你有沒有讓整個電影院的人哄堂大笑過(上)

Thomas Murphy
No - but my niece did when she was about six or seven.
At the time, she was heavily into Harry Potter. We used to read to her from when she was about three years old. It didn’t matter whether it was Mummy, Grandpa or me: she would demand to know who was reading to her that bedtime and then quite literally drag the poor victim up the stairs so she could hop into bed and listen to the next part of the story. Most nights, she would be smartly hopped out of bed again to brush her teeth, go to the loo and start all over again … but that was a different drama.
Anyway, she rarely lasted more than two pages before falling asleep. What used to astound us though was that we would usually read a third page to her just to make sure she was properly fast asleep. The next morning, we would then be faced with a barrage of questions … about page three! How she did it remains a family mystery to this very day.、

我沒有，但我侄女在大約六、七歲的時候有過。
當(dāng)時的她非常喜歡哈利波特。
從她三歲開始，我們就經(jīng)常讀書給她聽，不管是媽媽、爺爺還是我，她會要求選一個人給她講睡前故事，然后將這個可憐的受害者拖上樓，這樣她就可以躺在床上聽完故事的下一部分。
很多個晚上，她會很聰明地再次跳下床去刷牙，上廁所，然后重新開始找人講故事，但那就是另一出戲了。
不過她很快就能睡著，很少能堅持聽完兩頁故事，但我們通常會給她讀到第三頁，以確保她能快速睡著。令我們驚訝的是，第二天早上，我們就會面臨一連串的問題，關(guān)于第三頁的問題！她是如何做到的？
直到今天，這仍然是我們家庭的一個未解之謎。
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Eventually, my sister deemed that my niece was old enough to watch the first Harry Potter film. The group consisted of niece, Mum, Grandma and Grandpa. Obviously, as adults, we all know that directors of film adaptations of books have to make compromises and sometimes play fast and loose with plot, characters and speech. Anyone who knows the first Harry Potter film knows that the director made such changes. This was not good enough for my niece however. At one point, some dialogue had been swapped between characters and my niece who - at the age of six or seven - was word perfect on the story started squirming in frustrated annoyance. Eventually, she could take no more. From the front of the balcony, she stood up and shouted: “That’s not right! Ron didn’t say that - Hermione said that! And Harry said xyz not abc”. (As you can imagine, I wasn’t there and it was a very long time ago so forgive the paraphrasing.)
The entire cinema audience was stunned into silence which, according to my parents, lasted for about three seconds but seemed so much longer. Then the place erupted into a sustained roar of laughter and everyone turned to stare at this angry little girl who was apparently wagging her finger at the screen and employing her “cross voice” to upbraid the actors.
My niece is a young woman now and so harder to embarrass than she used to be. Even so, we could make her turn a bright shade of red on cue for a good seven or eight years after that - especially during her early teenage years.

