忘記你愛(ài)的人最好的方法是什么？（二）

Beverly Chua, Google Ambassador at Google Announces Alphabet (2013-present)
I really get over someone I truly loved.
That was 7 years ago, I have been completely get over until I do not need to stick with him like I cannot live without him. Financially I need him to give me every dollars, I am feeling miserable during that time, I always live in insecure mode even though I share business with him as the business brings money.
I really cannot live alone without someone sleeping beside me. I am feeling miserable that I can no longer sleep well if I am sleeping alone by just hugging pillow. My unstable inner me really cause me lots of sleepless night. My mind is overactive until I think about anything. That kind of depression is really takes time to recover.

我真的忘記了我真正愛(ài)的人。
那是7年前的事了，以前我沒(méi)有他簡(jiǎn)直就活不下去，直到我不再需要和他在一起我才完全釋懷了。經(jīng)濟(jì)上，我需要他給我錢，那段時(shí)間我感覺(jué)很痛苦，我總是生活在不安全的模式，即使我和他共做生意，因?yàn)樯鈳?lái)錢。
沒(méi)有人陪我睡覺(jué)，我真的無(wú)法獨(dú)自生活。如果我一個(gè)人抱著枕頭睡不好覺(jué)，感到很痛苦。我內(nèi)心的不穩(wěn)定真的讓我很多個(gè)夜晚失眠。在我想任何事情之前我的大腦都是過(guò)度活躍的。這種抑郁癥需要時(shí)間才能恢復(fù)。

In the mean time, I long time depending on my best friend I thought to overcome the feeling of anxiety of being independent. I cannot do anything I am feeling I am living on an Island. Crying cannot solve my problems. I have been a long term dependent for my first marriage. I don’t care about what people around think about me, fat or thin, spending lots of money or what.
I have been sent to see a Psychiatrist about my depression with a big stone inside my heart. I ought to take medicine for so many years to get over. I am very serious feeling miserable. I cannot smile or dancing at all. My face is pale , where is life and what is life going to be after all this life that I have built for so many years, everyone in The Family thought I am already very good in every aspects especially I do not need to work for others. That is the best part, everyone in The Family think of.
OMG, I do not even know how to drive in the middle of city Kuala Lumpur. I don’t even own a car but always depending on my driver. I do not how to shopping in The Kuala Lumpur anymore if I do not have him to take me everywhere or guide me in many things in my life especially about my career. God, please send someone to guide me through my life.

與此同時(shí)，我長(zhǎng)時(shí)間依靠我最好的朋友，我想克服的焦慮是獨(dú)立的感覺(jué)。我什么都做不了，我覺(jué)得我是生活在一個(gè)孤島上。哭泣不能解決我的問(wèn)題。在我的第一次婚姻中，我是一個(gè)長(zhǎng)期的依賴者。我不在乎周圍的人怎么看我，胖還是瘦，花了很多錢還是什么。
我被送去看精神病醫(yī)生，因?yàn)槲业囊钟舭Y，心里總有一塊大石頭。我吃多年藥才能恢復(fù)過(guò)來(lái)。我很認(rèn)真，感覺(jué)很痛苦。我不會(huì)笑，也不會(huì)跳舞。我的臉很蒼白，家人都認(rèn)為我在各方面都很好，特別是我不需要為別人工作。這是最棒的部分，家族里的每個(gè)人都認(rèn)為。
天哪，我甚至不知道在吉隆坡市中心怎么開(kāi)車。我甚至沒(méi)有車，但我總是依靠我的司機(jī)。如果我的生活中沒(méi)有他帶我去任何地方或指導(dǎo)我許多事情，特別是關(guān)于我的職業(yè)生涯，我就不知道如何在吉隆坡購(gòu)物了。上帝，請(qǐng)派一個(gè)人來(lái)指引我的人生。

