你為什么不想生孩子？

This is me 100%. I love kids. Other people's kids. I love spending time with them and teaching them and I have been volunteering in youth ministry for my church for 36 years. I also have 5 nephews and a great nephew as well as being "aunt" to the children of many of my friends.

這100%是我。我喜歡孩子們。別人家的孩子們。我喜歡花時間陪他們，教導(dǎo)他們，我在自己家附近的教堂做青年牧師志愿者干了36年。我也有5個侄子和一個侄孫，并且給很多朋友的孩子都當(dāng)姨。

But I also love sending them home when the class/day/outing is over. The stress of being 100% responsible for a child or children 100% of the time is just not for me. I can be a lot more loving and patient with "my kids" because they go home with someone else.

但我也喜歡在課程/一天/出去玩結(jié)束的時候送他們回家。要100%為一個孩子或很多孩子承受壓力的生活是不適合我的。正是因為孩子們最后要和別人回家，我才能給“我的孩子們”提供更多的愛和耐心。

Spencer2091
In psych class we learned about a study where they separated monkeys from their mothers at birth. The monkeys grew to be anxious and twitchy. When those monkeys had their own kids, the mothers didn't know how to care for them. I was raised horribly so I don't know how to raise someone well. My parents had children even though their parents abused them. My grandparents' parents probably also abused them. I'm just cutting off the cycle.

在心理課上我們學(xué)過一個研究，他們把剛出生的猴子和母親分開。猴子長大之后變得又焦慮又緊張。這些猴子有了自己的孩子之后，當(dāng)母親的也不知道該怎么照顧他們。我自己是在非常可怕的環(huán)境下長大的，所以我也不清楚該怎么好好地將別人撫養(yǎng)成人。我的父母的父母虐待過他們，但他們還是選擇了要孩子。我祖父母的父母很可能也虐待過自己的孩子。我只是不想再進(jìn)行這個循環(huán)了。

firetruckgoesweewoo
You know how people often say “I’ll do a better job than my parents ever did”? Yeah, that doesn’t always work out that way.

你知道人們有多經(jīng)常說“我要比我的父母做得好得多”嗎？沒錯，其實結(jié)果并不總是像他們說的那樣。

My parents were absolutely horrible to us. My sibling said “I’ll do a better job!”, she really thought she would. She didn’t. She didn’t finish her education, just like our parents didn’t. She’s completely overwhelmed with taking care of her children, just like our parents were. Her husband is trash, just like our father was. She has untreated mental issues, just like our mother had. Her children are unruly, constantly fight, have zero manners.

我的父母對待我們非常糟糕。我的姐姐說“我會比他們做得更好！”她真的以為她可以。但她沒做到。她沒能完成自己的學(xué)業(yè)，和我們的父母一樣。她被照顧自己孩子的負(fù)擔(dān)壓垮了，也和我們的父母一樣。她的丈夫就是個廢物，和我們的父親一樣。她有精神問題沒有得到治療，和我們的母親一樣。她的孩子們都不聽話，經(jīng)常互相打架，一點也沒有禮貌。

She didn’t do a better job.

她并沒能做到更好。

I did get help for my issues, and I can safely say that I will not be a better parent. The one thing I can do is take in teens as a foster parent, so I can help them with school, going to university and getting the proper help. Because if I can do it, so can they. Teens deserve help. I don’t need to put children on this planet if there are plenty for me to help. I wish someone had helped me when I was a teenager.

我自己的問題得到了幫助，但我也能打包票，我不會成為一個更好的家長。我唯一能做的就是給青少年當(dāng)繼父母，這樣我就能幫他們上學(xué)，上大學(xué)，找到合適的幫助。因為假如我能做到，他們也能。青少年是需要幫助的。假如已經(jīng)有很多孩子等待我去幫助了，那么我也沒有必要再給這個世界生一個。我真希望在我還是個青少年的時候，有人能幫幫我。

Terdmaster
I also want to foster instead of have a baby! When I think about having a child, it freaks me out, but when I think of adoption/fostering it makes me happy inside. I feel like I would be a terrible mother for a baby or toddler, but can be a good parent for teens.

