是什么讓人們發(fā)生了改變呢(上)
What makes people change?譯文簡(jiǎn)介
網(wǎng)友:是痛苦:當(dāng)一個(gè)人受到傷害的時(shí)候,會(huì)發(fā)生改變。從字面意思上來說,就是可能會(huì)因?yàn)樗说臒o知,或者普遍是因?yàn)楦械焦陋?dú)感,或者是因?yàn)楦械矫悦?,所以人才?huì)發(fā)生改變。是啟示:所以,當(dāng)你每天一個(gè)人起床、上班、看電影、一個(gè)人出去吃飯,還有很多事情自己一個(gè)人做的時(shí)候......
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What makes people change?
是什么讓人們發(fā)生了改變呢?
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Pain: feeling hurt can go miles in changing a person. Literally. It might happen due to ignorance of others on their part or general sense of loneliness or just…feeling lost?
Revelation : So, you're waking up everyday , going to work, watching a movie , eating out all by yourself. You enjoy it. Alot. But…you're all on your own. We're all surrounded by 1000s of people around us. And yet we never feel that sense of togetherness with anyone. And then suddenly, none of that matters at all to you. Because all you're really worried about is your Self. So you build yourself . And then you start to build your empire.
Nothing: Change does not need a reason to be. It just is! It is in our lifestyle to adapt ownselves to our demands. Sometimes it's the situation that requires to you do what you're doing. Or sometimes it's just nothing at all ! For no goddamn reason! But lets face it . That's life :)
是痛苦:當(dāng)一個(gè)人受到傷害的時(shí)候,會(huì)發(fā)生改變。從字面意思上來說,就是可能會(huì)因?yàn)樗说臒o知,或者普遍是因?yàn)楦械焦陋?dú)感,或者是因?yàn)楦械矫悦?,所以人才?huì)發(fā)生改變。
是啟示:所以,當(dāng)你每天一個(gè)人起床、上班、看電影、一個(gè)人出去吃飯,還有很多事情自己一個(gè)人做的時(shí)候。雖然你會(huì)享受這樣,但是,基本上你們只能靠自己。雖然我們身邊有成千上萬的人,但是,我們從未真正感受過與其他人的那種緊密的聯(lián)系感。所以你才會(huì)在突然之間感覺這些對(duì)你來說都不重要, 因?yàn)槟阏嬲枰獡?dān)心的是你自己。 所以你開始關(guān)注自身,并努力打造一個(gè)只屬于自己的帝國(guó)。
沒什么理由:改變不需要任何理由。就是這樣!努力適應(yīng)自己的需求是我們生活中的一部分。所以當(dāng)你遇到這種情況的時(shí)候,你只需要做好你當(dāng)下正在做的事情就可以了?;蛘哒f,有時(shí)候人發(fā)生改變根本就沒有任何原因,就是莫名其妙的發(fā)生了變化,這就是生活!所以我們還是老老實(shí)實(shí)的面對(duì)現(xiàn)實(shí)吧。
原創(chuàng)翻譯:龍騰網(wǎng) http://mintwatchbillionaireclub.com 轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明出處
The willingness to change yourself for someone else is because of our own insecurities. Because we are insecure of how people willl judge us, will people accept us, am I someone they want to hang out with ? This all comes from a place of lack of self belief and lack of confidence in yourself. We smoke our first cigarette just because of that peer pressure or if I put this in simpler words, the fear of getting alienated. Also, nowadays everyone seem to be doing so much self harm and they judge the people who are actually doing good for themselves. For example - Someone smoking cigarette in your group. He will cultivate this habit in many other people of your group. Suddenly a lot of people in your group will start smoking and the meter will come at you. You probably would not want to smoke but you will. This is known as peer pressure.
Also, in terms of romantic relationships, we try to be the perfect match for our partner. We change our habits, our taste and a lot of things thinking that our partner will now love us more.
All of these things happen just because of insecurities. The need of validation, love, acceptance makes us change ourselves for others.
