為什么自律如此難以實現(xiàn)?
Why is self discipline so hard to get?譯文簡介
網(wǎng)友:因為成為一個成年人也很難。回想一下你的童年,你是否記得那是一個事情更簡單,因此更令人愉快的時期?那是因為這一時期的確更簡單。那個時期你的世界更小,你不需要同時承擔(dān)多重責(zé)任,不需要自己做飯,打掃房間,支付房租和其他賬單,或者擔(dān)心通過考試或者成功完成工作面試......
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Because becoming an adult is difficult too.
Think back to your childhood. Do you remember it as a time when things were more simple and therefore more enjoyable? That’s because it probably was a simpler time. Your world was smaller, you didn’t have to juggle multiple responsibilities, cook your own meals, clean your home, pay rent and other bills, or worry about passing an exam or successfully completing a job interview. Fast-forward to today. You are grown up and things are different. There’s a lot going on in your life. And it’s not just paying bills and keeping your home clean. There’s a lot of information that your brain is processing every day as it’s prioritizing what’s important, what action you need to take, and what can be dismissed.
In the midst of all this, it’s a challenge to focus. You’re often distracted and the distractions come from different directions: emails you need to read, messages on your phone, social media apps with notifications going on around the clock, friends calling to talk, not to mention that piece of chocolate cake you see at the grocery store that seems to be calling out to you, “Isn’t it time you treated yourself? You’ve worked so hard this week!” Think about it. Yes, it is a real challenge to be and to stay disciplined.
It’s a challenge, but it’s not impossible.
If you’re struggling to be self-disciplined in any area of your life — work, fitness, food, studying at university or high school, achieving goals — you need to make a commitment to yourself that you’ll work on this area every day.
Why every day?
Because if you just practice self-discipline from time to time, you won’t make any significant change in your life. When you make the commitment, self-discipline will become your lifestyle and part of your mindset. It will give you freedom to grow as a human being and give your life a greater sense of purpose. And the best part — it will put you in charge of where you are going.
How can you work on your self-discipline every day?
因為成為一個成年人也很難。
回想一下你的童年,你是否記得那是一個事情更簡單,因此更令人愉快的時期?那是因為這一時期的確更簡單。
那個時期你的世界更小,你不需要同時承擔(dān)多重責(zé)任,不需要自己做飯,打掃房間,支付房租和其他賬單,或者擔(dān)心通過考試或者成功完成工作面試,快進到今天,你已經(jīng)長大了,一切都不同了,你的生活中發(fā)生了很多事情,不僅僅是支付賬單和保持家里干凈,你的大腦每天都在處理大量的信息,比如優(yōu)先考慮什么,哪個事情更重要,你需要采取什么行動,以及什么是可以忽略的。
在這一切之中,集中注意力是一個挑戰(zhàn),你經(jīng)常會分心,這些干擾來自不同的方向:
你需要閱讀的電子郵件,你手機上的信息,24小時不停發(fā)送通知的社交媒體APP,朋友打電話來聊天,更不用說你在雜貨店看到的那塊巧克力蛋糕,它似乎在向你呼喚: “你該自我治愈了,你這個星期工作得太辛苦了! ”想想吧,是,自律是一個真正的挑戰(zhàn)。
這是一個挑戰(zhàn),但并非不可能完成的任務(wù)。
如果你在生活中的任何領(lǐng)域——工作、健身、飲食、大學(xué)或高中學(xué)習(xí)、實現(xiàn)目標(biāo)——都在努力自我約束,那么你需要向自己承諾,每天都在這個領(lǐng)域工作。
為什么是每天?
原創(chuàng)翻譯:龍騰網(wǎng) http://mintwatchbillionaireclub.com 轉(zhuǎn)載請注明出處
怎樣才能每天都堅持自律呢?
Leading a self-discipline life starts early in the morning. That’s the time when you set the tone to the next 12–16 hours of your life. You can choose to be reactive — wake up, get your phone and start scrolling through emails or Instagram, watch the news on TV, or respond to text messages that your friends start sending you during breakfast. If you’d like to create a different beginning to your day, train your brain to be focused as soon as you wake up.
How to do this?