后來，我姐姐認(rèn)為我侄女已經(jīng)到了可以看第一部《哈利-波特》系列電影的年齡，包括外甥女、媽媽、外婆和外公也是這樣想的。
作為成年人，我們都知道，改編書籍的電影導(dǎo)演必須要做出部分妥協(xié)，有時會在情節(jié)、人物和言語上做一些改變。
了解第一部《哈利-波特》電影的人都知道導(dǎo)演做了什么樣的改動，然而這些改動在我侄女看來顯然不夠好。
有一個地方，一些人物之間的對話被調(diào)換了，而我侄女在六七歲的時候已經(jīng)對這個故事很熟悉了，她開始沮喪，惱怒，不停地扭來扭去，最后，她再也忍不住了。
她從座位上站起來，大聲喊道：“這是不對的！羅恩沒有這么說！不是羅恩說的，是赫敏說的!哈利說的是xyz而不是abc?！保憧梢韵胂笠幌?，因為我當(dāng)時不在現(xiàn)場，而且這已經(jīng)是很久以前的事了，所以我的轉(zhuǎn)述不太完整，請不要在意。)
整個電影院的觀眾都被驚呆了，據(jù)我父母說，這種沉默持續(xù)了大約三秒鐘，似乎更長，然后，全場爆發(fā)出持續(xù)不斷的笑聲，每個人都轉(zhuǎn)過身來盯著這個憤怒的小女孩，她在對著屏幕搖手指，用她的 "怒聲 "責(zé)備演員們。
我侄女現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)是個年輕的女人了，不會再像以前那樣容易出丑了，但是在那之后的七、八年里，我們?nèi)钥梢噪S時逗得她羞紅了臉--尤其是在她的青少年時期。
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Gina Kelly, former Worked for 9 Years in the Prison Service
It was the year 2000, my partner and I were taking a much deserved break from the rigors of life by treating ourselves to a movie.
With work, family and “l(fā)ife” causing the usual stresses and strains, it was very rare that we ventured out just the two of us. We both loved the cinema and I was a huge fan of Harrison Ford so we decided to pay for premier seating at the multiplex cinema to see “What Lies Beneath”.
We started by ensuring that we had an adequately sized coke each, a couple of hot dogs (ketchup AND mustard for me please), and as many M&M’s that I was able to stuff into my purse…yum!
We made our way into the theatre, settled down in our comfy seats and started our wonderful feast. By the time the trailers had finished so had the hot dogs and most of the M&M’s. Then the big feature starts. Menacing music…ooooooh good, sounds scary!

Gina Kelly，曾在監(jiān)獄工作了9年
事情發(fā)生在2000年，我和我的搭檔從艱苦的生活中解脫出來，獲得了我們應(yīng)得的休息時間，于是我們決定犒勞自己，去看一場電影。
由于工作、家庭和 "生活 "造成的壓力和緊迫，當(dāng)只有我們兩個人的時候，我們很少會出去，但我們都喜歡看電影，我是哈里森-福特的超級粉絲，所以我們決定買票去電影院看《謊言背后》。
我們先每人準(zhǔn)備了一杯足夠大的可樂，幾根熱狗（加了番茄醬和芥末），再往包里塞滿了M&M巧克力豆，太好吃了！
我們走進了電影院，在舒適的座位上坐下，開始享受我們美妙的盛宴。
當(dāng)電影的鋪墊部分結(jié)束時，熱狗和大部分M&M豆也都吃完了。
電影到了高潮部分，背景音樂很恐怖，聽起來很嚇人！
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Then, without warning, the sound disappears!!! Being British, the whole theatre just sits, staring at the screen! After a few minutes…still no sound. This was becoming annoying as there seemed to be quite a lot going on in the film. You could hear people starting to get annoyed, shuffling in their seat, the odd turning of heads to look back at the projectionists window in the hope that they could telepathically communicate their displeasure.
I’m sure everyone, like me, was thinking…”well surely once they realise there’s a problem, they’ll start again won’t they?”
Then thankfully the sound returned, just as Michelle Pfieffer says to Harrison…”I don’t know what’s going on”, to which I responded in a very loud frustrated voice…”Neither do we!”.
The whole theatre erupted into laughter. I stood up and took a bow!
Needless to say, that was the most enjoyable part of the film…they didn’t start it over and we all sat there for the rest of the feature not really knowing what it was all about!

然后，毫無預(yù)兆的，音樂停止了!
整個電影院的人都坐在那里盯著屏幕看，幾分鐘后，還是沒有聲音，這就很煩人了，因為此時電影中應(yīng)該正在發(fā)生很多事情，人們開始惱怒，在他們的座位上晃動，不解的轉(zhuǎn)頭看向放映員的窗口，像在以心靈感應(yīng)的方式傳達(dá)他們的不滿。
我相信每個人都像我一樣，內(nèi)心在想："如果他們意識到出了問題，他們就會重新開始放映，不是嗎？"
然后很幸運，聲音恢復(fù)了，電影里米歇爾-普菲勒對哈里森說： "我不知道發(fā)生了什么？"，然后我用非常沮喪且大聲的聲音回答到： "我們也不知道！"
整個電影院爆笑，于是我站起來向大家鞠了一躬。
毋庸置疑，那是整場影片中最令人愉快的一部分，因為電影沒有重新開始放映，我們坐在那兒稀里糊涂的看完了后面的電影，什么也沒看明白。