To not do this, you need to have self belief, you need to know the difference between right and wrong. Think before you change yourself for others. Think from a third person’s perspective. Think about if I change this particular habit, will it keep me happy in the long term ? Is it something I would want to cultivate in me if it wasnt for that loved one or that group of friends ?
Do not think like if you do not get validation from this group of your friends or your romantic partner, you will never be happy.
We all emit certain energies. That energies have certain frequencies. You need to be friends with people who match your frequency .
Do not force relationships because forced relationships are always short living.
Just know that you are an amazing person and you have certain qualities that might or might not match with the people you are with right now.
You do not need anyone’s approval to be great. You just need yours my friend. :)
愿意為別人改變自己的原因大概是因?yàn)槲覀冏约旱牟话踩小R驗(yàn)槲覀儾恢廊藗儠?huì)如何評(píng)價(jià)我們,我們不知道他們會(huì)不會(huì)接受我們?我們也不知道我們是不是他們想與之交往的人?這一切都是因?yàn)槲覀內(nèi)狈ψ孕乓约拔覀儗?duì)自己沒有信心的原因。當(dāng)我們抽第一支煙的時(shí)候,就是因?yàn)閬碜酝g人的壓力,或者簡(jiǎn)單點(diǎn)說,就是我們害怕被他們疏遠(yuǎn)了。而且,現(xiàn)在很多人當(dāng)下正在做的事情是會(huì)傷害到自己的事情,但他們并沒有去批判那些讓他們變壞的人,反而去評(píng)判那些真正為他們好的人。比如,如果你的小組里有人吸煙,他就會(huì)培養(yǎng)你們小組里的其他人一起抽煙。突然有一天,你就會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)你團(tuán)隊(duì)中有很多人開始吸煙了。剛開始你可能不想吸煙,但你最終還是會(huì)吸煙的,因?yàn)檫@就是所謂同伴的壓力。
此外,在戀愛方面,我們都希望成為伴侶眼中最完美的樣子。我們改變了自己的生活習(xí)慣、品味以及很多東西,我們認(rèn)為這樣做會(huì)讓我們的伴侶更愛我們。
所有這些事情的發(fā)生都是因?yàn)槲覀內(nèi)狈Π踩?。我們?yōu)榱双@得他人的認(rèn)可、愛和接受改變了自己。
為了不再出現(xiàn)這樣的情況,你需要充滿自信,你需要知道什么是對(duì),什么是錯(cuò)。在你為他人改變自己之前,先認(rèn)真考慮一下,從第三者的角度來思考一下這件事有沒有必要做。想想看,如果我改變了這個(gè)習(xí)慣,從長(zhǎng)遠(yuǎn)來看,它會(huì)讓我快樂嗎?如果不是為了我所愛的人或那群朋友,我還會(huì)想培養(yǎng)這種習(xí)慣嗎?
你不要想著,如果你得不到這群朋友或伴侶的認(rèn)可,你將永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)幸福。
我們都會(huì)釋放出一定的能量,而能量又有一定的頻率。你需要和你頻率相匹配的人成為朋友。
不管是什么關(guān)系都不要強(qiáng)求,因?yàn)閺?qiáng)求得來的關(guān)系總是短暫的。
你要知道,你是一個(gè)了不起的人,你有某些特質(zhì),可能與你現(xiàn)在的朋友相匹配,也可能不相配。
你并不需要得到任何人的認(rèn)可才 可以成為一個(gè)偉大的人。你只需要你真正的朋友陪在你身邊。
They say that the only good apology is changed behavior.
What makes people change?
Pain. When people realize they are in a bad situation, pain helps to awaken people from their constant “auto-pilot” mode.
It may not even be real physical pain, just the emotional pain of self-reflection. Emotional pain can be far more devastating than any physical pain, to note.
“What if instead of participating in ritualized behaviors that are highly based on emotions like fear that can ruin health, relationships, self-esteem, personal growth, professional development, I adopted a zero-tolerance policy against doing things that often end up in regret.