我也想要領(lǐng)養(yǎng)，而不是自己生！我一想到生孩子，就嚇得要暈過去，但是想到領(lǐng)養(yǎng)別的孩子的話，就會讓我的內(nèi)心感到快樂。我覺得我給嬰幼兒當(dāng)母親會很糟糕，但是給青少年當(dāng)母親卻會很好。

billieaspen515
Freedom. My husband and I would probably be pretty good parents and we’re in a good spot financially, but we feel complete with each other. We have fun together and want to spend the rest of our lives without the responsibility and stress of kids.

自由。我和我丈夫應(yīng)該會是不錯的家長，并且我們的家境也很好，但我們覺得擁有彼此就足夠完美了。我們一起很開心，并且也希望余生能夠在沒有孩子的責(zé)任和壓力的情況下過下去。
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vixterlkirby
Because I believe that children deserve parents that will love them, always put them first, spend quality time with them and make sacrifices so that their children can have the best opportunities. But at the same time have the strength to set boundaries and discipline them in a healthy way so that they grow into good human beings.

因為我相信孩子是理應(yīng)得到永遠(yuǎn)愛他們的家長，永遠(yuǎn)把他們放在第一位的家長，認(rèn)真花時間陪他們，并且做出犧牲，讓他們的孩子有最好的機會的家長。但與此同時，也應(yīng)該有足夠的魄力來為他們制定邊界，用健康的方式來給他們制定規(guī)矩，讓他們成長成好的人類。
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Also because I don't currently have a partner or much financial stability in my life at this stage and I don't want to be a single parent or bring a child into the world if I'm not in a position to provide for them.

還有因為我現(xiàn)在沒有伴侶，在人生的這個階段也沒有足夠的財務(wù)穩(wěn)定性，我也不想當(dāng)一個單親家長，或是在無法給孩子提供條件的前提下把孩子帶到這個世界上。

And I don't trust myself to be unselfish enough to be everything that I believe a child deserves. I sometimes catch myself thinking that children might be nice; but until I'm sure of myself, financially stable and in a steady relationship a child is unlikely to be in the picture.

我也不相信我自己能夠無私到成為我的孩子值得的一切。我有時會發(fā)現(xiàn)自己有這樣的想法：孩子挺好的，但直到我確定自己沒問題，財務(wù)穩(wěn)定并且在一段穩(wěn)定的關(guān)系里之前，我應(yīng)該不會要孩子。

Edit: First, I'd like to thank everyone for all of their replies, awards and input. Both those who agreed and who disagreed it's always nice to get a balanced perspective on things. So please try not to downvote people who disagree with my statement into oblivion. A lot can be learned and taken from opinions that differ from your own.

編輯：首先我想要感謝所有人的回答、獎勵和建議。不論同意與否，能夠獲得平衡的觀點總是好的。所以請不要把那些不同意我的觀點的人踩到底下去。你可以從與你不同的意見之中學(xué)到很多。

Also I'd like to clarify that when I said sacrifices I don't mean "drag me to the pyre and make me a martyr" sacrifices, obviously take care of your own health and wellbeing first. But unless you are in a very cushy place in life it is likely that, as a parent, you'll have to make the decision on whether or not to forsake something for your kids. Whether it's something as small as not being able to get those new clothes that you wanted because your child needs some new stuff for school, or something like giving up your dream job because it would mean uprooting your child at a crucial stage in their learning. All of those are sacrifices and there are people out there who have ended up resenting their kids for less.

我也想澄清一點，我說的犧牲并不是那種“把我拖到火堆去讓我成為烈士”的那種犧牲，你一定要先保證自己的健康和生活質(zhì)量。但除非你已經(jīng)生活得非常舒適，很顯然作為一個家長，你要決定要不要為自己的孩子犧牲一些東西。不論是小到為孩子在學(xué)校想要的東西省下一件你自己想買的新衣服，還是為了不讓你的孩子在關(guān)鍵階段跟你到處跑而放棄你夢想中的工作。這些都是犧牲，并且也有很多人因為為自己的孩子做了犧牲而感到憤憤不平。

partytattoos
Totally agree with this! Right now my reason for not wanting kids is just that...I don’t want them. And because I think kids deserve parents who 110% love them and are willing to make sacrifices for them, I’d say that’s reason enough! I don’t want kids unless, at some point down the road, I can say with complete certainty that I do.