Kyle Phoenix, Author (2003-present)
I don’t watch a lot of TV, barely any so that means that the movies are a big entertainment treat for me.
I like to sneak in food (I’ve done Chinese food and even a whole beef ribs and potato and Pepsi from BBQs. Generally I stick with a hot pastrami hero and a Pepsi. Yes, I still buy popcorn.). The movies are a mini-event for me.
Years ago a friend worked at one of those theaters that shows older films and kept inviting me. So I went one weekend. They were showing the classic action thriller Seven with Morgan Freeman and Brad Pitt. This was some time after it had come out but I had yet to see it.
I generally avoid war movies, horror movies and comedies but this time I made an exception—-going in, knowing it might be gory.
It starts rolling along and the theater is about 200 people packed and I can’t help it.
I start laughing.
At all the “wrong” times.
The film is sort of darkly………HILARIOUS.
Each murder/mayhem is more and more far reaching, broad strokes, insane.

Kyle Phoenix，作家（2003年至今）
我?guī)缀醪辉趺纯措娨?，看電影是我最主要的娛樂方式?br /> 我喜歡偷偷的帶吃的去電影院（我?guī)н^中餐，甚至還帶過土豆燉牛小排和可樂罐燒烤，但一般來說，我只帶五香熏牛和百事可樂，還有爆米花)，看電影對我來說就是一場小型活動。
幾年前，一個朋友在那種放老電影的電影院工作，一直邀請我去，于是我在某個周末去看了場老電影。
電影院正在放映摩根-弗里曼和布拉德-皮特的經(jīng)典動作驚悚片《七宗罪》，影片上映很久了，但我還沒有去看過。
我一般不看戰(zhàn)爭片、恐怖片和喜劇片，但這次破例了，盡管知道會有血腥的片段，但我還是去看了。
電影進度不斷往前走，電影院里大約有200人，我終于忍不住了，我開始笑了，在所有不該笑的時候。
這部電影有點黑暗，但又很滑稽。
每一次謀殺/傷害都是越來越重，越來越瘋狂。

When he kills the fashion model and she has the choice of suicide-pills or calling for help—-the cutting off of her part of her face meaning the end of her career but she can save herself from bleeding to death——”He cut off her nose to spite her face.” My light outbursts and chuckles became a full on guffaw.
That shit is funny.
Now my group of friends is tickled by my laughter every time I laugh, they can’t help but laugh too. Soon the entire theater is waiting and then bursting out laughing when I do.
Okay, okay, okay…….the big field, the cops with Kevin Spacey and a Fed Ex truck pulls up. A wisp of blood hair comes form the opened box.
Lost it. I lost it.
I lost it because on one level the movie is brilliant in its’ insanity—-from a writing/writer’s perspective and two, it’s further insane because everyone is playing this film in a dreary way, as deeply serious.
But the whole serial killer/Deadly Sins angle is like watching this serial killer artist paint a mad tapestry that gets more and more insanely creative and destructive.
But it’s not simply gory for gore’s sake—-it’s this creative gore. Truly creative. And has a deep pique of sardonic humor to it. The Mozart of serial killers is deeply playing this game with the cops, the world and the movie itself, with the audience.
So the movie ends, on a wild note for me, and we all file out and people are following me, crowding around to get to know me, to ask what and why I found things funny if they didn’t directly get it when I laughed. One couple, with a stroller and baby, is like didn’t I think laughing ruined the mood? And I’m like: “What mood? Serial killer, manic gore and carnage in your head mood? And how are you bringing a toddler to this?”

