改變人生從改變你的故事開始|洛莉 戈特利布 | TED
How changing your story can change your life | Lori Gottlieb | TED
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My parents got divorced when I was in my middle school. The letters in the talk sound so familiar that when I was little, my dad and mom would tell me totally different versions of the same story, and their words confused me for many years. When I grow up, I realized that it's not about right or wrong. It's just people can only understand the world from their own perspectives, which are usually narrow. And my solution is to honestly express yourself to others, exchange your feelings, your views, or your emotions with your partner, so you can understand each other better. It is so important and useful. Hope everyone can live a happy life instead of being trapped like my parents many years ago.
在我上中學的時候我的父母離婚了。信中所描述的聽起來和我小時候非常像，同樣的故事我的爸媽所講完全是不同的版本，并且他們的話困擾了我很多年。 當我長大后，我意識到這不是關于對與錯。這只是人們從自己的角度來理解世界，而這通常是狹隘的。 我的解決方法是誠實的向別人表達你自己，和你的伴侶交流你的感受，觀點和情緒，這樣你們能夠更好地相互理解彼此。這點非常重要并且很實用。期望每個人能夠幸福的生活，而不是像我多年前的父母一樣被困住。
Such a quotable talk!
-We are all unreliable narrators of our own lives.
- To tell a story is inescapably to take a moral stance.
- Stories are the way we make sense of our lives.
- The way we narrate our lives shapes what they become.
- Change, even really positive change, involves a surprising amount of loss.
- What would happen if you looked at your story and wrote it from another person’s point of view?
- Life is about choosing which stories to listen to, and which ones need an edit.
- There’s nothing more important to the quality of our lives than the stories we tell ourselves about them. What do you want your story to be? Go write your masterpiece!
精彩的演講
-我們都是自己人生當中不靠譜的敘事者
-講故事免不了站在道德立場
-故事是我們理解人生的一種方式
-我們敘述人生的方式影響我們的生活
-改變，即使是真的積極改變，也會帶來驚人的損失。
-假如你從另一個人的角度來觀察你所寫的故事，這將會發(fā)生什么？
- 人生就是關于選擇要聽哪些故事，哪些故事需要編輯。
- 我們對人生質量最重要的影響，莫過于我們對人生故事的理解。
Just finished her book, "Maybe You Should Talk to Someone". It's, literally, the most 'AHA!" book I've ever read. The stories of her going through therapy and those of several clients lives are SO engrossing. I had to see who this woman is!
剛讀完她的書，《也許你應該找人聊聊》。這本書真的是我讀過的最讓人"恍然大悟"的書。她治療幾位病人的故事經歷非常引人入勝。 我必須要看一下女人是誰！
This is a masterpiece of a Ted Talk. Easy to understand, short, concise and the prison bar analogy, perfect.
這是一場大師級TED演講。 非常簡短精準通俗易懂，發(fā)人深省，完美。
This is very powerful. Editing how you perceive the world and reshaping your responses can lead to deep and powerful changes. I’ve seen it. I’ve experienced it. An excellent TED talk!
這非常有影響力! 改變你對世界的認知并且重新塑造你對深層影響力改變的回應。我見過它，我感受過它。 非常出色的演講！
I just finished reading her book “Maybe You Should Talk To Someone”. I absolutely loved it and it really opened my mind. Thank you so much, Lori.
我剛拜讀完她的書《也許你應該找人聊聊》，我超愛這本書她讓我茅塞頓開！非常感謝你，洛莉
We talk so much in our culture about getting to know ourselves, but part of getting to know yourself is to unknow yourself – to let go of the one version of the story you've been telling yourself, so that you can live your life and not the story that you've been telling yourself about your life. And that's how we talk around those bars.
我們談論太多關于了解我們自己的文化，但不了解自己也是了解自己的一部分 - 放下你一直在告訴自己的那個版本的故事，這樣你就可以過自己的人生，而不是過你一直在告訴自己關于人生的故事。這就是我們繞過那些障礙的方式。
"The next time you're struggling with something. Remember that we're all going to die .And then pull out your editing tools and ask yourself : what do i want my story to be ? And then go write your masterpiece . " Lori Gottlieb
如果下一次你再糾結某些事，記得我們終將會去死。然后拿出你的編輯工具，問自己：“我想要的故事是什么？然后寫下你的杰作?！甭謇?戈特利布
I just finished reading her book " maybe you should talk to someone" and i want to thank you for this masterpiece, it made me laugh, cry, think and most importantly understand that happiness but also sadness are both temporary.
我剛讀完她的書《也許你該找人聊聊》，并且我想要感謝這本杰作，它讓我歡笑，流淚，思考，最重要的是讓我明白快樂和悲傷都是暫時的。
原創(chuàng)翻譯：龍騰網 http://mintwatchbillionaireclub.com 轉載請注明出處
Excellent TED talk. Change your narrative. If you think you don't deserve more, you will always settle for the lesser versions of choices, things, people, jobs, etc. Such a process!
棒極的TED演講，改變你的故事。如果你認為自己不配擁有更多，你總會在選擇上，事物上，人，工作等方面退而求其次。就是這么一個過程！
"If the Queen had balls, she'd be a King!" What a great line! And, I couldn't agree more regarding the change; yes, we all want change but change of other character in our story. That's most of us!
