老外提問：中國的年輕人會因為父母指望他們在經(jīng)濟上提供支持而感到怨恨或不滿嗎?

Do young Chinese feel resentful that they are expected to support their parents financially?

2024-05-11 國外新鮮事 8456 34 11 收藏糾錯&舉報

譯文簡介

網(wǎng)友：孝順是中國文化的傳統(tǒng)美德，不過也要看具體家庭情況。

正文翻譯

Do young Chinese feel resentful that they are expected to support their parents financially?

中國的年輕人是否會因為父母指望他們在經(jīng)濟上提供支持而感到不滿？

評論翻譯

@Paul Li
No.
They saw me in, raised me, it's my job to see them out and make it as comfortable as possible for them. I would take a bullet for them if necessary, they would do the same.

不會。
他們看著我出生，把我養(yǎng)大，我的工作就是看著他們離開，讓他們盡可能過得舒服。如果有必要，我會為他們擋子彈，他們也會為我這樣做。
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Dongfang Gao
In China, it is an obligation to support parents.
The premise is that your parents provide you with corresponding education and help.

在中國，贍養(yǎng)父母是一種義務(wù)。
前提是你的父母給你提供相應(yīng)的教育和幫助。
@Josephine Stefani (陳圻)

To be absolutely honest, I used to.
Now I don’t anymore.
My parents have always bemoaned how “white” I am. It’s true that in my family, I am probably the greatest embodiment of someone who understands and embraces both Western and Eastern upbringing.
I used to find it such a pain to have to support my parents financially when I start working – I mean, it’s my money! Why do they deserve a cut of it?

說實話，我以前是有點不樂意。
現(xiàn)在我不這樣想了。
我的父母總是哀嘆我受白人影響太大了。的確，在我的家庭中，我可能是最能理解并接受西方和東方教育的人。
我曾經(jīng)發(fā)現(xiàn)，當(dāng)我開始工作時，必須在經(jīng)濟上支持我的父母是一件非常痛苦的事情——我的意思是，這是我的錢！為什么他們應(yīng)該分一杯羹?

However, as I grew up, I considered a few things.
Because of my parents, I have absolutely zero student debt and I am able to navigate adulthood on a clean financial slate … at the expense of my Chinese New Year funds and (quite possibly) a huge chunk of their retirement funds.
Because of my parents, I don’t have to worry about paying gobsmacking London rent prices, because I’m technically still living at home.

然而，隨著我的成長，我考慮了很多事情。
因為我的父母，我完全沒有學(xué)生貸款，我能夠在一個干凈的財務(wù)清單上度過成年期，代價是我春節(jié)收的紅包和(很可能)他們的一大筆退休金。
因為我的父母，我不用擔(dān)心支付倫敦令人瞠目結(jié)舌的租金，嚴(yán)格來說，我現(xiàn)在還住在家里。

Because of my parents, I have had a loving (though not perfect), safe, comfortable childhood and an easy transition to adulthood.
Because of my parents, I have been clothed and fed for 22 years without complaint, and I know that if something ever happens to me in the future that would cause me to lose everything I’ve ever had, I will always have a home to crawl back to, tail between my legs, and all my mother would do is clean out my bedroom, make me my favourite dishes for dinner, wash my clothes and take care of me like she always did, and never ask me to move out because I’m ‘old enough’ to live on my own.

因為我的父母，我有一個充滿愛(雖然不完美)、安全、舒適的童年，也很容易過渡到成年。
因為我的父母，我22年來衣食無憂，沒受過什么委屈，我知道如果將來發(fā)生什么意外，讓我失去我曾經(jīng)擁有的一切，永遠(yuǎn)有一個家可以讓我夾著尾巴爬回去，我媽媽所做的就是清理我的臥室，給我做我最喜歡的晚餐，洗我的衣服，照顧我，就像她一直做的那樣，不會讓我搬出去住，盡管我已經(jīng)“足夠大”了，可以自己住了。
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I owe my parents far more than what I am able to give with my own two hands.
I will not be able to repay them even if I lived a thousand lifetimes.
So when they grow old, I’m going to make sure they want for nothing. It’s the least I could do, for they’ve given me far more than I deserve.