For example, losing patience and having a screaming meltdown because the inner-dialogue has made things seem over-blown, skipping meals as an attempt to lose weight when that only leads to a slower metabolism and gorging on food.”
他們說最好的道歉方式就是改變你的行為習(xí)慣。
那到底是什么讓人們發(fā)生了改變呢?
是疼痛。當(dāng)人們意識(shí)到自己身處糟糕的處境時(shí),疼痛有助于將人們從持續(xù)的“自動(dòng)駕駛”模式中喚醒。
它甚至可能不是真正的身體上的痛苦,而是自我反省時(shí)情感上的痛苦。值得注意的是,情感上的痛苦可能比任何身體上的痛苦更具有破壞性。
如果我不去參與那些會(huì)高度依賴情感的事情,比如那些會(huì)破壞健康、人際關(guān)系、自尊、個(gè)人成長(zhǎng)和職業(yè)發(fā)展的事情,而是對(duì)這些事情采取一種零容忍的態(tài)度,不去做這些以后會(huì)讓自己后悔的事情。
例如,因?yàn)閮?nèi)心的想象讓事情顯得過于夸張,從而失去耐心導(dǎo)致大發(fā)雷霆;以及試圖通過不吃飯來達(dá)到減肥的目的,但結(jié)果卻導(dǎo)致新陳代謝變慢以及暴飲暴食。
Fear.
FEAR = False Emotions Appearing Real
“If I decide to kick this person to the curb….I might not find anyone better or anyone else at all…even though life with this person is hell.”
“If I quit my job to pursue my real interests, whether at work or hobby, I’ll have no benefits, no money, and might not be able to obtain a new job afterwards.”
“If I gather up enough courage to engage and converse with someone who I find interesting or appealing…they could insult and humilate me.”
One way to overcome this circular routine is to reflect on hypothetical scenarios by combining both pain and fear.
“If I let fear stop me from meeting people I would like to meet, I might end up terribly lonely, like now, but till the end of life, dying alone.” (triggers pain)
“If I don’t pursue my own interests, for my own interests, I’ll still have to keep coming back to a job leading nowhere that I hate and creates pain.”
“The unexamined life is not worth living (Socrates).”
Once you decide with firm resolve to not allow potential undesirable outcomes to occur, even if you have to fail and get back up many times, the understanding is made firm, an understanding of the higher self.
是什么阻止了人們發(fā)生改變?
是恐懼。
恐懼=看似真實(shí)的虛假情緒。
“如果我決定不再搭理這個(gè)人,我可能找不到比他更好的人了,或者根本就找不到其他人,即使和這個(gè)人生活在一起簡(jiǎn)直就是地獄。”
“如果我辭職去追求我真正的興趣愛好,無論是將其變成工作還是將其繼續(xù)作為愛好,我將來都可能沒有任何的福利待遇,也沒有錢,而且可能以后還找不到新的工作?!?br /> “如果我鼓足勇氣去與我感興趣的人或吸引我的人去交流,我覺得他們可能會(huì)侮辱我或者羞辱我。”
克服這種惡性循環(huán)的一種方法,就是通過結(jié)合疼痛和恐懼來反思假設(shè)的場(chǎng)景。
“如果我讓恐懼阻止了我去見我想見的人,我可能會(huì)像現(xiàn)在一樣非常孤獨(dú),一直孤獨(dú)到生命的盡頭,最后孤獨(dú)地死去?!?br /> “如果我不去追求自己的興趣愛好,不為自己的興趣愛好而努力,那我最終還是會(huì)回到那個(gè)讓我感到非常痛苦的,沒有任何前途的討厭的工作崗位上去” 。
“未經(jīng)審視的生活是不值得過的——蘇格拉底。”
一旦你下定決心不再讓潛在的不良結(jié)果發(fā)生,即使你不得不面對(duì)多次的失敗,但只要你重新站起來,那你對(duì)它的理解就會(huì)變得更加堅(jiān)定,你對(duì)自我也會(huì)有更高的理解。
Many who spend a good proportion of time at the actual self stage often have a lot of “shoulds” and static to-do lists. “I should….[do something]” is a statement that someone knows what needs to be done but isn’t following through.