I have taken seven years to get over what my first marriage has brought to me. I have rebuild my everything again. I have stand up again. My life has been re-established again. I have sought everything one after one, collecting bullets becoming very important as I must prove to everyone in The Family I am totally well in my decision after the gossips, the opinions, the comments, the advice, the guidance has been given much and most of the time is by my second Tycoon Husband that he has been accompany me 24 hours for 7 years already from friend to husband and more surprise to come. His creative treatments is really working, jealousy non-stop with focusing on him.
I am richer now than before in the world. I always use calculator to count my money in bank. I am waiting to get my big car and my cozy apartment. I just want to prove I am able to pay for the maintenance in the long run with no problems no worries, smiley face with cheerful heart all the time. I really thank my Computer Engineer for being such a great life partner in managing my emotions and overall development until this stage I am well performed without much anxiety.
I love you three forever, my hubby, my precious son Hangh Honey, my adopted daughter Chloe Wojin and my adopted son Benji Wojin!

我花了七年時(shí)間才從第一次婚姻給我?guī)?lái)的傷痛中走出來(lái)。我已經(jīng)重建了我的一切。我又站起來(lái)了。我的生活又重新開(kāi)始了。我一個(gè)接一個(gè)地尋找每一樣?xùn)|西，因?yàn)槲冶仨毾蚣彝ブ械拿總€(gè)人證明，在經(jīng)歷流言、意見(jiàn)、評(píng)論和建議之后，我的決定完全正確，我的第二任大亨丈夫給了我很多指導(dǎo)，他已經(jīng)全天候陪伴了我7年，從朋友到丈夫，還有更多的驚喜。他的創(chuàng)造性治療真的很有效，他周圍一直圍繞著嫉妒的人。
我現(xiàn)在比以前更富有了。我總是用計(jì)算器數(shù)我在銀行里的錢。我在等著買大車和舒適的公寓。我只是想證明我有能力支付長(zhǎng)期的維修費(fèi)用，沒(méi)有問(wèn)題，沒(méi)有煩惱，一直帶著愉快的笑臉。我真的很感謝我的電腦工程師，他是這樣一個(gè)偉大的生活伴侶，管理我的情緒和全面發(fā)展，直到這個(gè)階段，我表現(xiàn)得很好，沒(méi)有太多的焦慮。
我永遠(yuǎn)愛(ài)你們?nèi)齻€(gè)（原文表述有誤應(yīng)該是4人），我的丈夫，我的寶貝兒子Hangh Honey，我的養(yǎng)女Chloe Wojin和我的養(yǎng)子Benji Wojin!

Igman Fermont, Independent: Writer, Editor, Filmmaker, Poet.
You could date several guys in a lifetime, and a lot of names will just *phoof* disappear in your memory. Some what when you really love somebody, you don't even forget his last name, you are lucky if you forget on what day his birthday lands, 30 years from now.
So how do you move on? I could write a book ha! I can only say that unless you find someone to share a common goal: buying a home, building a family, kids. You will never leave behind that part of your past. You have to build a new chapter, a big one, a significant one.
During the meantime, I encourage you do some free liberating own therapy. You know some exercise to let things go. For example
When you're alone, grab a chair or an obxt you can relate, and say all the good, all the bad about the relationship, and say goodbye. It helps a lot doing it alone and not talking it with your ex partner. Cause its a private thing, a part of you need that extra closure and need to hear it, from you. Your own voice.
After you done that, I would just grab everything of his, like letters, photos and put it on box, and don't burn it, don't throw it. Just keep it safe, in a corner or shelf, somewhere you wouldn't everyday see. Put some a positive note on top, like “thank you for everything, or it was great while it lasted” anything that is positive and somehow a goodbye. Cause its not about burning things or dating like crazy, its about acceptance.
Lastly if you ever think of him, you know like that blue moon that hits you asunder when you least expect it, and leaves you breathless. Well write about it, about him or the memory that came to your head, maybe a letter, a note, or even a poem. However you want to express it, but let it out. Save it, put it somewhere safe and not in your everyday sight. Its not meant to be read, its about not hiding your past. And accepting the present and being okay with that.