完全同意你的看法！現(xiàn)在我不想要孩子的唯一原因就是……不想要。因為我覺得孩子們需要家長付出110%的愛，并且愿意為他們付出犧牲。我要說這一個原因就足夠了！我不想要孩子，除非在接下來人生中的某一時刻，我能完全確信地說我想要孩子。

PearFickle
As someone who wants to become an elementary school teacher, people are often shocked to find out I don't want children. But the reason is simple: they cost a LOT of money, they take op a lot of free time and space and I have terrible genes.

作為一個想要成為小學(xué)老師的人，人們都對我不想要孩子這件事感到非常驚訝。但是原因很簡單。孩子要花很多錢，要占據(jù)大量的空閑時間和經(jīng)歷，并且我的基因很糟糕。
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No_Papaya_1931
I'm actually considering becoming a teacher too and I also don't want kids. I love science and I like to explain things about ecology or biology so teaching is like a free captive audience jkjk I had a really shitty science teacher and a really shit school and I want to offer something better to kids. My parents were kind of negletful and I got bullied a lot so I feel like I would be a teacher that could show them empathy they wouldn't normally get. I feel like I'm too poor to have my own and I worry about not being a good parent and also losing my freedom. But kids that go away at the end of the day might not be so bad.

我也在考慮成為一名教師，并且我也不想要孩子。我喜歡科學(xué)，我也喜歡解釋生態(tài)學(xué)和生物學(xué)這些東西，所以教他們就像是有一群免費的不得不聽的聽眾一樣，開個玩笑哈。我以前的科學(xué)老師和學(xué)校都非常糟糕，所以我想要給孩子們提供一些更好的東西。我的家長們都挺不管我的，我受過很多欺負(fù)，所以我覺得假如我能當(dāng)老師的話，我能給他們帶來他們一般得不到的共情。我覺得我太窮，不配有自己的孩子，我也擔(dān)心不能當(dāng)好家長，也擔(dān)心失去我的自由。但每天晚上各回各家的那種孩子或許就好很多。

Gnome_Skillet
I am a child-free high school biology and chemistry teacher. When I first started teaching, I was kinda on the fence about having kids. I just finished my 9th year teaching and I love my job, but I am now 100% certain I don’t want my own kids. I love my students and you’re right, having a free captive audience while I nerd out about some topic is awesome, but I couldn’t stand coming home and spending the rest of my limited time with even more children. It’s convinced me enough I’m going to get snipped next month.

我是個沒有自己孩子的高中生物和化學(xué)老師。在我剛開始教學(xué)的時候，我對于要孩子這件事算是騎墻的狀態(tài)?，F(xiàn)在我剛剛結(jié)束自己第九年的教學(xué)，我熱愛我的工作，但我現(xiàn)在100%確定我不想要自己的孩子。我喜歡我的學(xué)生們，并且你說得對，在我對感興趣的話題口若懸河的時候有一群免費的沒法跑的聽眾真的很棒，但我也無法忍受回家之后還要花自己有限的剩余時間和更多的孩子打交道的事實。我打算下個月就去結(jié)扎。
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CillieBillie
I'm a child-free teacher, and I honestly don't know why more teachers don't want to be child-free too.

我是個沒有孩子的老師，我真的不知道為什么那么多老師都不考慮不要孩子。

I love my job, and it is an absolute privilege to help their futures, and I really do feel like I'm putting something into the next generation.

我熱愛我的工作，并且能給孩子們的未來帶來幫助真的是一件優(yōu)越的事情，我也真的覺得我在為下一代做出貢獻(xiàn)。

I just don't have a desire for the next generation to have my genes.

我只是沒有讓下一代擁有我自己的基因的欲望。

Also without wanting to be too crass. I kind of value being able to go home and have somewhere that isn't full of kids.

還有，我也不想顯得自己很自私。我還是很看重回家之后有個沒有孩子的地方的。

And that doesn't seem illogical to me.

這對我來說并沒不符合邏輯。

If I was a doctor, I wouldn't want to have a bunch of sick people in my house.

假如我是個醫(yī)生的話，那我也不想在我自己家里有一群病人。

ChibiSailorMercury
Lack of desire to become a parent or have kids.

沒有當(dāng)家長或是生孩子的欲望。

You know how some people want kids so bad, they suffer mentally and emotionally from not having them or knowing they can't have them? How people say they feel hormonal, wanting kids real bad, they can't control it? Their ovaries are exploding? Baby fever? Or any other colloquialism about wanting to have a baby real soon?