The decision to change is a choice.
When what one considered or calls a “should” becomes a “must” for that person, change happens.
When one says, “that’s it, no more,” “this can no longer be put off or ignored or trivialized,” and one decides about what will be tolerated from themselves (or what they will tolerate from others), there is a choice, a decision is made, and things change.
I recommend the book Unf*ck Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life by Gary John Bishop. Plain language which is precise and not annoyingly verbose, supported by sold premises. I recommend.
Are you tired of feeling fu*ked up? If you are, Gary John Bishop has the answer. In this straightforward handbook, he gives you the tools and advice you need to demolish the slag weighing you down and become the truly unfu*ked version of yourself. ''Wake up to the miracle you are,'' he directs. ''Here's what you've forgotten: You're a fu*king miracle of being.'' It isn't other people that are standing in your way, it isn't even your circumstances that are blocking your ability to thrive, it's yourself and the negative self-talk you keep telling yourself.
我們都渴望擁有一個(gè)更高層次的自我,渴望變成理想中的自我,但也有一個(gè)真實(shí)的自我。
很多人在了解真實(shí)的自我階段花了很長(zhǎng)一段時(shí)間,他們通常有一大堆“應(yīng)該做什么”和“要做什么”的清單。 “我應(yīng)該做點(diǎn)什么事”是指某人知道應(yīng)該做點(diǎn)什么,但沒有堅(jiān)持去做。
做出改變的決定是一種選擇。
當(dāng)一個(gè)人將認(rèn)為“應(yīng)該”要做的事情變成“必須”要做的事情時(shí),就代表他已經(jīng)發(fā)生改變了。
當(dāng)一個(gè)人說,“就這樣了,不能再這樣了”,“這件事不能再拖了,這件事不能再被忽視了,也不能再被輕視了”,當(dāng)一個(gè)人明白自己能容忍什么(或者別人能容忍什么)的時(shí)候,就說明他已經(jīng)做了選擇,當(dāng)他做了一個(gè)決定的時(shí)候,事情就發(fā)生了變化。
我推薦這本由加里·約翰·畢曉普編寫的書 《Unfuck Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life》。簡(jiǎn)明的語言,精確而不冗長(zhǎng)。
你是否厭倦了生活被搞得一團(tuán)糟?如果您是,你可以在加里·約翰·畢曉普所寫的書中找到答案。在這本簡(jiǎn)單明了的手冊(cè)中,他為您提供了你想改變生活所需的所有工具和建議,這本書會(huì)幫助你卸下肩上沉重的負(fù)擔(dān),讓你成為真正的自己?!皢拘涯闵眢w里的奇跡吧,”他說道: “這就是被你遺忘的事情,你是一個(gè)奇跡?!弊璧K你茁壯成長(zhǎng)的不是其他人,甚至不是你所處的環(huán)境,而是你自己,是你與自己的消極對(duì)話阻礙了你的成長(zhǎng)。
原創(chuàng)翻譯:龍騰網(wǎng) http://mintwatchbillionaireclub.com 轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明出處
I am willing.
I am wired to win.
I got this.
I embrace the uncertainty.
I am what I do.
I am relentless.
I expect nothing and accept everything.
在這本書中,畢曉普將帶領(lǐng)你完成一系列的七個(gè)主張:
我愿意。
我很想贏。
我懂了。
我接受不確定性。
我就是這樣的人。
我是無情的。
我一無所求,我接受一切。
In one word I would say - Life
Everyone changes as time goes by. I am not the same 7 year old kid I was more than a decade ago and neither can I relate completely with teen version of me while I was going through my adolescenct phase.
Each day in life brings something new to be experienced and which has small but a certain impact on you.
We are all familiar with the rock in a desert example. The rock faces strong winds day and night and gets weathered every day but it isn't perceptible to us until we look at it after say a year or so and it's even more visible if you let a decade pass by.