你一生可以和好幾個(gè)男人約會(huì)，很多名字會(huì)在你的記憶中消失。如果你真的愛(ài)一個(gè)人，你甚至不會(huì)忘記他的姓，如果30年后你忘了他的生日是哪一天，那你就很幸運(yùn)了。
那么你該如何繼續(xù)前進(jìn)呢?我可以寫一本書哈!我只能說(shuō)，除非你找到一個(gè)有共同目標(biāo)的人:買房子，建立家庭，生孩子。你將永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)忘記你的過(guò)去。你必須建立一個(gè)新的篇章，開(kāi)啟非常重要的篇章。
在此期間，我鼓勵(lì)你做一些自由解放的治療。你知道一些讓事情順其自然過(guò)去的鍛煉。例如：
當(dāng)你一個(gè)人的時(shí)候，找一把椅子或一個(gè)你能聯(lián)想到的東西，把這段關(guān)系的好與壞都說(shuō)出來(lái)，然后說(shuō)再見(jiàn)。一個(gè)人時(shí)做這件事很有幫助，而不是和你的前伴侶說(shuō)。因?yàn)檫@是你私人的事情，你需要從你那里聽(tīng)到自己那部分的關(guān)于它結(jié)束的聲音。
你這么做之后，估計(jì)是時(shí)候把他所有的東西都拿過(guò)來(lái)，比如信件，照片，放在盒子里，不要燒掉，也不要扔出去。把它放在一個(gè)角落或架子上，一個(gè)你每天都不會(huì)看到的地方。在最上面寫一些積極的東西，比如“謝謝你所做的一切，或者曾經(jīng)非常棒”任何積極的東西，然后以某種方式說(shuō)再見(jiàn)。因?yàn)檫@不是燒東西或瘋狂約會(huì)，這是接受。
最后，如果你曾經(jīng)想過(guò)他，你知道，就像藍(lán)色的月亮在你最意想不到的時(shí)候把你撞碎，讓你喘不過(guò)氣來(lái)。那就寫下來(lái)，寫他或者你腦海中出現(xiàn)的記憶，也許是一封信，一張便條，甚至一首詩(shī)。不管你想怎么表達(dá)，但要把它釋放出來(lái)。把它保存起來(lái)，放在一個(gè)安全的地方，而不是你每天看到的地方。這不是用來(lái)閱讀的，這是關(guān)于不要隱藏你的過(guò)去。接受現(xiàn)實(shí)，一切都會(huì)好起來(lái)的。

TK Diamond, Novelist.
Two things:
First thing - this is pretty internally brutal but it works if given some time to allow the habit to establish. You get control of your heart by getting control of your mind. Use your mind to control your thoughts because your thoughts of the ex are driving the emotions ala “can’t get over” them. Whenever the thought of that person comes up you have to replace it with another thought or thoughts. All those little things you miss about them, the things you used to do together, etc. are all anchored in the past and to that person and can be considered negative because they drive that feeling of not getting over them - because you’re not. You’re still thinking about them. Replace these by creating some future-based, social opportunities that you look forward to doing; a holiday, a trip, something, anything… but it has to be something you enjoy doing, love even and look forward to, preferably with other people. Ever time that nagging little thought comes up you then think about what you’ll be doing in the future and every time it tries to come back you switch back across to thinking about the future thing. Every time. Every single time. This way you train your thoughts away from the missed person and onto something you look forward to doing.
Roger wilco. You can get good at this. Too good actually. Before you know it you’ve turned off a lot of your emotional self with this so take it easy / be careful with this one. Once you find yourself being able to laugh at it all, the breakup, things that happened, regrets… then your work here is done.
Second thing - some things we aren’t meant to “get over”. If you really did love the person then that feeling might be there for a long time, forever maybe but what you need to do is realise that is perfectly normal and the strength of the feeling relaxes over time until you become a little more comfortable with it. You might still find yourself, every now and then, thinking back to that person and that feeling of missing them will come back - but it won’t be that overarchingly strong that it makes you feel helpless. You’ll accept it. You’ll move on. Life will go on - as it always does.