他想殺死一位時裝模特，此時模特有兩種選擇，一種是自己服用安眠藥自殺，另一種是尋求幫助，她已經(jīng)被切掉了臉上的一個部位，雖然這也意味著她的事業(yè)結(jié)束了，但求助可以避免自己血盡而亡。
“他割掉她的鼻子是因為討厭她這張臉?！蔽宜查g爆笑，這真的太好笑了。
現(xiàn)在我的這群朋友們都被我的笑聲干擾了，每次我一笑，他們也忍不住要笑，很快，整個影院的人都在等，等著和我一起爆笑。
好吧，高潮來了，警察與凱文-史派西在一輛聯(lián)邦快遞卡車前停了下來，一縷血絲從打開的快遞箱里飄了出來。
我笑不出來了。
一方面是因為從編劇的角度來看，這部電影在“瘋狂”方面很出色，另一方面，更瘋狂的是，每個人都在以一種沉悶的方式演繹這部電影，因為它非常嚴(yán)肅。
但從連環(huán)殺手/致命罪犯的角度來看，就像看著連環(huán)殺手藝術(shù)家在創(chuàng)作一張瘋狂的掛毯，越來越瘋狂，越來越具有創(chuàng)造性和破壞性。
但這并不是簡單地為了血腥而血腥，而是一種創(chuàng)造性的血腥，真正的創(chuàng)造性，還帶有強烈的諷刺性的幽默，連環(huán)殺手中的莫扎特正與警察、世界和電影本身以及觀眾一起玩了一個游戲。
電影結(jié)束了，對我來說這就是一個狂野的音符。我們排著隊出來，人們都跟著我，圍在我身邊，想要了解我，他們不理解我為什么要笑，什么地方好笑。
有一對夫婦，推著嬰兒車，孩子坐在車?yán)?，問?“你難道不覺得笑破壞了氣氛嗎？“
我回答說："什么氣氛？連環(huán)殺手，你腦子里滿是血腥屠殺的狂躁情緒?你怎么能把一個蹣跚學(xué)步的孩子帶到這里來?"

See here’s how I see it.
It’s a movie.
It’s fiction. Fiction is NOT real. Fiction is a stretching of real-ity to insane proportions for entertainment’s sake.
Are there real serial killers—-sure, but that’s not what we were in that theater to dwell upon. We entered that space willingly knowing that we were going to see some fiction. With actors. On a giant screen.
One of the reasons why I avoid too much entertainment/TV consumption is because it projects not just false values but because it projects a lot of fiction and fantasy without often pragmatic or reality contextualizations.
By that big word sentence—-I mean just what the couple was demonstrating to me—-you’re invested in this movie being horrible, disgusting, freaking you out” and you bring your child.
Just think about that for a second.
Let’s go into a dark room and watch murder and mayhem. And bring our children!
That’s sort of darkly hilarious too.
You’ve so normed insanity that it’s a family event. Or even more disturbingly, you’ve so normed horrific fictitious projections that you MUST match it’s mood or react as IT intends.

我的看法是這樣的：
這是一部電影，它是虛構(gòu)的，不是真實的，虛構(gòu)即為了娛樂而將真實性推到一個荒唐的地步。
有真實的連環(huán)殺手嗎？當(dāng)然有，但這不是我們在電影院里要糾結(jié)的問題，我們心甘情愿地進入那個空間，知道我們將在一個巨大的屏幕上看到一些虛構(gòu)的東西，還有演員。
我避免過多的娛樂/電視的原因之一是，它不僅傳播了錯誤的價值觀，還傳播了大量的虛構(gòu)和幻想，往往沒有實用性或現(xiàn)實背景。
通過這對夫婦問我的話，可以看出他們對這部電影的投入的情緒是可怕的、惡心的、嚇人的，而且還是帶著孩子一起來的。
請想一想這一點。
我們帶著孩子進入一個黑暗的房間觀看謀殺案件，這也很黑暗且諷刺。
你把觀看一部瘋狂的電影當(dāng)作一個家庭活動，甚至更令人不安的是，你代入了虛構(gòu)的東西，并配合它的情緒或按它的意圖作出了反應(yīng)。