Start your day with this question: “What is the one thing I am committed to completing today?” It trains your brain to focus on which goals are important to you right now, and it forces you to prioritize the goal you believe to be the most relevant in this moment. Write the question in big letters on a sheet of paper and hang it on your bedroom or bathroom wall. Read it out loud as you start your day, for example as you’re brushing your teeth. Come up with an answer on the spot and answer it out loud. Then follow up by focusing your energy throughout the day on your one thing.
#2. Do your hard work early.
A self-disciplined life is not about being spontaneous in how you go about your day. There’s time for spontaneity, and then there’s time to do what you need to do. In other words, timing is everything. Being self-disciplined means you do your hard work first before you do anything for pleasure. It means you are aware of which times of day should be devoted to doing hard work, and which times can be allotted to entertainment and socializing.
How to do this?
Build a habit of doing your hard work early. Take full advantage of your circadian rhythm (your body’s biological clock), which is your natural rhythm that “knows” what are the optimal times for you to perform certain tasks. For most people, the early morning hours are optimal for doing deep work — work that requires a lot of concentration. Specifically, the brain’s peak performance is 2-4 hours after we wake up. So if you wake up at 6, then your peak times last until 10 a.m. Working early allows your brain to focus fully on the problem at hand and with fewer distractions.
#1. 提高注意力
自律的一天從清晨開始,這個時候你就可以為接下來的12-16個小時定下基調(diào),你可以選擇被動反應(yīng)——起床,拿起手機,開始翻閱電子郵件或 Instagram,看電視新聞,或者在吃早飯時回復(fù)朋友發(fā)給你的短信,如果你想為你的一天創(chuàng)造一個不同的開始,訓(xùn)練你的大腦一醒來就集中注意力。
如何做到這一點?
以這樣的問題開始你的一天: “我今天承諾要完成的是哪件事?”它訓(xùn)練你的大腦專注于現(xiàn)在對你來說重要的目標(biāo),它迫使你優(yōu)先考慮你認(rèn)為此刻最相關(guān)的目標(biāo),把問題用大寫字母寫在一張紙上,掛在你臥室或浴室的墻上,在你開始新的一天的時候大聲讀出來,比如你在刷牙的時候,當(dāng)場想出一個答案,然后大聲回答,然后繼續(xù)把你的精力集中在這一件事情上。
#2. 盡早完成你的工作
自律的生活并不意味著你每天都是自發(fā)的,有的時間你可以隨心所欲,有的時間你得做需要做的事情,換句話說,時機就是一切,自我約束意味著在你做任何事情取樂之前,你首先要做的是努力工作,這意味著你知道一天中哪些時間應(yīng)該用來做艱苦的工作,哪些時間可以用來娛樂和社交。
如何做到這一點?
#3. Postpone what feels good.
If doing hard work early helps you focus better, the natural side effect of self-discipline is that you start postponing things that are more pleasurable. What’s the point of doing something difficult first? You’d be surprised how far-reaching this practice can be. In a study called the Marshmallow Experiment performed by Stanford University scientists, results showed that delayed gratification can increase your chance at succeeding in many areas of your life — your education, career, short and long term goals, even your personal life choices.
How to do this?
Start by observing things you’d like to indulge in whenever the opportunity presents itself — for example, buying a decadent dessert or box of candy at your grocery store. Then, resist the temptation to immediately choose to treat yourself by thinking of one reason why not to indulge: maybe you’re working on creating new fitness goals or building better eating habits. And follow up — take your attention away from the distractions and focus on your priorities for the day: finish your homework, go out for a run, or prepare dinner.
#4. Stop making excuses to distract yourself.
It may feel easier to give in to the temptation to indulge in pleasant activities, procrastinate on daily priorities, and allow yourself to get distracted all the time. These activities may seem harmless to begin with, but distractions can easily make you slip from your work. One minute you’re just catching up with a friend on WhatsApp, and the next thing you know it’s two hours later and you haven’t even begun studying for your exam. When you turn off what distracts you, you have a better chance to actually get stuff done.
How to do this?
Distractions come from different sources, not just your electronic devices. Your goal is to dial down all distractions so they’re not in your way. Set your phone to Airplane mode when you need to focus on your work — try it for a 2-hour period. Let people around you (family members, friends, or roommates) know you won't be available in the next few hours. Check email and social media apps at scheduled intervals 2–3 times a day. Don’t browse YouTube videos without a specific purpose; instead, close all tabs in your browser so it’s easier to focus.
