題圖。

For people in many cultures, cheating on a partner signifies the ultimate betrayal. However, a lot of online content has made it easy to be convinced that cheating is common in Japan. But what is the cheating culture in Japan really like, and how does cheating compare to those of other countries?

對于許多文化背景下的人來說，欺騙伴侶意味著終極背叛。然而，大量的網(wǎng)絡(luò)內(nèi)容很容易讓人相信，出軌在日本很普遍。但是，日本的出軌文化到底是怎樣的，與其他國家的出軌文化相比又如何呢？
Before diving in, two terms are used in Japanese to refer to different types of cheating. The word uwaki (浮気) refers to situations like drunken mistakes or cheating as a quick way to end a relationship. The second word, furin (不倫), refers to an extramarital affair. Based on the language, it is already apparent that uwaki, or “floating spirit,” is not always treated as a big deal.

在深入探討之前，我們先來了解一下日語中用來指代不同類型的出軌行為的兩個術(shù)語。浮気（うわき）這個詞，指的是酒后犯錯或以出軌作為快速結(jié)束關(guān)系的方式等情況。第二個詞是furin（不倫），指的是婚外情。從語言上可以看出，“浮気”（うわき）并不總是被當(dāng)作特別大的事情來對待。
On the other hand, it seems that furin, which can best be translated as “adultery” or “immorality,” is taken very seriously. However, this has not always been the case.

另一方面，“不倫”（最適翻譯為“通奸”或“不道德”）似乎很受重視。然而，情況也并非總是如此。
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History of Cheating Culture in Japan

日本的出軌文化



插圖：藝伎一開始是男性的高級藝人，后期才出現(xiàn)了女性。

In many cultures, cheating on a partner is a serious crime. However, historically in Japan, marriages served to form alliances between families and secure the production of heirs. Romantic love played no role, with one proverb stating, “Those who come together in passion stay together in tears.” Instead, desires for passion and romance were typically satisfied outside one’s marriage, a common practice for both men and women.

在許多文化中，欺騙伴侶是一項嚴(yán)重的罪行。然而，在日本的歷史上，婚姻的作用是在家族之間結(jié)成聯(lián)盟，確保子嗣的繁衍。浪漫的愛情不起任何作用，有一句諺語說：“那些因激情而走到一起的人，最終留下的只剩淚水”。相反，對激情和浪漫的渴望通常在婚姻之外得到滿足，這是男女雙方的普遍做法。

In a patriarchal culture, there have always been more opportunities for men to cheat than women. For centuries, concubines and geisha, a word that literally means “artist” and describes traditional female performing artists, catered to wealthy men and held a respectable position in society. Even lower-class prostitutes did not receive as much stigma as they would in other cultures.

在父權(quán)制文化中，男人出軌的機(jī)會總是比女人多。幾個世紀(jì)以來，妾和藝妓（字面意思是“藝術(shù)家”，一般指傳統(tǒng)的女性表演藝術(shù)家）都是富裕男子的寵兒，在社會中擁有受人尊敬的地位。即使是下層妓女，也不會像在其他文化中那樣受到鄙視。

In the 20th century, perspectives shifted. Cheating came to be seen as common and inevitable husband behavior. Men worked to earn money for their families, while women were expected to stay home with their children. The reasoning was that the men deserved to relieve their stress however they saw fit, and yet a woman who cheated was considered to be disrespecting her husband and children.

20世紀(jì)時，人們的觀點(diǎn)發(fā)生了轉(zhuǎn)變。出軌逐漸被視為丈夫的常見、不可避免的行為。男人工作賺錢養(yǎng)家，而女人則要在家?guī)Ш⒆印Ｆ淅碛墒?，男人理?yīng)以他們認(rèn)為合適的方式來緩解壓力，而出軌的女人則被認(rèn)為是對丈夫和孩子的不尊重。

Hostess Clubs and Sex Work

女公關(guān)俱樂部和性工作



插圖：歌舞伎町是東京的紅燈區(qū)。

Japan’s nightlife culture is more secretive today, but the attitudes are similar as long ago. Activities that many cultures would consider cheating are not deemed as such in Japan. These activities are not only semi-legal but prent in larger Japanese cities.

如今，日本的夜生活文化更加隱秘，但人們的態(tài)度卻與很久以前相似。在許多文化中被視為出軌的活動，在日本卻不被視為出軌。這些活動不僅是半合法的，而且在日本較大的城市中非常普遍。

After work, groups of businessmen often frequent various establishments catering to them. The tame options are kyabakura, or hostess clubs, “girls bars,” and “snack bars,” where female workers provide male patrons with drinks and flirty conversation. The same is true of host clubs catering to female customers. Other businesses, such as pink salons, soaplands and “delivery health,” offer more direct sexual services, even though prostitution is illegal in Japan.