我欠父母的遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)超過了我所能給予他們的。
我就是活一千輩子也報答不了他們。
所以當(dāng)他們老了，我要確保他們什么都不缺。這是我最起碼能做的，因為他們給了我遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)超過我應(yīng)得的。

@Michael Zheng
Took the words right out of my mouth! The only difference is that from a young age I was told to take care of my parents and I accepted that responsibility with pride. I always know I will take care of my parents, and they will do the same for me.
They have done so much for me already. Now, it’s my turn.

我正要說呢！唯一不同的是，從很小的時候，我就被告知要照顧我的父母，我自豪地接受了這一責(zé)任。我知道我會照顧我的父母，他們也會為我做同樣的事情。
他們已經(jīng)為我做了這么多，現(xiàn)在輪到我了。

@Assistant
The expectation that children, including young Chinese adults, will support their parents financially is deeply ingrained in Chinese culture and tradition. In Confucian philosophy, filial piety is considered a fundamental virtue, emphasizing respect, obedience, and care for one's parents and elders. This cultural value has historically shaped the expectations around family relationships in China.

在中國文化和傳統(tǒng)中，期望孩子們，包括年輕的中國成年人在經(jīng)濟上支持他們父母的觀念是根深蒂固的。在儒家哲學(xué)中，孝道被認(rèn)為是一種基本的美德，強調(diào)尊重、服從和關(guān)心父母和長輩。這種文化價值在歷史上塑造了中國對家庭關(guān)系的期望。

While there may be variations in individual attitudes and experiences, many young Chinese people may not necessarily feel resentful about providing financial support to their parents. Instead, they may view it as a natural and expected responsibility that comes with being part of a family and as a way to repay the care and sacrifices their parents made in raising them.

雖然個人的態(tài)度和經(jīng)歷可能有所不同，但許多中國年輕人不一定會對給父母提供經(jīng)濟支持感到不滿。相反，他們可能認(rèn)為這是一種自然和預(yù)期的責(zé)任，作為家庭的一員，是回報父母在撫養(yǎng)他們時所做的照顧和犧牲的一種方式。

However, it's important to recognize that societal changes, such as urbanization, economic shifts, and changing family structures, have also influenced attitudes toward filial obligations in China. As younger generations face different economic challenges and lifestyle expectations compared to their parents' generation, there may be some individuals who feel burdened by the financial expectations placed upon them.

然而，重要的是要認(rèn)識到社會的變化，如城市化、經(jīng)濟轉(zhuǎn)型和家庭結(jié)構(gòu)的變化，也影響了中國人對孝道的態(tài)度。由于年輕一代面臨著與父輩不同的經(jīng)濟挑戰(zhàn)和生活方式期望，可能會有一些人對他們的經(jīng)濟期望感到沉重、有壓力。

Overall, attitudes toward supporting parents financially can vary among individuals, influenced by factors such as personal values, financial circumstances, family dynamics, and cultural beliefs. It's essential to approach this topic with sensitivity and recognize the complex interplay of cultural norms and individual experiences in shaping attitudes toward filial responsibilities in China.

總的來說，在經(jīng)濟上支持父母的態(tài)度可能因個人而異，受個人價值觀、經(jīng)濟狀況、家庭動態(tài)和文化信仰等因素的影響。我們必須慎重地對待這個問題，并認(rèn)識到文化規(guī)范和個人經(jīng)歷在塑造中國人對孝道責(zé)任態(tài)度方面上的復(fù)雜影響。
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@Steve Wang
As the son of Taiwanese parents who was raised almost entirely in America this is a very difficult aspect of my relationship with my parents. After I graduated from college in the Northeast, my parents, after spending 20 years in America packed up their bags and moved back to Taiwan. I am now 39 and have lived in the States for 35 years or so. My parents are in their late 70s and live in Taiwan. One might expect the physical separation to diminish the obligations of filial piety, but you’d be surprised. My parents are financially fairly well off yet whenever we get into an argument they will criticize me quite harshly for not giving them money (I do give them an annual red envelope but they point to friends of theirs who receive a percentage of their children’s paycheck).