Similarly we are the rocks and the ever changing never really stagnant flow of life represents the wind. Just like the wind the life throws us curveballs and gives us unique experiences which in turn change our outlook to how we perceive ourselves and others.
As your outlook changes so does your approach towards life. You learn from your mistakes , you try not to repeat them , you make some new mistakes , realise about them and so on the cycle continues.
Each day creates a new memory and teaches you things albeit subtly which may make you think that life is still and stagnant but it is akin to the depths of river which although seems to be still when you look at it from outside but the reality turns out to be quite the contrary.
Similarly when you introspect you come to realise and understand that the years that have gone by have changed you in many ways…some perceptible but some not.
I was thinking about this a few months back and I came to a conclusion that to really embrace life I must learn to embrace the changes in my life and must learn to accept who I truly am. Only then can I be at peace with everything and everyone around myself.
So, Life changes you and you in turn change your perspective towards life and this cycle goes on.
我想用一個(gè)詞來概括——生活。
每個(gè)人都會(huì)隨著時(shí)間的流逝而發(fā)生變化。我不再是十多年前那個(gè)7歲的小孩了,我也無法完全理解青少年時(shí)期的自己。
每一天的生活里都會(huì)有新鮮的事情等著我去體驗(yàn),雖然這些都是小體驗(yàn),但還是會(huì)對(duì)你有一定的影響。
我們都知道沙漠中的巖石,它們?nèi)杖找挂苟家鎸?duì)著強(qiáng)風(fēng)的吹打,每天都要經(jīng)受風(fēng)吹雨打,但我們無法察覺到它的變化,但你等過了一年以后再去觀察它,才會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)它發(fā)生了變化。如果過去了十年,它會(huì)變化的更加明顯。
同樣的,我們就像巖石一樣,沒有什么大的變化,生命就像風(fēng)一樣的永不停歇的流動(dòng)著。生活給了我們獨(dú)特的經(jīng)歷,反過來再改變我們對(duì)自己和他人的看法。
當(dāng)你的人生觀發(fā)生改變時(shí),你對(duì)生活的態(tài)度也會(huì)發(fā)生變化。你會(huì)從錯(cuò)誤中學(xué)到新知識(shí),當(dāng)你意識(shí)到你犯了一些新錯(cuò)誤時(shí),你會(huì)努力不再犯同樣的錯(cuò)誤,如此循環(huán)下去。
你每天都要?jiǎng)?chuàng)造新的記憶,這些記憶會(huì)教你一些東西,盡管這些東西可能會(huì)讓你覺得生活是靜止的,停滯的,但它其實(shí)類似于河流的深度,雖然從表面上看似乎是靜止的,但事實(shí)卻是恰恰相反。
同樣地,當(dāng)你自省時(shí),你會(huì)意識(shí)并理解,過去的歲月在許多方面都改變了你,有些變化你可以察覺得到,但有些你卻無法察覺。
幾個(gè)月前我一直在思考一個(gè)問題,我得出的結(jié)論是,要想真正的擁抱生活,我必須學(xué)會(huì)接受生活中的變化,必須學(xué)會(huì)接受真實(shí)的自我。只有這樣,我才能與身邊的每件事和每一個(gè)人都和平共處。
所以,雖然是生活改變了你,但反過來你也改變了對(duì)生活的看法,這個(gè)循環(huán)會(huì)一直持續(xù)下去。
Hi
There is a good and bad change in perspective of world. But change in it self can’t be categorize like that. People change for various reasons,
1 living changing events.
2 forced to change
3 conscious effort.
Life changing events can be like meeting with an accident or getting well after an illness, this changes the out look of a person tremendously. A good person can become a dumb one and vice versa.
Forced changed can be due the pressure of peers and family and friends or even the very society they are in.
Conscious effort is they just want to change. they may start looking down at people, who where there with them in times of distress.