#3. 延遲滿足
如果早點做艱辛的工作可以幫助你更好地集中注意力,那么自律的自然副作用就是你開始推遲那些更令人愉快的事情。先做困難的事情有什么意義?你會驚訝于這種做法的意義有多深遠。在斯坦福大學(xué)科學(xué)家進行的一項名為 "棉花糖實驗 "的研究中,結(jié)果顯示,延遲滿足可以增加你在生活中許多領(lǐng)域的成功機會--你的教育、職業(yè)、短期和長期目標(biāo),甚至你的個人生活選擇。
如何做到這一點?
#4. 不要找借口分散自己的注意力
你可能更容易屈服于沉溺于愉快活動的誘惑,拖延每天的優(yōu)先事項,讓自己一直分心,這些活動開始時可能看起來無害,但分心很容易使你從工作中滑落,前一分鐘你還在WhatsApp上和朋友敘舊,而下一刻你知道已經(jīng)過了兩個小時,你甚至還沒有開始為考試做復(fù)習(xí),當(dāng)你排除那些讓你分心的東西時,你就有更好的機會真正完成工作。
如何做到這一點?
干擾、分心來自各個不同的來源,不僅僅是你的電子設(shè)備,你的目標(biāo)是降低所有的分心因素,使它們不妨礙你。當(dāng)你需要專注于你的工作時,將你的手機設(shè)置為飛行模式--試一試2小時,讓你周圍的人(家人、朋友或室友)知道你在接下來的幾個小時內(nèi)不會有空,每天按預(yù)定的時間間隔檢查電子郵件和社交媒體APP2-3次,不要瀏覽沒有特定目的的YouTube視頻,關(guān)閉瀏覽器的所有標(biāo)簽,這樣更容易集中注意力。
原創(chuàng)翻譯:龍騰網(wǎng) http://mintwatchbillionaireclub.com 轉(zhuǎn)載請注明出處
As I mentioned earlier, self-discipline can become part of your mindset, so it’s important how you think about it. If you define self-discipline as an uncomfortable practice, it’s time to get another perspective so instead of deterring you, it can help you apply it to your daily life. For me, it’s never been about what I “should” do. It’s about what it can afford me. With daily practice, self-discipline trains my brain to prioritize the things I can control, allows me to let go of what I cannot, and frees me up to focus on goals regardless of how small or big they are.
How to do this?
Instead of living life day by day, start thinking about the big picture of your life. Even if practicing self-discipline may feel like you’re sacrificing something right now (time chatting with friends or indulging in a delicious dessert), think about what leading a self-disciplined life will afford you 6 months, one year, even 5 or 10 years from now. Write down a list of new habits you’d like to practice that can add up to bigger results. Create time in your calendar to devote to these new habits so you can make progress — even a 30-minute session is sufficient. When you understand the benefits of a self-disciplined life, you’ll invest in it more.
#5. 考慮未來的大局
正如我前面提到的,自律可以成為你心態(tài)的一部分,所以你如何思考它很重要,如果你把自律定義為一種不舒服的做法,那么是時候換個角度了,這樣非但不會阻止你,反而可以幫助你把它應(yīng)用到你的日常生活中,對我來說,它從來都不是關(guān)于我 "應(yīng)該 "做什么,而是關(guān)于它能給我?guī)硎裁?,通過每天的練習(xí),自律訓(xùn)練我的大腦優(yōu)先考慮我可以控制的事情,讓我放下我不能控制的事情,并讓我騰出手來專注于目標(biāo),無論它們有多小或多大。
如何做到這一點?