你知道有些人確實特別想要孩子，他們甚至?xí)械骄裆虾透星樯铣霈F(xiàn)問題，因為沒有孩子，或者知道自己不能有孩子。有的人說他們感到荷爾蒙在催促，特別想要孩子，根本控制不了？她們的卵巢都要爆炸了？想要孩子想到發(fā)燒？或者別的特別想立刻要孩子的詞？

Never had that. People kept telling me that as I'd grow older, would reach my 30s, find my soulmate, my friends start having children, etc., I would start to have that feeling. I went through all these milestones and I still don't have that desire for kids.

我從來沒經(jīng)歷過。人們一直告訴我等我長大，30歲的時候，找到靈魂伴侶的時候，朋友都開始生孩子的時候，等等，我就會有這種感覺。這些里程碑我已經(jīng)全經(jīng)歷一遍了，但我仍然沒有這種欲望。

And I don't think it's necessary to have kids if one does not have the desire for it.

我也不覺得假如沒有這個欲望的話，有生孩子的必要。

pcs11224
A lot of people think they have to have kids and don't ever ask themselves whether they want them or not.

很多人覺得他們必須生個孩子，甚至不問問自己到底想不想要生。

HappyGilmOHHMYGOD
Same!

俺也一樣！

It feels so weird to be asked why I don't want kids because the answer is a simple "I just don't want them". No deep dark secrets or anything like that. Just like I didn't want to major in accounting or learn to play the violin. There's nothing wrong with it; I simply have no interest for myself.

別人問我為什么我不要孩子，我回答“就是不想要”，真的很怪。沒有什么黑暗的秘密之類的。就像我不想學(xué)會計或者我不想學(xué)小提琴一樣。這件事本身一點錯都沒有；我只是沒這個興趣。

codegamer1
I was parentified as child to my 4 younger siblings. When I see a child now, I act nice but cannot wait to get away from it.

我早在童年時期就給我的四個弟弟妹妹當(dāng)家長了?，F(xiàn)在我見到孩子的時候，我會表現(xiàn)得很友善，但我等不及趕緊跑。

A child crying/screaming immediatly puts me in a angry/foul mood for the rest of the day.

聽見孩子大哭或是尖叫，會讓我接下來的一整天都籠罩在生氣或糟糕的情緒中。

I had my share of caring for kids, and have next to nothing positive come out of it...

我已經(jīng)照顧過夠多的孩子了，但我根本沒有體會過任何積極的結(jié)果。

combatwombat2148
Yeah I'm with this. My two younger half brothers are 10 and 13 years younger than me, and I have a sister 3 years older. My sister and I basically raised my little brothers because our mum was working alot of nights and weekends and their father was always playing video games while we fed them and bathed them and all that stuff. As an added bonus one of my brothers had type one diabetes from the age of 3 so we would regularly look after his blood sugar levels and give him insulin injections. We were still teenagers at the time too. Now I have no interest in having kids because I already know all the work involved and I've done it before, and my partner isn't interested in kids either, we would rather save our money and travel the world

沒錯我懂你。我的兩個繼弟比我小10歲和13歲，我有一個比我大3歲的姐姐。這兩個弟弟基本上是被我和我姐姐帶大的，因為我們的媽媽當(dāng)時上很多夜班，而在我們喂他們，給他們洗澡的時候，他們的爸爸一直在打游戲。更糟糕的是有個弟弟從三歲那年開始患上了一型糖尿病，我們得定期看他的血糖水平，給他胰島素注射。我們那時候也只是青少年?，F(xiàn)在我對生孩子沒有任何興趣，因為我早就體驗過了這一切所需要的的功夫，我的伴侶對孩子也沒有興趣，我們寧愿省下錢來周游世界。

Aqquila89
Can't even take care of myself.

我連自己都照顧不明白。

didi_0920
I dont even know if I will have a future myself. It feels selfish to bring a child into this world at this current state.

我甚至不知道自己的未來會如何。在我現(xiàn)在這個狀況把一個孩子帶到這個世界來感覺挺自私的。

hmwhatshouldmynameb
I personally don't want to put my body thru the trauma of growing and birthing a child/children, I can barely emotionally handle myself a lot of the time and don't want to risk passing on any of my mental illnesses to someone who didn't ask to be born, and they're overall a huge financial burden and with the pandemic having destroyed my personal finances, I will never be in a financial position to feel comfortable raising a child.