我們對(duì)世界的看法有好有壞。但世界觀的改變并不能就這樣簡(jiǎn)單的分類一下。人們會(huì)因?yàn)楦鞣N原因而導(dǎo)致世界觀發(fā)生變化:
1.生活里不斷發(fā)生變化的事讓我們的世界觀發(fā)生了變化。
2.世界觀被迫發(fā)生改變。
3.有意識(shí)的努力。
生活里發(fā)生的可能會(huì)改變了我們世界觀的事件,可能是一場(chǎng)意外或者是一次大病后的康復(fù),這會(huì)極大地改變一個(gè)人。一個(gè)好人可能會(huì)變成一個(gè)笨蛋,反之亦然。
世界觀被迫發(fā)生改變可能是因?yàn)閬碜酝g人、家人和朋友的壓力,甚至是他們所處的社會(huì)環(huán)境帶給他們的壓力。
有意識(shí)的努力可能是因?yàn)樗麄兿胍淖?。他們可能?huì)開始看不起那些在他們痛苦的時(shí)候陪伴在他們身邊的人。
I’m sixty-eight years old.
When I look back on my life, I see so many changes. I couldn’t begin to list, or categorize them with respect to their importance or impact on me as the person I am today.
Every choice and decision I made, each new path I took — everything brought change and, looking back, it was the right decision at the time.
At times I’ve wondered, had I chosen another route here and there, how my life might have differed, but it’s an exercise I only allow myself on a sleepless night.
See, there are no answers to find. I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be …
What changes a person?
Life, yes ... but, we make our own changes, as we live it.
我今年六十八歲了。
當(dāng)我回首往事時(shí),我看到這期間發(fā)生了很多的變化。我無法根據(jù)它們的重要性以及他們對(duì)我所產(chǎn)生的影響來劃分它們。
我所做的每一個(gè)選擇和每一個(gè)決定,以及我所走的每一條路,這所有的一切都讓我發(fā)生了很大的變化,現(xiàn)在回過頭看看,這些決定在當(dāng)時(shí)都是非常正確的決定。
有時(shí)我想,如果我當(dāng)時(shí)選擇了另外一條路,我的生活會(huì)不會(huì)有什么不同,但這種想法我只允許自己在不眠之夜的時(shí)候才能思考。
看吧,根本就沒有標(biāo)準(zhǔn)答案。我現(xiàn)在所處的位置就是我該在的地方……
是什么改變了一個(gè)人?
是生活,但是,也是我們自己決定的,要在生活中做出改變。
In my opinion, it's knowledge, knowledge can change person's life, though money is also necessary, it alone can't change you. What if you have money, but don't have knowledge/awareness to use it in development, you will remain same. Knowledge will tell you to spend your money at right place, and help you you get improved, knowledge will also help you get money.
There are examples, see, all the successful people, most of them didn't have money initially, but, they had knowledge, they used it in right direction, and they changed their life.
Another side, if you see the people who already had money, and strong financial background, they are same, as they were, even some of them are having bad condition, they lost their wealth, because lack of knowledge.
在我看來,這是知識(shí)的力量,知識(shí)可以改變一個(gè)人的生活,雖然金錢也是很重要的,但它本身并不能改變你。
如果你有錢,但是沒有要去開發(fā)它的意識(shí),那么你只能維持現(xiàn)狀。知識(shí)會(huì)告訴你怎么把錢花到正確的地方,并幫助你進(jìn)步,知識(shí)也會(huì)幫助你賺到更多的錢。
這里有一些例子可以證明我說的話,很多的成功人士,他們中的大多數(shù)人在一開始的時(shí)候并沒有錢,但是,他們有知識(shí),他們把知識(shí)用在正確的方向上,最后改變了自己的生活。
換個(gè)角度說,如果你看到那些已經(jīng)很富有的人,那些有著強(qiáng)大經(jīng)濟(jì)背景的人,他們也一樣。甚至有一些人因?yàn)槿狈χR(shí)而失去了財(cái)富,最后導(dǎo)致他們現(xiàn)在的經(jīng)濟(jì)條件并不好。