與其日復(fù)一日地過日子,不如開始思考你生活的大局,即使練習(xí)自律可能感覺你現(xiàn)在正在犧牲一些東西(與朋友聊天的時間或沉浸在美味的甜點中),但想想通過自律的生活會讓你在6個月、1年、甚至5年或10年后得到什么,寫下你想要實踐的新習(xí)慣清單,這些習(xí)慣可以累積成更大的成果,在你的日程表上留出時間來專注于這些新習(xí)慣,這樣你就可以取得進步--即使是30分鐘的時間也足夠了,當(dāng)你理解了自律生活的好處,你就會更多地投資于它。
原創(chuàng)翻譯:龍騰網(wǎng) http://mintwatchbillionaireclub.com 轉(zhuǎn)載請注明出處
Most people are too self indulgent to practice… and discipline takes practice. You can’t just expect the ability to be disciplined to suddenly appear out of the blue when you need it… unless you are used to challenging yourself and overcoming your impulses.If you develop discipline it is much easier to quit smoking, learn a new language or how to play the guitar, become wealthy, and lose weight.Most people are content with trying, and very few people are willing to do…
大多數(shù)人都太放縱自己而不去練習(xí)......而自律需要練習(xí),你不能指望自律的能力在你需要的時候突然出現(xiàn)......除非你習(xí)慣于挑戰(zhàn)自己,克服自己的沖動。如果你養(yǎng)成了自律的習(xí)慣,那么戒煙、學(xué)習(xí)一門新的語言或如何彈吉他、賺錢和減肥就容易多了。
大多數(shù)人只滿足于嘗試一下,很少有人愿意真正去做...
They have this story in zen-
Disciples asked hey Enligtenend Rinxai,Master, tell me how do you maintain your discipline?
He says, I sleep when sleepy, I drink when thirsty, I eat when hungry. I love when lOving. I meditate, when meditating,And that how I maintain my discipline.
I did lots of contemplation for years on this,
Oh, I cannot eat, always when I am hungry, because, I might be in class, or at work place.
For the same reason, I cannot sleep, when I am sleepy, I cannot even study, when want to study.
I felt even that discipline mentiomed by rinxai, to achieve is difficult, we are not allowed to surrender to our inner discipline, when you can achieve that, you can consider yourself truly free.
Spiritual Freedom is all about that.
禪宗有這樣一個故事
弟子們問道: 師父,請告訴我你是如何自律的?
大師說,我困了就睡,渴了就喝,餓了就吃,喜歡的時候就愛,冥想的時候就冥想,這就是我自律的方式。
對此我沉思多年。
我不能總在餓的時候吃東西,因為我可能在上課,或者在工作場所,出于同樣的原因,當(dāng)我困的時候,我不能睡覺,當(dāng)想學(xué)習(xí)的時候,我甚至不能學(xué)習(xí)。
我覺得,即使是大師所教導(dǎo)的自律,要實現(xiàn)也很困難,我們不允許向我們的內(nèi)在投降,當(dāng)你能實現(xiàn)這一點時,你可以認(rèn)為自己是真正自由了。
這大概就是精神上的自由吧。
If you think of climbing Everest today, sure it will look impossible. Same is with discipline. It's not a habit for most of us, but a journey. No one is Born good at it. Passion, Purpose, Practice- people who get these early in life, they look disciplined to us.
Anyone can get disciplined, just take the journey one habit at a time. Take control of your 20mins everyday (one ritual at fixed time, don't miss e.g. some exercise or hobby)…for a month. Increase your control to 40min (include some other ritual) for another month. Before you know, in 3–4 months you will be disciplined.
It's not tough at all, so don't beat yourself up too much. It's just the approach.