我個人不想讓我的身體經(jīng)歷孕育、妊娠的痛苦。我連自己的感情都經(jīng)?？刂撇涣?，我也不想冒險把我的精神疾病遺傳給某個沒想降生的人，并且他們基本上都是巨大的經(jīng)濟負(fù)擔(dān)，疫情已經(jīng)毀掉了我的個人財產(chǎn)，所以我永遠(yuǎn)也沒辦法到達(dá)能心安理得地養(yǎng)育一個孩子的財務(wù)水平了。

SinisterKiss_
I don’t want to give birth and go through all that.. Adoption is a long process and a lot of money that I don’t have. Kids are expensive

我不想生產(chǎn)，不像經(jīng)歷那一切。領(lǐng)養(yǎng)的過程太長，要花太多我根本沒有的錢。孩子太貴了。
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luv2lerk
I'm also scared of giving birth. I don't want kids anyway but just hearing the stories of some women's birth experience freaks me out.

我也害怕生產(chǎn)。我本來就不想生孩子，但只是聽著某些女人生孩子的經(jīng)歷我就要嚇慘了。

travellingcats
Yes!! I’m surprised I had to scroll this far to find this comment. My aunt became pregnant when I was 16. I remember one day she came into my bedroom and said “Hey! Check this out!!” and lifted her shirt. Her belly was rippling and moving. You could see 1huge bumps moving across her skin. At one point, I swear I saw the outline of a tiny footprint for a few seconds. She thought it was adorable. I couldn’t bear to look at, let alone touch, her stomach. She insisted that it didn’t hurt at all, but it honestly looked like something from the movie ‘a(chǎn)lien’. If you’re really curious, you can look up videos of babies kicking from inside the womb on YouTube to get an idea of what I’m describing. I decided there and then that I did not want kids. It was honestly a relief when I realised I was a lesbian and that I would never accidentally become pregnant. Pregnancy is absolutely a form of body horror. I don’t think I would be able to even look at my own belly if I ever somehow became pregnant.

沒錯??！我竟然要翻這么久才翻到這個評論。在我16歲那年，我姨懷孕了。我記得有一天她走到我的臥室跟我說“嘿，看看這個！！”然后把她的襯衫掀了起來。她的肚子在一邊泛起波紋一邊顫動。你能看見有個巨大的腫塊在她的皮膚表面移動。在一個瞬間，我發(fā)誓我看出了一個小小的腳印。她覺得那特別可愛。但她的肚子我根本連看都不敢看，更不敢碰了。她堅持說一點都不疼，但說真的看起來就像電影《異性》里的鏡頭一樣。假如你真的對此感到好奇的話，你可以去YouTube上搜索那些孩子從子宮里往外踢的視頻，你就懂我在說什么了。就是在彼時彼刻，我決定我不想要孩子了。后來當(dāng)我意識到我是個女同性戀，永遠(yuǎn)也不會意外懷孕的時候我釋懷了很多。懷孕絕對是身體恐懼的一種形式。我覺得假如我懷孕的話我會連自己的肚子都不敢看的。

naasahhhh
My brothers are twins and used to fight when my mom was pregnant. You could literally see their little bums sticking out from either side of her belly. She'd carry icepacks around to make them stop - not that it helped, they ended up cracking a couple of ribs and breaking her tailbone by the time they were born.

我的兩個弟弟是雙胞胎，媽媽懷他們的時候他們兩個經(jīng)常在肚子里打架。你可以看見他們的屁股從她的肚子兩側(cè)凸出來。她得在肚子旁邊放冰袋來讓他們停下，但這并沒有用，最后分娩的時候他們兩個弄斷了幾根肋骨，和她的尾椎骨。

Zerocordeiro
Woah, that's insane! Never thought babies could break bones from the womb :O

我的天哪，這可太可怕了！我從沒想過孩子會從子宮里把骨頭弄斷。

Logical_Grapefruit73
The uterus is a very strong muscle, it will make the space the babies need at almost any cost

子宮是一塊非常強壯的肌肉，它會不惜任何代價給嬰兒提供需要的空間的。