兩件事:
首先、這在內(nèi)心是相當(dāng)殘酷的，但如果給你一些時(shí)間讓習(xí)慣形成，它會(huì)起作用。你通過(guò)控制你的思想來(lái)控制你的心。用你的思想來(lái)控制你的想法，因?yàn)槟銓?duì)前任的想法會(huì)讓你產(chǎn)生“無(wú)法擺脫”的情緒。每當(dāng)想到那個(gè)人的時(shí)候，你就必須用另一個(gè)或多個(gè)想法來(lái)代替它。所有那些你想念的關(guān)于他們的小事情，你們?cè)?jīng)一起做的事情等等，都是固定在過(guò)去和那個(gè)人身上的，可以被認(rèn)為是消極的，因?yàn)樗鼈冏屇阌X(jué)得無(wú)法忘記這些事情——實(shí)際也沒(méi)有忘記。你還在想著他們。取而代之的是創(chuàng)造一些你期待去做的基于未來(lái)的社交機(jī)會(huì);假期，旅行，任何事情，但必須是你喜歡做的事情，甚至是你喜歡和期待的事情，最好是和其他人一起。每當(dāng)那個(gè)煩人的小想法出現(xiàn)的時(shí)候，你就會(huì)想你將來(lái)要做什么，而每當(dāng)它試圖回來(lái)的時(shí)候，你就會(huì)轉(zhuǎn)回去想未來(lái)的事情。一次又一次，這樣，你就可以訓(xùn)練你的思想遠(yuǎn)離你想念的人，而轉(zhuǎn)向你期待做的事情。
收到，你可以做得很好，太好了。在你意識(shí)到它之前，你已經(jīng)關(guān)閉了你的很多自我的情緒，所以放松，這個(gè)時(shí)候要小心。一旦你發(fā)現(xiàn)自己可以對(duì)這一切一笑置之，對(duì)分手、發(fā)生的事情、后悔都一笑置之，那么你在這里的工作就完成了。
第二件事、有些事情我們不打算“克服”。如果你真的愛(ài)這個(gè)人，那么這種感覺(jué)可能會(huì)持續(xù)很長(zhǎng)一段時(shí)間，也許永遠(yuǎn)，但你需要做的是意識(shí)到這是完全正常的，這種感覺(jué)的力量隨著時(shí)間的推移會(huì)放松，直到你對(duì)它感到更舒服。你可能仍然會(huì)時(shí)不時(shí)地想起那個(gè)人，想念他們的感覺(jué)也會(huì)回來(lái)—但這種感覺(jué)不會(huì)強(qiáng)烈到讓你感到無(wú)助。你會(huì)接受它。你會(huì)繼續(xù)前進(jìn)。生活將一如既往地繼續(xù)下去。