下班后，成群結(jié)隊的商人經(jīng)常光顧為他們提供服務(wù)的各種場所。在這些場所，女工為男性顧客提供飲料和調(diào)情談話。為女性顧客提供服務(wù)的男公關(guān)俱樂部也是如此。其他行業(yè)，如粉紅沙龍、肥皂地和“健康快遞”，提供更直接的性服務(wù)，盡管賣淫在日本是非法的。

Japanese law defines prostitution as sexual intercourse with a stranger, so these places find loopholes, such as giving the customer and sex worker time to “become acquainted” before having sex. Other private services, some that cater to women as well, are also becoming more popular, offering boyfriend or girlfriend experiences.

日本法律將賣淫定義為與陌生人發(fā)生性關(guān)系，于是這些地方就找到了漏洞，比如在發(fā)生性關(guān)系之前，會給顧客和性工作者一些時間來“熟悉”一下（就不是陌生人了）。其他私人服務(wù)也越來越受歡迎，其中一些也面向女性，提供男女朋友體驗(yàn)。

Because these are paid services that involve no emotional attachment, they are generally not considered cheating by some people in Japan.

由于這些服務(wù)都是有償?shù)?，不涉及感情糾葛，因此在日本，一般不會將其視為出軌行為。

Most People Consider it Cheating

大多數(shù)人認(rèn)為這是出軌



插圖：日本女公關(guān)酒吧外站著的女性。

Cheating is still considered morally unacceptable to many Japanese people. In a study by the Pew Research Centre, 69% of people in Japan said infidelity is morally unacceptable.

許多日本人仍然認(rèn)為出軌在道德上是不可接受的。在皮尤研究中心的一項研究中，69%的日本人認(rèn)為出軌在道德上是不可接受的。

This is higher than that of a few countries, Germany and India for example, but lower than that of most other countries surveyed. The same study also showed that 12% of people in Japan said that cheating was morally acceptable, which was also higher than most other countries surveyed.

這一比例高于德國和印度等少數(shù)國家，但低于大多數(shù)其他受訪國家。但同一研究還顯示，12%的日本人認(rèn)為出軌在道德上是可以接受的，這一比例也高于其他大多數(shù)受訪國家。

Still, the majority of Japanese people consider cheating immoral, at least of the extramarital variety. Japan’s laws reflect this. Extramarital relationships are considered a violation of a marriage contract, and spouses can even sue their husband or wife’s lover for adultery.

盡管如此，大多數(shù)日本人還是認(rèn)為出軌是不道德的，至少是婚外出軌。日本的法律也反映了這一點(diǎn)。婚外情被視為違反婚約，配偶甚至可以起訴丈夫或妻子的情人通奸。

Such relationships also tend to cause scandal for well-known people. For example, the recent Miss Japan beauty pageant winner returned her crown after it was revealed that she was in a relationship with a married man.

這種關(guān)系也往往會給知名人士帶來丑聞。例如，最近的日本小姐選美冠軍在被揭露與一名已婚男子有關(guān)系后退回了她的桂冠。

How Often Do People Cheat in Japan?

日本人出軌的頻率有多高？



插圖：最近在街頭采訪中詢問人們出軌頻率的視頻在網(wǎng)上變得很流行。

It’s apparent that, like people in many other countries, most Japanese people consider infidelity to be a serious offense. But how often do Japanese people cheat?

顯然，與許多其他國家的人一樣，大多數(shù)日本人認(rèn)為出軌是一種嚴(yán)重的犯罪行為。但日本人出軌的頻率有多高呢？

One study found that just under 20% of married people in Japan admitted to cheating on a partner, though there is quite a gender gap: 40% of married men and less than 20% of married women admitted to having extramarital affairs. In another poll, about 28% of men in general and about 22% of women have cheated on a partner.

一項研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，在日本，僅有不到20%的已婚人士承認(rèn)對伴侶不忠，但男女之間存在著相當(dāng)大的差別：40%的已婚男性和不到20%的已婚女性承認(rèn)有婚外情。在另一項民意調(diào)查中，約28%的男性和約22%的女性有出軌行為。

In comparison, a Pew Research Study and an Institute for Families Study found that 19% of British people and about 16% of Americans (also with a large gender gap) admitted to having cheated on a spouse.

相比之下，皮尤研究（Pew Research）和家庭研究所（Institute for Families）的一項研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，19%的英國人和約16%的美國人（同樣存在巨大的性別差距）承認(rèn)曾有過出軌行為。

What’s the Difference?