如果你今天想到要攀登珠穆朗瑪峰,肯定會覺得不可能,自律也是如此,對我們大多數(shù)人來說,這不是一種習(xí)慣,而是一種旅程,沒有人天生善于此道,激情、目標(biāo)、實踐--那些在生命早期就獲得這些的人,在我們看來是自律的。
任何人都可以變得自律,只是每次都是一個習(xí)慣的旅程,每天控制20分鐘的時間(固定時間的一個儀式,不要錯過,例如一些運動或愛好)...堅持一個月,再過一個月,將控制時間增加到40分鐘(包括一些其他儀式),3-4個月后你就會自律了。
這一點都不艱難,所以不要太過自責(zé),這只是一種方法而已。
It's not that hard if your mind is focused on your goals and achivements.. seriously.. as if let me compare myself to some of those residential school's students.. They are punctual, independent enough, knows the value of efforts and food, they can adjust anywhere without any hesitation. While there're some normal day school students like me.. we usually depend on our parents anyhow, we are the one who sleeps till 9 o'clock in morning on Sundays and do not realise or Don't have much idea about someone's efforts.. Nowadays I'm trying hard to become one of those disciplined one.. To be honest I've the most mischievous in family since kindergarten.. it's difficult but the procedure is fun.. believe me whatever things are trying to distract me I'm just taking one and only concept in my mind to not disbalance myself in this… I have to be focused and shouldn't drag my attention… just have some self-confidence and a goal for your achievements in your mind.. that you just want to grab that thing.. and trust me buddy… believe in yourself…
如果你的思想專注于你的目標(biāo)和成就,這并不難......說真的......把我自己和那些寄宿學(xué)校的學(xué)生相比,他們很守時,足夠獨立,知道努力和食物的價值,他們可以毫不猶豫地適應(yīng)任何地方,而像我這樣的普通學(xué)生......怎么說呢,我們通常會依賴我們的父母,我們周日睡到早上9點,沒有意識到或不太了解別人的努力,如今,我正在努力成為那些自律的人之一,說實話,從幼兒園開始,我就是家里最調(diào)皮的一個......這很難,但過程很有趣......相信我,不管有什么東西讓我分心,我心里只有一個唯一的概念,那就是不要讓自己失衡......我必須專注,不應(yīng)該拖累我的注意力......只是心里要有一些自信,在腦海中設(shè)定一個成就的目標(biāo),相信我,伙計.....相信你自己......
I can only speak from my experience only , it is a challenge because of my very own nature tells me one thing and my true inner self has to be aware of my nature , so i come to understand that being discipline takes a every day challenge to overcome the very nature of my being to do what is right for my over all being , im not perfext but with being aware and practice to overcome is a process within myself!!!
我只能從我的經(jīng)驗來回答這個問題,這是一個挑戰(zhàn),因為我自己的本性告訴我一件事,我真正的內(nèi)在自我必須意識到我的本性,所以我開始明白,自律需要每天的挑戰(zhàn),以克服我的本性,去做對我來說正確的事,我不完美,但是通過意識和練習(xí)來克服本性進而自律是一個過程!!
It is human nature to pursue leisure, to relax and to do what we want to do.
This may well be the reason why office have rules on working hours, why some employers are skeptical of employees working entire from home, and why medical certificates have to be submitted to Human Resources if they are unwell.
Indeed, there are some individuals who are more goal-driven but even they cannot work 24/7. If you ever come across a workaholics who does that, there’s usually a psychological reason behind it and it's not normal. Maybe they feel that they are never good enough, or that they have to stay disciplined so as to keep their jobs, or that they are lonely and they are using work as a replacement.
Typically, humans want to do what they want to do.
And in the workplace, there is no perfect fit for anyone. Even for entrepreneurs, I am quite sure there are times when they don’t feel like getting our of bed or doing some number-crunching data entry when all they want is to realise their dreams. So for typical employees, some of them simply force themselves to work merely for that pay check. As for the entrepreneurs, their desire to fulfill their dreams spurs them on.
As for students, they are often disinterested in some academic subjects and they more often feel compelled to study than motivated to do so.
Staying disciplined required us to remain focus, and this is not easy — especially in this day and age where there are numerous distractions. Our mobile phones — with its mobile games, social media apps and texting apps — is enough to keep us occupied, not to mention our personal and family commitments.
To me, this is why it is hard to be disciplined.
追求休閑、放松和做自己想做的事是人的本性。
這很可能就是辦公室對工作時間有規(guī)定的原因,為什么一些雇主對員工居家工作持懷疑態(tài)度,以及為什么如果員工身體不適就必須提交醫(yī)療證明給人力資源部的原因。
的確,有些人更有目標(biāo)驅(qū)動力,但即便如此,他們也無法全天候工作,即使你碰到過這樣的工作狂,但他們通常有心理上的原因,這是不正常的,也許他們覺得自己永遠不夠好,或者他們必須自律以保住工作,或者他們感到孤獨,他們需要用工作來代替填補自己。
通常情況下,人類都是做他們想做的事。
就工作場所而言,沒有誰是完美的適合工作的,即使是企業(yè)家,我敢肯定也有不愿意起床或做一些計算式數(shù)據(jù)輸入的時候,他們想要的只是實現(xiàn)他們的夢想,就雇員而言,他們中的一些人只是強迫自己去工作,僅僅是為了那張薪水支票,至于創(chuàng)業(yè)者,他們實現(xiàn)夢想的愿望激勵著他們前進,至于學(xué)生,他們往往對某些學(xué)術(shù)科目不感興趣,他們往往深感在被迫學(xué)習(xí),而不是有動機這樣做。
對我來說,這就是為什么很難自律的原因。
I guess it might be difficult for some people to be disciplined because it requires lots of time train discipline. Moreover, it's very hard for those who were never disciplined in their lives. I suppose that it's the most important human's feature which can bring him lots of benefit in future. Of course, there are some situations when we can't predict something and thus we should violate our plans, however discipline teaches people to adjust to different kinds of situations. Actually, I tend to suppose that discipline teaches people a lot. Hence it's very difficult for people to learn how to be disciplined. You have to forget about your previous life and start all over again.