Prasanna Venkatesh, Engineer by profession and writer by passion
Do you ever really get over someone you truly loved?
To be really honest, you cannot stop loving someone even though it is in the past or it is unrequited. If it is just lust, staying away will help. If you love the other person truly, then that love will never fade. Just accept that she/he doesn’t want you in her/his life anymore and stay away from that person. May be time and distance will help both of you to realize what you both mean to each other. Till then stay away, otherwise you will be hurt so much. Time doesn’t heal anything. It just teaches you to live with that pain. True love will never go away and you cannot forget that person. But remember that if things are to happen, they will realize someday. I am still crying as I write this one, because I know how much it hurts to be ignored by the one who means a lot to me. Save yourself from that pain.
Sometimes we don't get closure all the time and it is not required either. We just have to learn to live with that pain.
It was two long years after she asked me to stay away from her. February 12th, 2016, Fate or coincidence, we both met each other again at a restaurant on the same day I proposed her, two years back in 2014. Not as strangers again, this time with memories. I stood frozen as I was so happy to see her again with our mutual friends. She couldn't look at me as she was probably feeling guilty and overwhelmed or because she was indifferent. Emotions ruled the scene. All the Worlds a stage and both of us were the leads in the play called LIFE. I composed my thoughts, gathered up the courage and shook hands with her and told a "hi" smiling outside, but weeping inside. The moment where I guided her hair behind her ears in the latest picture of hers flashed in my mind and all those emotions of love and togetherness preoccupied my mind. All she could think was "I know how much you are hurt and I don't know what am I going to do to make up for it". Our minds spoke these words and the other person exactly deciphered the other's thoughts. And we both left saying a "Hi", still hoping that the other should be happy. Sometimes silence speaks a thousand words, with more deep meaning. Words take back stage. Love is much more than just a feeling.
True Love waits with patience, but sometimes true love alone is not enough. There is no past tense in love. You always will love. May be the heart will try to heal and learn to live with that pain, the biggest problem is to silence the mind and move on. If it is meant to be, it will be someday. Only time and Destiny can answer.

你有沒(méi)有忘記過(guò)你真正愛(ài)的人?
說(shuō)實(shí)話，你不能停止愛(ài)一個(gè)人，即使那是過(guò)去的事或者是沒(méi)有回報(bào)的事。如果只是欲望，遠(yuǎn)離會(huì)有幫助。如果你真的愛(ài)另一個(gè)人，那這份愛(ài)就永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)褪色。接受這個(gè)事實(shí)，她/他的生活中不再需要你了，離那個(gè)人遠(yuǎn)點(diǎn)。也許時(shí)間和距離會(huì)幫助你們意識(shí)到你們對(duì)彼此的意義。在那之前離我遠(yuǎn)點(diǎn)，否則你會(huì)受傷的。時(shí)間并不能治愈一切。它只是教會(huì)你帶著痛苦生活。真正的愛(ài)永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)消失，你不會(huì)忘記那個(gè)人。但要記住，如果事情真的發(fā)生了，他們總有一天會(huì)意識(shí)到的。寫這封信的時(shí)候，我仍然在哭泣，因?yàn)槲抑溃灰粋€(gè)對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)很重要的人忽視是多么傷人。把你自己從痛苦中拯救出來(lái)吧。
有時(shí)我們并不是一直都能得到解脫，這也不是必需的。我們只需要學(xué)會(huì)忍受這種痛苦。
那是她讓我離她遠(yuǎn)點(diǎn)的整整兩年之后。2016年2月12日，不知是命運(yùn)還是巧合，在我向她求婚的同一個(gè)日子，我們又在一家餐廳相遇了，那是在2014年。再也不像陌生人，這一次帶著回憶。我愣住了，因?yàn)槲液芨吲d又看到她和我們共同的朋友在一起。她不能看我，因?yàn)樗赡芨械絻?nèi)疚和不知所措，或者因?yàn)樗魂P(guān)心。《所有的世界》是一個(gè)舞臺(tái)，我們倆都是《生活》這出戲的主角。我整理了一下思緒，鼓起勇氣和她握了握手，向她打了個(gè)招呼，外面笑著，心里卻在哭泣。在她最新的照片中，我把她的頭發(fā)梳到耳后的那一刻，我的腦海里閃過(guò)，所有那些愛(ài)和團(tuán)結(jié)的情感占據(jù)了我的腦海。她所能想到的只是:“我知道你受到了多大的傷害，我不知道我要做什么來(lái)彌補(bǔ)?！蔽覀兊拇竽X說(shuō)出了這些話，而對(duì)方準(zhǔn)確地理解了對(duì)方的想法。我們都說(shuō)了聲“嗨”離開(kāi)了，仍然希望對(duì)方能幸福。有時(shí)沉默勝過(guò)千言萬(wàn)語(yǔ)，但意味更深刻。言語(yǔ)被收回舞臺(tái)。愛(ài)不僅僅是一種感覺(jué)。
真愛(ài)是耐心等待的，但有時(shí)只有真愛(ài)是不夠的。愛(ài)情中沒(méi)有過(guò)去時(shí)。你會(huì)永遠(yuǎn)愛(ài)我。也許心會(huì)試圖愈合并學(xué)會(huì)帶著痛苦生活，最大的問(wèn)題是讓頭腦沉默并繼續(xù)前進(jìn)。如果命中注定，總有一天會(huì)的。只有時(shí)間和命運(yùn)才能回答。
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Unrequited love is really painful. Especially if your feelings are genuine and you love her to the truest of your senses. It kills you everyday to realize that she doesn't love you back yet. And worse is getting ignored. But the thing about love is, it is always unconditional. You love her because you want to, not because you want her to love you back. That's what love is all about. Just be true to your feelings and try to stay away from her in order to avoid the pain. Unrequited love is one of the most painful things we can ever experience. It's not even like getting over a dead person. Getting over someone you love truly is an extremely difficult task. Someday your heart will learn to live with it. It may not completely move on, but it will try to heal and live with it. The problem is to just silence the mind.
It hurts. It hurts real bad. It stings. There is a pang in your heart every single time you think about her. You care for her that much and you love her that much. You experienced pinnacle of happiness when you were with her, and now when she leaves, you experience nadir of sadness. It really hurts because you still care and you will care, even though she is with you or not. Your heart will still care.
But just remember it wasn't easy for her to let you go. Sometimes they leave because they can't see you sad. My girl left me that way and I completely get her view on this. She cared for me as a real friend and I love her even more. It stings me and I feel how much it would have hurt her too. She asked me to stay away for I can move on, little did she know that she was the one whom I genuinely love after my parents. I am still staying away for I want her to be happy. For her to be guilt free. I can't see her sad any day.
We all know how much it stings us because we experience it. But we all should know how much it would hurt them too. I really care about her and her happiness still. That is what love and care is all about. If it was just distance and time that would make someone unlove, then love would be an easy thing. It isn't. True love will never fade. It still stings but there is sweetness in that pain and tears are more sweeter.

