會一直在你身邊。
I remember we got given one assignment in Uni, put into random groups. I was in a group with literally nobody I knew, all I had were email addresses. I tried reaching out many times, but no response. So I did the entire thing myself. Then, at the end of the year, you were told to assign percentages to each other based on how much you felt they had contributed. Bastards gave themselves all huge percentages, and me nothing.
我記得我大學(xué)的時候有過一個小組作業(yè)，隨機(jī)分組。我在的那個組我誰都不認(rèn)識，只有電子郵件地址。我給他們發(fā)了很多次郵件，但都沒有回應(yīng)。所以我自己把作業(yè)給做完了。然后那年年末，你得根據(jù)貢獻(xiàn)程度給彼此打分，那幫混蛋給他們自己巨高的分?jǐn)?shù)，我一分沒得。
編輯：回復(fù)一下后來發(fā)生了什么，沒錯，我質(zhì)疑了。問題在于，是他們聯(lián)合起來反駁我。所以他們四個人說一樣，我一個人說另一樣。但學(xué)校來問我們的時候，我就覺得他們是商量好了一起否認(rèn)我說的話。他們妥協(xié)了，說我做了很多事情，但他們?nèi)匀唤o自己邀功。我記得最后的數(shù)字是我25%，他們每個人18.75%……不理想，但他們基本都在學(xué)年結(jié)束之前掛科了。
This happened to my sister. She kept all emails digitally and printed everything off. It was 100% one sided, they tried the same trick and she produced all the evidence to show she did everything all on her own and they didn't even respond to any of her communication.
我姐姐也遇到過這種事。她保存了所有郵件的電子副本，并且都打印了下來。剩下幾個人也肯定聯(lián)合起來了，并且他們試過同樣的招數(shù)，但是然后我姐姐展示了她的證據(jù)，一切都是她做的，他們甚至沒有回復(fù)任何通信。
他們組剩下的都掛科了，她是唯一一個過了的。
Finding out they have an inner-circle group chat but i'm the only one not in it
發(fā)現(xiàn)他們有一個內(nèi)部小群，我是唯一一個不在里面的。
Something similar happened to me. We were all set to go enjoy music at a local establishment. I talked to multiple people from the group, confirming meeting time. I got there and no one else was there. Eventually they all showed up together. Found out they had been out all day together shopping/drinking and I was the only one not clued into that part. I had been looking forward to the night but ended up feeling lower than I had ever felt.
類似的事情我也經(jīng)歷過。我們本來是要一起去當(dāng)?shù)氐囊魳饭?jié)聽音樂的。我跟組里的不少人都說過了，確認(rèn)了碰頭的時間。我到那之后發(fā)現(xiàn)沒人在。最后他們一起出現(xiàn)了。結(jié)果他們一整天都在一起逛街、喝酒，我是唯一一個不在的。我之前很期待那天晚上，但結(jié)果我比去之前還難過。
Same. I found out that they had two groups- one with me and one without. They never used the one with me though.
我也一樣。我發(fā)現(xiàn)他們有兩個群，一個有我的一個沒我的。只不過他們從來沒用過有我的那個。
I wouldn't say I have fake friends but I am definitely the periphery friend. The majority of the time if there isn't enough tickets or space in the car for everyone to go do something, I'm the one who gets cut out. It doesn't bother me much but I wish they would be more mindful when talking to me about "things we have done." "Remember when we went to see XXX? Wasn't that fun?" Well, no because I wasn't invited. In those situations it usually gets awkward or they say "Hey, we would have invited you if we had the tickets, space, etc."
我倒沒有假朋友，但我肯定是邊緣的朋友。大多數(shù)時候，假如大家一起出去玩，結(jié)果票不夠了，或者車子沒地方了，那么我肯定是被踢出去的那個。我倒是不太在意，但是我挺希望他們在跟我說“我們之前一起做過的事”的時候走走腦子?！坝浀梦覀円黄鹑タ碭XX的那次嗎？是不是特別有意思？”呃，其實(shí)不記得，因?yàn)槟谴文銈儧]請我去。在這種情況下一般都會變得很尷尬，或者他們說“嘿，假如我們有多余的票，地方等等，我們就請你去了?！?/b>
This friend, I'll call her Mary, had kids the same age as mine. We got together for play dates pretty often and our kids would sleep over at each others' houses for weekends. I liked Mary. We would often visit and talk while our kids were playing. One weekend, her kids had stayed at my house. The older one called her mom to see when she was coming to pick her up. I was in the room, and the kid put the phone on speaker for some reason. Mary told the kid what time she would be there and added, "You had better be waiting outside. If I have to go in and spend the next hour talking to rivertam, I'm going to be really pissed."