作為一個幾乎完全在美國長大的臺灣人的兒子，這是我在處理與父母關(guān)系的一個難題。我從東北大學(xué)畢業(yè)后，在美國生活了20年的父母收拾行囊搬回了臺灣。我現(xiàn)在39歲，在美國生活了35年左右。我父母都快70歲了，住在臺灣。有人可能會認(rèn)為地理上的分離會減少孝道的義務(wù)，接下來的事會讓你感到驚訝的。我的父母在經(jīng)濟上相當(dāng)富裕，但每當(dāng)我們發(fā)生爭執(zhí)時，他們都會嚴(yán)厲地批評我不給他們錢(我每年都會給他們發(fā)紅包，但他們會指出他們的朋友會收到他們孩子薪水的一部分)。

I am financially comfortable as well and can certainly afford to give them more, but my personal value-system simply tells me this is unnecessary because my parents clearly have no need for extra money. Yet I get excoriated at times for this, which is quite painful emotionally. I recently took an extended career break and when I visited Taiwan my father actively avoided telling relatives that I was in town because of the “shame” he would face from having a 39yo son who was unemployed. When I said he could simply tell them I chose to take time off after 15 years of a fairly lucrative career, he said “no, relatives and friends won’t believe that and will assume that I was laid off which is shameful”.

我在經(jīng)濟上也很寬裕，當(dāng)然可以給他們更多的錢，但是就我的個人價值觀來看這是不必要的，因為我的父母顯然不需要額外的錢。然而，我有時會因此受到指責(zé)，這在情感上是相當(dāng)痛苦的。我最近休了一段長假，當(dāng)我去臺灣的時候，我父親會刻意地避免告訴親戚我在城里，因為他39歲的兒子沒有工作，這件事會讓他感到“羞恥”。當(dāng)我說，他可以簡單地告訴他們，我在做了15年相當(dāng)賺錢的工作后選擇休假時，他說:“不，親戚和朋友不會相信，他們會認(rèn)為我被解雇了，這是很丟臉的?！?/b>
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I love my parents but the values that govern their behavior, especially their behavior towards me, is often a greater source of pain than comfort. I have often debated whether it is time to effectively distance myself from them (i.e., stop trying to please them because it’s become very clear that the things that would please them actually make me unhappy).

我愛我的父母，但是支配著他們行為的價值觀，尤其是他們對我的行為，往往是痛苦而不是安慰的來源。我經(jīng)常糾結(jié)是否該有效地與他們保持距離(例如，停止試圖取悅他們，因為很明顯，取悅他們的事情實際上會讓我不開心)。

@Sarah Zhang
It depends how it is handled.
In some families, the parents provide everything for the children to grow up to be happy and successful adults, They truly view the children as free individuals, and never ask for returns. Their only wish is for the children to live a good life. The children, grow up in such loving households, also must have witnessed how their parents pay filial piety to the grandparents, care for the family elders, will willingly take this responsibility, not just financially support the aging parents, also love and care for them.

具體情況具體分析。
在一些家庭中，父母為孩子提供一切，讓他們成長為快樂和成功的成年人，他們真正把孩子視為自由的個體，從不要求回報。他們唯一的愿望就是讓孩子們過上好日子。在這樣充滿愛的家庭中長大的孩子，也一定目睹過父母如何孝敬祖父母，照顧家里的長輩，也會心甘情愿地承擔(dān)起這份責(zé)任，不僅在經(jīng)濟上贍養(yǎng)年邁的父母，還對他們充滿愛和照顧。

In some other families, the parents sometimes view the children as investments. Worse, some of them will favor some of the children and treat some simply as banks. They will ask for money not just for themselves, but also for the less financially capable ones. This is where the resentment might come in. These parents use the filial piety tradition just to satisfy their greed. Ironically, children who get treated unfairly sometimes develop the Stockholm Syndrome. They find it painful to get taken advantage of from by the people closest to them, but they couldn’t fight back.
That is SAD.