暗戀真的很痛苦。特別是如果你的感情是真誠(chéng)的，你是真心愛(ài)她的。當(dāng)你意識(shí)到她還愛(ài)你的時(shí)候，你每天都很痛苦。更糟糕的是被忽視了。但關(guān)于愛(ài)，它總是無(wú)條件的。你愛(ài)她是因?yàn)槟阆霅?ài)她，而不是因?yàn)槟阆胨矏?ài)你。這就是愛(ài)的真諦。只要真實(shí)地面對(duì)自己的感受，為了避免痛苦，盡量遠(yuǎn)離她。單戀是我們經(jīng)歷過(guò)的最痛苦的事情之一。這甚至不像是忘記一個(gè)死人。忘記你真正愛(ài)的人是一項(xiàng)極其困難的任務(wù)。總有一天你會(huì)學(xué)會(huì)接受它。它可能不會(huì)完全向前看，但它會(huì)努力愈合并與之共存。問(wèn)題是要讓頭腦安靜下來(lái)。
這很傷心。每次你想到她，心里都會(huì)感到一陣刺痛。你那么關(guān)心她，那么愛(ài)她。當(dāng)你和她在一起時(shí)，你經(jīng)歷了幸福的頂峰，而現(xiàn)在當(dāng)她離開(kāi)時(shí)，你經(jīng)歷了悲傷的谷底。這真的很痛，因?yàn)槟闳匀辉诤酰夷銜?huì)在乎，不管她在你身邊或不在你身邊，你的心都會(huì)在乎。
但你要記住，讓她離開(kāi)你并不容易。有時(shí)候他們離開(kāi)是因?yàn)樗麄兛床坏侥愕谋瘋?。我的女朋友就那樣離開(kāi)了我，我完全理解她對(duì)這件事的看法。她像真正的朋友一樣關(guān)心我，我更愛(ài)她了。這讓我很難受，我覺(jué)得她也會(huì)很難過(guò)。她讓我離開(kāi)，因?yàn)槲铱梢岳^續(xù)生活，她不知道除了我的父母她是我真正愛(ài)的人。我還是會(huì)遠(yuǎn)離她，因?yàn)槲蚁胱屗_(kāi)心，讓她沒(méi)有罪惡感，我再也看不到她傷心的樣子了。
我們都知道它有多痛，因?yàn)槲覀兘?jīng)歷過(guò)。但我們都應(yīng)該知道這也會(huì)給他們帶來(lái)多大的傷害。我真的很在乎她，在乎她的幸福。這就是愛(ài)和關(guān)心的全部。如果只是距離和時(shí)間會(huì)讓一個(gè)人不愛(ài)，那么愛(ài)就會(huì)變得很容易。它不是，真愛(ài)永不褪色。它仍然會(huì)刺痛你，但有甜蜜的痛苦和淚水更甜。