See, I see TV and movies with a detachment. The way you’re detached when you’re in the supermarket and picking fruits and vegetables. Do you ever think THAT green pepper will be offended that I chose THAT one instead? Or do you wonder what the lady next to you is thinking of you for buying 4 and not 3 apples?
I have a TV show so I know all of the science of how video/film projection works and sometimes I’m editing videos and episodes down to the 1–5 second clips—-what’s long enough for something to get into your brain and at the same time you can or cannot recognize it. 30 images per second is generally the speed I’m working in and sometimes I’m shaving off or adding half a second to things. I’m doing this to GET INTO YOUR BRAIN with whatever I am making/creating. The hope is that I stay responsible and conscious but not everyone is doing so.
But the way to defend against shit, and most of it is shit, coming into your brain willy nilly 30x faster than you can consciously process or filter, is to break up the image—-have a portion of your self/brain looking at it in a detached way, seeing and pointing things out—-even laughing.
Sometimes I’m looking at things in a detached writer kind of way where I’m considering the structure of a scene, the actors, the language itself. As a teaching tool I often use clips, never longer than 15 minutes, for students, and if possible I put on the subtitles and closed captioning. This forces the brain to pay a sort of dual attention so that you don't get sucked into to just silent absorption.
Also another thing I personally do is I have videos, films on multiple screens while I’m doing something else so I’m paying partial attention, not the totality of my attention.

你看，我看電視和電影時會有一種超然的感覺，就像你在超市里挑選水果和蔬菜時的態(tài)度一樣，你會考慮青椒因為我選擇了其他的而感到不快嗎？或者你想過你旁邊的女士會因為你買了4個而不是3個蘋果而對你有什么看法嗎？
我有一個電視節(jié)目，所以我知道視頻/電影放映的所有科學(xué)原理，有時我會把視頻和劇集剪輯成1-5秒的片段--能進入人的大腦且被識別的長度。
一般來說，我的工作速度是每秒30張圖片，有時我還會增減半秒的內(nèi)容，我這樣做是為了讓我正在制作/創(chuàng)造的東西能讓你記住，我希望我保持責(zé)任感和自覺，但不是每個人都要這樣做。
但是，大部分垃圾信息會以比你有意識地處理或過濾快30倍的速度隨意進入你的大腦，而抵御這些垃圾的方法就是打破圖像--讓你的一部分自我/大腦以一種超然的方式看待它，看到并指出一些問題，甚至是笑出來。
有時我會以一種超然的作家的思維看待問題，考慮一個場景的結(jié)構(gòu)、演員、語言本身。
我經(jīng)常使用一些片段作為教學(xué)工具，但從不會超過15分鐘，有時候還會加上一些字幕，這迫使人的大腦給予雙重的注意力，這樣你就不會只是沉默的吸收了。
此外，我還有一個習(xí)慣，當(dāng)我在做其他事情時，我會在多個屏幕上播放視頻、電影，這樣我就會分散部分注意力，而不是全部的注意力都集中在一件事上。

What I’m always trying to do is keep THAT at mental bay, force it to slow down, explain itself, show itself to me and go through my Mental Filter. Notice no one talks about that, people generally talk about getting totally absorbed into entertainment.
Seven was funny and creative and I avoid gory films. And the audience laughed at the insanity as I did and with me. But some of what I was laughing at—-was the gullibility of the audience itself.

我一直試圖在精神上保持這種狀態(tài)，并通過我的精神過濾器，迫使它慢下來，解釋自己，向我展示自己。
我注意到?jīng)]有人談?wù)撨@個問題，人們通常都是完全沉浸在娛樂中。
《七宗罪》很有趣，很有創(chuàng)意，但我不喜歡血腥的電影，觀眾們也和我一起笑，和我一樣笑得很瘋狂，但我所嘲笑的一些東西--是觀眾本身的輕信。