有什么不同？



插圖：許多日本夫婦認(rèn)為出軌是維持婚姻的必要條件。

Given the similar rates of infidelity, what else is different? Some major differences are the reasons for marriage and responses to cheating. To many in Japan, marriage is still a social contract, and people are expected to marry by their early thirties. Additionally, many people in Japan tend to stay married, whether or not their partner cheats. Though hard to measure, Japan’s divorce rate is slightly lower than many Western countries and its neighbor China.

既然出軌率相似，那么還有什么不同呢？一些主要的不同之處在于結(jié)婚的原因和對出軌的反應(yīng)。對許多日本人來說，婚姻仍然是一種社會契約，人們希望在三十出頭時結(jié)婚。此外，在日本，無論伴侶是否出軌，很多人都傾向于維持婚姻。雖然很難衡量，但日本的離婚率略低于許多西方國家及其鄰國中國。

One crucial element of Japanese culture is the desire to maintain peace, which has resulted in gaman culture, referring to the Japanese word for “endurance.” This general sentiment is behind many of Japan’s issues, such as people dealing with long overtime hours. It can also explain why people tend to stay in their marriages, even if a partner cheats or the marriage becomes sexless.

日本文化的一個重要元素是對維護(hù)和平的渴望，這也造就了“我慢”（gaman）文化，在日語中是“忍耐”的意思（類似于，我忍）。這種普遍情緒是日本許多問題的根源，例如人們要應(yīng)對長時間加班。這也可以解釋為什么人們傾向于維持婚姻，即使伴侶出軌或婚姻無性。

Married couples tend to stay married even in these situations to not disturb the peace and to keep the family unit together. This can be practical, though, as the laws do not yet permit joint custody of children for divorced couples.

即使在這種情況下，已婚夫婦也傾向于保持婚姻關(guān)系，以避免擾亂治安，保持家庭凝聚力。不過，這也很實(shí)際，因?yàn)榉刹辉试S離婚夫婦共同監(jiān)護(hù)子女。

Another attitude stemming from gaman culture is the idea that things are shoganai—a prent phrase in Japanese: “It can’t be helped.”

源于“我慢”文化的另一種態(tài)度是“事已至此”，日語中流行的一句話：“沒辦法”。

Although not always, Japanese people are generally uncomfortable sharing true emotions and with intimacy and confrontation. Such moments may disturb the peace. Thus, many believe it is inevitable and can’t be helped if their marriage becomes sexless or if their partner cheats.

盡管并非總是如此，但日本人一般不喜歡分享真實(shí)情感，也不喜歡親密接觸和對抗。因?yàn)檫@樣可能會擾亂平靜的生活。因此，許多人認(rèn)為，如果他們的婚姻變得無性或伴侶出軌，這是不可避免的，也是沒有辦法的。

Conclusion

結(jié)論



插圖：在任何地方，良好的溝通都是健康關(guān)系的關(guān)鍵。

There’s little data evidence to suggest cheating is more prent in Japan than in other countries. Attitudes toward the uwaki variety of cheating may be different. Still, Japanese beliefs about extramarital affairs are comparable to many other countries. The major differences lie in what is difficult to measure. Namely, the history and culture surrounding relationships, marriage and communication in general.

幾乎沒有數(shù)據(jù)證據(jù)表明日本的出軌現(xiàn)象比其他國家更為普遍。對于“浮気”類型出軌行為的態(tài)度可能有所不同。不過，日本人對婚外情的看法與許多其他國家不相上下。主要差異在于難以衡量的方面。也就是說，圍繞戀愛、婚姻和日常交流的歷史和文化。

Time and time again, studies show that communication is the key to maintaining healthy relationships. And Japan is certainly not the only country where people tend to have communication issues in their relationships.

研究一再表明，溝通是維持健康關(guān)系的關(guān)鍵。日本肯定不是唯一一個在人際關(guān)系中容易出現(xiàn)溝通問題的國家。

Perhaps relationships in Japan would be more peaceful if more emphasis was put on honest and effective communication. As in what one wants and expects in a relationship and when there is dissatisfaction. Then, perhaps many would feel more peace in their relationships than when arbitrarily “keeping the peace.”

如果能更加重視誠實(shí)有效的溝通，也許日本的人際關(guān)系會更加和諧。比如，在人際關(guān)系中，一個人應(yīng)表達(dá)想要什么、期望什么，以及什么時候會有不滿。這樣，也許很多人的人際關(guān)系會比故意“維持平和”時更平和。