May be I love her way too much and pushed her away, but it is the only way I know to love her, because she still means the whole world to me. I really have that hope that she is happy and if at all she comes back, she will still be the only princess in my life. If at all everyday in life wanted to ask: "would you like to save today's changes?" World would be an awesome place. But that's what life is all about. We all make mistakes and we learn.
Honest answer is we can’t make it disappear completely. We just have to learn to live with that pain. The heart always wants what it wants, the problem is to silence the mind!
If you love her/him truly, then it is really difficult to get over her/him and get over that love. There is no easy way to unlove a person and it is not a cake walk. Accept that your feelings for her/him are true, deep and real and acknowledge and feel that emotion. Feel that love and also feel that pain completely.
Then wish her/him well and try to stay away for you want her/him to be happy, if you truly love her/him. Don't fake your feelings. Cry if you want to, get angry if you want to, but process all those emotions fully. Time may lessen the pain. Have this in mind that you will never be completely over her/him, but you will have to start to learn to live with it. I can completely empathize with you and I know that pain as I have been going through the same for more than five long years. It is tough. But in my case, I want her to be happy even if it doesn’t involve being with me. Love is about wanting the other to be happy, not about possession.
You never heal completely from breaking up with your true love especially if you still love them and they were the one who initiated the breakup and left. You will only learn to live with that pain with time.

也許是我太愛(ài)她了，才把她推開(kāi)了，但這是我知道的愛(ài)她的唯一方式，因?yàn)樗匀皇俏业恼麄€(gè)世界。我真的希望她是幸福的，如果她回來(lái)了，她仍然是我生命中唯一的公主。如果在生活中每天都想問(wèn):“你想保存今天的變化嗎?”世界將會(huì)是一個(gè)很棒的地方。但這就是生活的真諦。我們都會(huì)犯錯(cuò)，也會(huì)學(xué)習(xí)。
誠(chéng)實(shí)的回答是，我們不能讓它完全消失。我們只需要學(xué)會(huì)忍受這種痛苦。心總是想要它想要的，問(wèn)題是讓頭腦冷靜!
如果你真的愛(ài)她/他，那么你真的很難忘記她/他，也很難忘記那份愛(ài)。要不愛(ài)一個(gè)人是不容易的，這不是一件容易的事。接受你對(duì)她/他的感情是真實(shí)的、深刻的，承認(rèn)并感受那種感情。感受那種愛(ài)，也完全感受那種痛苦。
如果你真的愛(ài)她/他，那就祝福她/他，并盡量遠(yuǎn)離她/他，因?yàn)槟阆Ｍ?他幸福。想哭就哭，想生氣就生氣，但要完全處理好所有情緒。時(shí)間會(huì)減輕痛苦。記住，你永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)完全忘掉她/他，但你必須開(kāi)始學(xué)著接受這一點(diǎn)。我完全理解你的感受，我之所以知道是因?yàn)槲乙呀?jīng)經(jīng)歷了五年多的痛苦。這是艱難的。但對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)，我希望她幸福，即使這與我無(wú)關(guān)。愛(ài)是希望對(duì)方幸福，而不是占有。
你永遠(yuǎn)無(wú)法從與真愛(ài)的分手中完全恢復(fù)，尤其是如果你仍然愛(ài)著他們，而他們又是主動(dòng)提出分手并離開(kāi)的人。只有隨著時(shí)間的推移，你才能學(xué)會(huì)忍受這種痛苦。