Ticiana Tomasi, Former Stage Manager. (1995-present)
Twice. Well… Not a movie theater, just the audience watching a ballet at the theater. I was the stagemanager both times.
First time. In the middle of the show, the whole theater went black. Emergency lights turned on immediately and anyone who works backstage has a torch. I had the curtain dropped, found out what was wrong and gave instructions to the technicians and the dancers and then stepped out to face the audience. We had a full house, so that was about 1000 people in a really bad mood. I explained that it wasn't a problem in the building, but in the neighborhood. No, we didn't have generators. The electrical company had changed names like 25 or more years ago, but I'm not used to talk in front of a big audience and they started to ask questions about how much time and if they'd get their tickets back if we had to suspend the show, well… That sort of things. So while I was answering I said that the company X had informed that the problem would be fixed in about 15 minutes and we'll continue with the performance with a plus of seeing again a great solo by one of our best dancers. BUT I used the old name of the company and when I realized, I said: “Well whatever X is called now! “. And all the audience started clapping, laughing and cheering. I bowed and turned to go back to my position and a guy yelled ”Don't go! Talk about something else while we wait” and there was more laughing and clapping. So 1000 angry people were amused and in a good mood when we resumed the show.

Ticiana Tomasi，前舞臺經(jīng)理(1995年至今)
有兩次，但不是在電影院，只是逗笑了在劇院看芭蕾舞的觀眾，這兩次我都是舞臺經(jīng)理。
第一次，在演出的中間，整個劇院黑了下來。應(yīng)急燈立即打開，在后臺工作的人都有手電筒，我放下幕布，找出了問題所在，給技術(shù)人員和舞者下達(dá)指示，然后走出來面對觀眾。
我們在一棟大樓里，在場大約有1000人，大家心情都非常糟糕，我向大家解釋說，這不是大樓的問題，是附近出了問題，但我們沒有發(fā)電機。
我不習(xí)慣在大眾面前說話，他們開始問我需要多久能處理好，如果我們不得不暫停演出，他們能不能退票......諸如此類的問題。
我回答說：“X公司已經(jīng)通知我們，大約15分鐘左右就能解決問題，我們的演出還會繼續(xù)，大家再次看到我們最好的舞者之一的精彩獨舞?！?br /> 但我用的是公司的舊名稱，當(dāng)我意識到后，我又說："好吧，不管X現(xiàn)在叫什么!“
所有的觀眾都開始鼓掌、大笑和歡呼，我鞠了一躬，轉(zhuǎn)身回到我的位置上，一個人喊道："別走！別走！在等待的時間里我們聊點別的吧！"笑聲和掌聲也更熱烈了。
最后，當(dāng)我們的表演繼續(xù)進行的時候，1000名憤怒的觀眾都已經(jīng)被逗樂了，心情也變好了。

The second time, we were about to start, when something blew and lights stopped responding. Again 1000 people getting mad because we were not starting. So there I went, to explain what was going on. I apologized for the inconvenience and said that we were having a technical problem but “we are working as fast as we can to fix it and start the show. We'll, I'm not fixing anything… I've been asking the guys to hurry up until I came to talk to you”. Again cheering, clapping and laughing. I gave them an estimate of time and promised to come back with an upxe if things didn't work. They clapped a lot and fortunately, I didn't have to go out again.
And the last story. It wasn't me, but it was because of something I said…

第二次，我們正要開始表演時，有什么東西炸了，燈滅了，又有1000名觀眾因為我們的表演沒能及時開始而生氣，我再次去解釋發(fā)生了什么事：“我對造成的不便表示抱歉，現(xiàn)在我們遇到了一個技術(shù)問題，但我們正以最快的速度修理它并恢復(fù)演出。我不會修理任何東西，但我一直在要求伙計們抓緊時間，然后我就來和你們說話了。"底下響起了歡呼聲、掌聲和笑聲。
我給他們一個大概的時間，并承諾如果事情進展出現(xiàn)了問題，我會再次向大家報告的。
還有最后一個故事，不是因為我，而是因為我說的一些話。

Same theatre, different stage. Just 120 seats. There was a tiny fire in progress on the other side of the building. It's a huge theatre, so it was about a block away and not even on the same floor or block of the building. We had 2 short plays running one after the other, with a 15 minute break to set up the second one.