這個朋友，我叫她瑪麗吧，她家孩子跟我家的差不多大。我們家孩子經(jīng)常一起玩，周末的時候會去彼此家里過夜。我挺喜歡瑪麗的。在孩子們玩的時候，我們會互相串門聊天。有一個周末，她家的孩子來我家玩。大的那個給媽媽打電話，問她什么時候接自己回家。我當(dāng)時在房間里，那個孩子開了免提。瑪麗跟孩子說了她什么時候過去，然后加了一句，“你最好在外面等著，不然假如我得進(jìn)門去再跟她聊一個小時，我可就真的要生氣了?！?/b>
在那之后我們就沒再共處過太長時間。
編輯：很多人給我發(fā)來一樣的問題和評論，所以我在這里統(tǒng)一回復(fù)一下。
我反應(yīng)過度了嗎？瑪麗是不是那天過得不太好，只是不想說話？以及我最喜歡的，“樓主，是不是你自己太讓人受不了？”
在我不小心聽到我的那位朋友對她的孩子說的話之后，我做了這些事：
我不再發(fā)起和她的聯(lián)系，也不再有空為她做各種事情。我們接送孩子的時候，我只是笑一笑，對她揮揮手。我讓孩子們自己計劃串門玩。我不再騰出時間幫她打理她的花園，或是在她和別的朋友出門的時候看護(hù)她家的孩子（他們喜歡長跑，我不太喜歡）。除了需要什么東西之外，她從沒主動聯(lián)系過我。一直以來都是這樣，只不過我沒有意識到?！坝颜x”最終自己慢慢消退了。所以我猜一開始也不是什么友誼。我只是沒有意識到，直到她讓我睜開眼睛。
I think this is especially shitty... Mom friends are hard enough to find, then to realize that they didn't even want to hang with you. And because your kiddos are friends you don't necessarily want to blow that up by calling the fake mom friend out.
我覺得這種情況尤為糟糕……媽友本來就很難找，意識到他們甚至不想和你一起玩更令人難過。而且因?yàn)槟銈兗业暮⒆痈麄兗液⒆邮桥笥?，你還不能直接和那個虛假的媽友斷交。
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我試過和其他媽媽交朋友，但失敗了三次，我已經(jīng)受夠了。
I still have one, even though our kids are grown. I remember meeting her and just feeling so comfortable. No bullshit. A lot of kindness and compassion. She's the kind of friend that you can lose contact with for a while, then pick up again as if no time has gone past. Our 4 kids (2 hers and 2 mine) have an apartment together (they're in college). It was something the kids put together on their own and they're doing really well.
我還有一個，盡管我們的孩子都已經(jīng)長大了。我記得我和她相遇的時候就非常舒適。沒有廢話。善意和熱情。她是那種你可以有一陣子不聯(lián)系，但再聯(lián)系上仍然好像時光沒有流逝一樣。我們的四個孩子（她家的兩個和我家的兩個）一起住一間公寓（他們上大學(xué)）。這是孩子們自己的友誼，并且他們成長得非常好。
When you lose your 'worth' to them. For instance, you are going through a dark period in your life, then they just leave like you are a worthless bag of dust.
當(dāng)你失去你自己對他們的價值，比如你在度過人生中比較黑暗的一段時期，他們就會像一團(tuán)沒有用處的塵土一樣把你丟在地上。
When I realized I was the one always calling. Then I stopped and "friends" disappeared.
當(dāng)我意識到我是那個一直打電話的人的時候。我不再打電話了，“朋友”們也就消失了。
When my long time "friend" called me and said "Hey can you hang out? No one else can."