如果皇后有種，那她就是國王！ 這話真贊！ 我不能再贊同了，是的，我們都想要改變，但改變的是我們故事中的其他角色。大多數人都是如此！
This is mind blowing. One of the BEST talks and such a powerful message. In one of my classes at University, our professor asked us " What would you like the people at your funeral to say about you". Quite a few people said " Oh I would like them to say he/she was a great husband / wife, friend etc etc". Then one guy stood up and said" I would like them to say "Look he is still breathing"!!
這讓我腦洞大開! 這是最好的演講之一，表達的信息如此給力。 在我大學的某個課上，我們的教授問我們：“你希望人們如何在你的葬禮上談論你?！?安靜了一會有幾個人說：“我想要他們/她們說我是個好丈夫/妻子/朋友等?！?之后有個人站起來說：“我想要他們說看這家伙還活著!!"
Wow! This is definitely mind-blowing! Thank you for sharing this principle of rewriting, changing, editing our own stories. Truly, we can be heroes not victims in our live's narratives.
哇哦！ 這個絕對是腦洞大開！ 謝謝你分享了重寫，改變，編輯我們自己的故事原則。說實話，我們可以在我們自己的故事里成為英雄而不是受害者。
As an English major in college with a love for psychology too, I loved this ted talk. It's so insightful and the way she explained it with smiles and seriousness is compelling.
作為一個深愛心理學和英語主專業(yè)的大學生， 我超愛這個演講。非常有見地，她微笑著認真解釋的方式令人信服。
As a lifelong sufferer of PTSD from an early childhood event...I just paused at 7:33 (with tears) because casting off old misperceptions of rejection is like another rejection in and of itself. I have indeed been editing my story for several years now. I know what I want my story to be. You have just given me a window into a future that I can actually get to. No. More like an open door. Thanks.
作為一名終生患有創(chuàng)傷后應激障礙患者，我幼年時曾發(fā)生過的事。。。我剛暫停在7:33（淚目）因為拋棄過去錯誤的認知這本身就是另一種否定。幾年來我一直在編輯自己的故事。我知道我想要的故事是什么樣的。 你剛給了我一扇窗，讓我預見了一個我可以真正到達的未來。不。更像是開了一扇門。謝謝！
4年前
戈特利布女士對“生活就是故事”的角度有著深刻的見解。我認為是一個很有用的工具，尤其是如果你真的能理解我們的生活就像是我們自己寫的故事一樣，（我們的偏見）加上所有的因素，讓我們現在看起來非常有趣和真實，而不管內容如何。當一個人首先誠實地對待自己所背負的特定故事時，就有可能隨著故事的發(fā)展而變得更有創(chuàng)造力。這也可以成為通往某種形式的超越的橋梁，因為只要意識到并承認這個故事可能是關于你過去的經歷，但你是它的了解者，它最終并不是你的本來面目。
Girl... I almost threw my phone this was so good. My good points and takeaways " Which stories to listen to and which ones need to be edited" " I want to change but they are really saying is that they want another character in the story to change" Word of the Day " Ultracrepidarianism- the habit of giving opinions and advice on matters outside of one's knowledge or competence" Girl I know that's right "We must to responsibility for our role in the story" All great key points thank you so
much
妹子。。我差點把手機扔了，太精彩了。我的觀點和收獲是："哪些故事需要傾聽，哪些故事需要編輯""我想改變，但他們真正想說的是，他們期望故事中的另一個角色改變"，每日一詞 "無畏派--習慣于對自己知識或能力之外的事情發(fā)表意見和建議"，妹子，我知道這是正確的，"我們必須對自己在故事中的角色負責"，所有要點都很棒，非常感謝。
This might just be my favorite Ted Talk ever. As a therapist and a writer myself, I thank you.
這可能是我最喜歡的 Ted 演講了。作為一名理療師和作家，感謝你。
原創(chuàng)翻譯：龍騰網 http://mintwatchbillionaireclub.com 轉載請注明出處
This video had a great explanation & thank you for sharing this principle of rewriting, changing, editing our own stories. This was very engaging, insightful and interesting. I also agree with all she said, very helpful advice on getting out of the struggle anger and rejection swamp she speaks with such confidence. Also Ms. Gottlieb has a good insight into the "life as a story" perspective. I think it is a very useful tool, especially if you can really see the context of how our lives are more like a story we write as we go on, with all the factors that make it seem very interesting and real to us in the present, regardless of the content. When one is first honest about the particular story one carries, the it is possible to be more creative as the story progresses. That also can be a bridge to a form of transcendence because it is only a matter of realizing and admitting that the story may be about your experiences in the past, but you are the knower of it and it is not ultimately what you are because of that.
這段視頻有很好的解釋，感謝你分享了改寫、改變、編輯我們自己的故事的原則。這段視頻非常吸引人，很有見地，也很有趣。我也同意她所說的一切，對于走出掙扎、憤怒和拒絕的泥沼，她的建議非常有幫助，她說得非常自信。此外，戈特利布女士還從 "人生就是一個故事 "的角度提出了很好的見解。我認為這是一個非常有用的工具，尤其是如果你能真正看到我們的生活更像是我們在生活過程中寫的一個故事，不管內容如何，所有的因素都讓它在當下對我們來說顯得非常有趣和真實。當一個人首先坦然面對自己所承載的特定故事時，他就有可能隨著故事的發(fā)展而變得更有創(chuàng)造力。這也可以成為通往某種形式的超越的橋梁，因為只要意識到并承認這個故事可能是關于你過去的經歷，但你是它的了解者，它最終并不是你的本來面目。