我想,對一些人來說,要做到自律可能很困難,因為這需要大量的時間去訓(xùn)練,此外,對于那些在生活中從未受過約束的人來說,這也是非常困難的,我想,這是人類最重要的特質(zhì),可以在未來帶來很多好處,當(dāng)然,在某些情況下我們無法預(yù)測某些事情,因此我們可能會違背我們的計劃,但自律教導(dǎo)人們適應(yīng)不同的情況,事實上,我傾向于認(rèn)為自律能教會了人們很多東西,但人們很難學(xué)會如何自律,你必須忘記你以前的生活,重新開始。
It's basically because of lack of motivation. People feel that whipping themselves into doing something is the proper way of disciplining oneself, when that approach is counterproductive.
Consider that one has three selves: a high self, a conscious self, and a basic self.
The conscious self that identifies the basic self as undisciplined might incorrectly use negative motivation to get the basic self to change, for example by telling the basic self to STOP smoking cigarettes or STOP eating so much. This approach might work temporarily, but often the basic self eventually reverts back to his or her previous behavior and feels shame in doing so. And so the conscious self incorrectly clamps down again and the cycle repeats itself.
If, on the hand, the higher self presents a positive picture of what change might look like (for example, a strong visualization of the entire self being a vibrant, healthy and beautiful person), that picture can motivate the basic self to move towards changing the unwanted behavior.
So the task of creating self-discipline begins with working with the imagination to create a positive, motivating picture. This can be grounded with strategies like posting a picture or photograph of healthy/thin/beautiful person on a mirror or refrigerator door and/or carrying such a picture or photograph in a wallet or purse and taking it out to admire frequently during the day.
In that way, the high self is working with the individual's unconscious mind and collaborating with the conscious mind to motivate the basic self.
After some practice, self-discipline emerges.
這主要是因為缺乏動力。人們認(rèn)為鞭策自己去做一些事情是約束自己的正確方式,而這種方式適得其反。
想想一個人有三個自我:一個是high self(?高層次的自我),一個是“有意識的自我”,一個是“基本的自我”。
有意識的自我認(rèn)為基本自我是無紀(jì)律的,可能會錯誤地使用消極的動機讓基本自我改變,例如告訴基本自我不要吸煙或不要吃臺多,這種方法可能會暫時奏效,但通常基本自我最終會恢復(fù)到他或她以前的行為,并為此感到羞愧,于是,有意識的自我又錯誤地鉗制自己,循環(huán)往復(fù)。
從另一方面來說,如果高層次的自我呈現(xiàn)出一幅積極的變化圖景,描繪出改變可能帶來的變化(例如,強烈想象整個自我是一個充滿活力、健康和美麗的人),這幅圖景會激勵基本自我朝著改變不想要的行為方向前進。
因此,創(chuàng)造自律的任務(wù)首先要用想象力來創(chuàng)造一個積極的、激勵人心的畫面,這可以通過一些策略來實現(xiàn),比如在鏡子或冰箱門上貼一張健康/苗條/漂亮的人的照片/圖片,或者在錢包里放一張這樣的照片,并在一天中經(jīng)常拿出來欣賞一下。
通過這種方式,高層次自我與個體的潛意識協(xié)作,與有意識的思維協(xié)作,以激發(fā)基本的自我。
經(jīng)過一段時間的練習(xí),自律性就出現(xiàn)了。
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