同一個劇院，不同的舞臺，這次是120個座位的劇場。大樓另一邊的劇場發(fā)生了一場小火災(zāi)，這是一個巨大的劇院，所以火災(zāi)點離我們大約有一個街區(qū)之遙，甚至不在同一樓層。
我們有兩部短劇相繼進行，中間有15分鐘的休息時間來準(zhǔn)備第二部。

When I came back to my position, I could smell the smoke. The lightning and sound booth was higher than the audience seats and I had a vent right over my head. I didn't even need to fully stretch my arm to touch the ceiling. So I told the fireman and the technicians to be alx, because something was going on. 3 minutes into the 2nd play, the fireman gets a call and leaves. So I send someone to stay right by the door outside to keep me posted. According to the procedure, I can't evacuate until I get the command. But I knew by the smell that it would come any minute. About 30 minutes later, I heard a very distant fire truck siren. It was about 5 minutes away. So I told the techs to light up the house as soon as they saw me appearing on stage.

當(dāng)我回到我的位置時，燈控室和音響室比觀眾席高，我的頭頂上有一個通風(fēng)口，我甚至不需要完全伸直，我的手臂就能摸到天花板，我聞到了煙味，所以我告訴消防員和技術(shù)人員要保持警惕，可能出什么事情了。
第二部短劇演了3分鐘，消防員接到電話離開了，于是我派人就在外面的門邊，隨時向我匯報情況。根據(jù)程序，在我得到命令之前，我不能疏散人群，但我通過氣味猜測，疏散的指令隨時有可能下達(dá)。
大約30分鐘后，我聽到了很遠(yuǎn)傳來的消防車的警報聲，大約還有5分鐘的路程，所以我告訴技術(shù)人員，一旦看到我出現(xiàn)在舞臺上，就把燈都打開。

I went out to get cleared for evacuation and headed backstage. Sent the actors that were waiting, to get their stuff from the dressing rooms and leave the building and stepped to face the audience. Now, the wardrobe designed for that play was like everyday clothes and it happened in an old closed theater…
I also was very calm, because I had time to think what I was going to say to avoid a stampede of frightened screaming people. So when I said that we needed to evacuate, and gave the instructions to the audience and explained that we were in no danger because the fire was about a block away and they were already putting it out, an old lady asked: “Is this a part of the play or do we need to actually leave?” and even though many people were nervous, all the audience laughed. They left walking calmly, nobody forgot anything and when the firemen arrived I was the only one left in that part of the building, with all the doors open to avoid unnecessary damage. They thanked me and I left.
Well… Many more stories come to my mind. 25 years as a stagemanager aren't uneventful. But these three will do.

我先去了后臺，為疏散做準(zhǔn)備，讓正在等待的演員們從更衣室里拿上他們的東西，離開大樓，然后我邁步走向觀眾。為該劇設(shè)計的服裝和日常的穿著一樣，該劇的劇情也是發(fā)生在一個封閉的老劇院里......
我非常冷靜，我有時間思考我要怎么說，以避免受到驚嚇的觀眾大聲尖叫或發(fā)生踩踏事件。我對觀眾們說我們需要疏散，然后向觀眾發(fā)出了指示，并解釋我們沒有危險，因為火災(zāi)離我們大約有一個街區(qū)的距離，消防人員已經(jīng)在滅火了。一位老太太問道："這是戲劇的一部分還是我們需要真正離開？"盡管很多人都很緊張，但所有的觀眾都笑了起來，他們平靜地走了，沒有人落下任何東西，當(dāng)消防員到達(dá)時，我是唯一留在那部分建筑里的人，所有的門都開著，以避免不必要的損失。他們向我表示了感謝，然后我就離開了。
我的腦海中還浮現(xiàn)出了許多故事，當(dāng)了25年的舞臺經(jīng)理，生活當(dāng)然不可能是平淡無奇的，但我說這三個就夠了。

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