Palash Nandi, lives in Bengaluru, Karnataka, India
You will only get over him when you realize that - You have no other way left. And when you feel you have suffered enough and you deserve better.
I am sorry if it sounds harsh and I was tempted to write a long drawn soothing answer but that won't help you. There are temporary solutions that others will suggest like find another guy, busy yourself in work, spend time with friends etc etc, but those are only temporary distractions, the moment you are alone , believe you me, you will start thinking about him, if you only rely on those temporary tricks.
So my dear. only when you realize (in your gut) that you have no other choice will you get over him. And the only way to realize that in your gut, is to reach a point when your heart and body and every cell shouts out, that you have suffered enough and no more. You can reach that point in 5 mins, 1 hour , 1 week, 1 month , several years or several decades, depends wholly on you. Reading your post, I donot think you wanted such a deep answer and I feel you are not even sure if there is no future.
There are tons of couples I know who keep saying there is no future , no future but they keep secretly hoping that some miracle will happen. And you know what, in some cases it does. I have a friend who got married after 6+ years of on-off court ship and numerous breakups and patchups. And now they are happy. I also have friends who broke-up married someone else and now they are also happy.
So you need to think about your own situation. Brain is a tricky animal, you cannot trick it so easily. If there is a part of you that still wants it to work out some way , then you will not get over him.

只有當(dāng)你意識(shí)到你別無(wú)選擇時(shí)，你才會(huì)忘記他。那是你覺(jué)得你已經(jīng)受夠了，你應(yīng)該得到更好的。
如果這聽(tīng)起來(lái)很刺耳，我很抱歉，我很想寫一個(gè)安慰性回答，但這對(duì)你沒(méi)有幫助。其他人會(huì)建議一些臨時(shí)的解決辦法，比如找另一個(gè)人，忙于工作，和朋友在一起等等，但這些只是暫時(shí)的分心，相信我，如果你僅僅依靠這些臨時(shí)的技巧，當(dāng)你一個(gè)人的時(shí)候，你就會(huì)開(kāi)始想他。
所以，親愛(ài)的。只有當(dāng)你意識(shí)到你別無(wú)選擇時(shí)，你才會(huì)忘記他。唯一能認(rèn)識(shí)到這一點(diǎn)的方法是，當(dāng)你的心臟、身體和每一個(gè)細(xì)胞都在呼喊時(shí)，你已經(jīng)受夠了，再也受不了了。你可以在5分鐘、1小時(shí)、1周、1個(gè)月、幾年或幾十年內(nèi)達(dá)到這一點(diǎn)，這完全取決于你自己。讀了你的帖子，我不認(rèn)為你想要如此深刻的答案，我覺(jué)得你甚至不確定是否沒(méi)有未來(lái)。
我認(rèn)識(shí)很多夫妻，他們一直說(shuō)沒(méi)有未來(lái)，但他們一直暗暗希望奇跡會(huì)發(fā)生。你知道嗎，在某些情況下是這樣的。我有一個(gè)朋友，在經(jīng)歷了6年多的斷斷續(xù)續(xù)和無(wú)數(shù)次分手和修補(bǔ)之后結(jié)婚了?，F(xiàn)在他們很開(kāi)心。也有朋友和分手之后也很幸福。
所以你需要考慮你自己的情況。大腦是很狡猾，你不能輕易地欺騙它。如果你有一部分人仍然希望事情以某種方式解決，那么你不會(huì)忘記他。