在我交了很久的“朋友”給我打電話，跟我說“嘿你能出來玩嗎？別人都不行?！?/b>
My so-called 'friends' invited me to a party, and then at the last moment, they texted the group that no one's coming and the party is canceled. Well.. they had the party that day. Everyone went there. They just had decided they didn't want me there cause I was boring and not a fun person, so they told me that there was no party happening. It hurt a lot, it was a terrible day for me.
我所謂的“朋友們”邀請我去一個派對，然后在最后一刻，他們在群里發(fā)消息說沒人來了，派對不辦了。其實(shí)……他們那天還是辦了派對。別人都去了。他們只是決定不想讓我過去，因?yàn)槲液軣o聊，沒意思。所以他們告訴我沒有派對。很令人難過，對我來說是非常糟糕的一天。
When you try to open up and try to share a genuine conversation about something going on in your life and all they can do it crack jokes and try to get you to go out drinking with them. Made me realize how surface level many “friendships” really are.
當(dāng)你嘗試打開自己的心靈，和朋友們分享一段你的人生中正在發(fā)生的事情，進(jìn)行一段深入的對話的時候，他們能做的只有講笑話和讓你出去和他們喝酒。讓我意識到我有很多的“友誼”是多么膚淺。
然后還有與之相反的友誼——高一的時候認(rèn)識的三個朋友。十五年來一直都是朋友。即便我們都結(jié)婚了，生了孩子，去了不同的區(qū)域甚至國家，我們?nèi)匀灰恢北３终呗?lián)系。但是只要我們能湊到一個小時之內(nèi)的距離，我們就一定會一起吃個早飯，一起聊一聊（通常會變成三個多小時的對話）?？赡芤荒曛荒馨l(fā)生一兩次，但是我仍然認(rèn)為這些人是我最好的朋友。這是真正的友誼，我很幸運(yùn)我能擁有這種朋友。
I'm still best friends with my best friend from 2nd grade. We live on opposite ends of the country now. We make it a point to visit each other once a year, sometimes where we live, sometimesa random new city (we went to Portland, OR last year). Almost 30 years of friendship. We've been there for each other through all the hard times, and i get to be there for his wedding next year.
我和我二年級時交到的朋友仍然是最好的朋友。我們現(xiàn)在住在國家的兩頭。我們每年都會彼此探望一次，有時是我們住的地方，有時是完全沒去過的城市（去年我們?nèi)チ瞬ㄌ靥m）?？烊甑挠颜x。我們經(jīng)歷了很多困難，但仍然在一起，并且明年我會去參加他的婚禮。
當(dāng)你是個孩子的時候，交朋友是件很容易的事，但隨著年齡增長會越來越難。你的人生總會發(fā)生各種各樣的事情，讓你越來越難以和別人一起打發(fā)時間。但你會為那些真正重要的人騰出時間的。
When they abandoned me when I was going through a rough time. When I spent years listening and supporting them. When I have my first true moment where I am not coping and need support, they are nowhere to be seen and bitching behind my back. This is when I realised my high school friends never had grown up past high school. Luckily I had other friends. Just not a large girl group like that. But I can actually say that every friend I have I know they have my back and won't judge me if I am not always happy. And the same for me. I have always had very high expectations of myself as a friend and I feel that everyone I call a friend is someone that brings something special to my life. That is worth more than having a huge group of bitchy girlfriends who turn on each other when they are out of the room. It took me a long time to realize it though.
在我經(jīng)歷一段非常難過的時間之后她們拋棄了我。我?guī)啄暌詠硪恢瘪雎犞齻兊谋г?，為她們提供著支持。在我第一次真的需要支持的時候，我卻找不到她們的人，在我背后說閑話。那時我才意識到，我的高中朋友們在高中畢業(yè)之后就再也沒長大。幸運(yùn)的是我還有其他朋友。只不過不是那樣一大群女生。但我可以說我認(rèn)識的每個朋友都支持我，并且不會因?yàn)槲译y過而批判我。對我來說也是一樣。我對于我自己作為朋友的樣子總是有非常高的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，并且我覺得每一個被我稱為朋友的人都是一個能給我的生命帶來一些特別的東西的人。這比起擁有一群只會誰不在就說誰的閑話的小閨蜜要有價值的多。但對我來說花了很久我才意識到這一點(diǎn)。