在其他一些家庭中，父母有時會把孩子視為投資。更糟糕的是，他們中的一些人會偏袒一些孩子，把另一些孩子當(dāng)作銀行。他們不僅會為自己要錢，也會為經(jīng)濟能力較弱的孩子要錢。這就是怨恨可能產(chǎn)生的原因。這些父母用孝順傳統(tǒng)來滿足他們的貪婪。具有諷刺意味的是，受到不公平對待的孩子有時會患上斯德哥爾摩綜合癥。他們覺得被最親近的人利用很痛苦，但他們無法反擊。
這很悲哀。

@Anonymous
Yes.
My mother became a gambling addict after my father died.
She complains all the time about everything endlessly.
She lies, borrows money and expects me to pick up her gambling debts.

我會不高興。
我父親死后，我母親成了一個賭鬼。
她總是沒完沒了地抱怨每件事。
她撒謊，借錢，還指望我?guī)退€賭債。

I sold my apartment to pay for her biggest loss and she promised me she would quit, she lied.
Clearly she has some mental health problems. But she is unwilling to get treatment.
I told her brother about the problem and he took her to the casino instead.

我賣了我的公寓來替她償還大額的賭債，她答應(yīng)我她會戒掉，她撒謊了。
很明顯她有心理健康問題，但她不愿接受治療。
我把這個問題告訴了我舅舅，他卻帶她去了賭場。

Another relative i confided in also introduced her to more gambling machines.
We don't know what to do with her.
I'm tempted to take her back to the old country and abandon her there.
I put up with her madness for over twenty years. I'm sick of it.

另一個我信任的親戚也向她介紹了更多的賭博機。
我們不知道該拿她怎么辦。
我很想帶她回故鄉(xiāng)，把她丟在那里。
我容忍她的瘋狂已經(jīng)20多年了。我受夠了。

@Grace Tan
I’m Singaporean Chinese, but I’m sort of supporting my parents now, so I guess I can answer. I will only answer for myself, as others have different upbringings and different perceptions of their parents.

我是新加坡華人，但我目前正在贍養(yǎng)我的父母，所以我想我可以回答。我只表達(dá)我自己的觀點，因為其他人有不同的成長經(jīng)歷，對父母的看法也不同。

My parents were in their late thirties and early forties when I was born. Because of their age and our family background, I became their only child. One gave up her blossoming career to stay home and look after me. One slogged his guts out, paid his all and more to put me through school and into my own career.

我出生的時候，我的父母都快四十歲了。因為他們的年齡和我們的家庭背景，我成了他們唯一的孩子。母親放棄了蓬勃發(fā)展的事業(yè)，留在家里照顧我。父親拼命工作，花光了他全部甚至更多的錢供我完成學(xué)業(yè)、幫我實現(xiàn)自己的事業(yè)。

Both of them are now old. They suffer from health issues. My dad continued working even after I started work. However, he suffered a pulmonary embolism earlier last year and has stopped work to recuperate. The work he can do in his age is limited. That illness and possible complications does the rest.

他們倆現(xiàn)在都老了。他們有健康問題。我爸爸在我開始工作后還繼續(xù)工作。然而，去年早些時候，他患上了肺栓塞，已經(jīng)停止工作休養(yǎng)。他這個年紀(jì)能做的工作是有限的。剩下的就是疾病和可能的并發(fā)癥了。

To be honest, I’m not resentful. Never did. They gave me all their love and did their best, gave their all. They exceeded what they could have done as parents.

說實話，我沒有任何不滿。從來沒有。他們給了我所有的愛，盡了最大的努力，付出了全部。他們超越了他們作為父母所能做的。

But as their only child, I’m worried. Do I earn enough to give them at least a life of contentment, if not comfort? Am I doing my best to take care of them? And, (heaven forbid!) what will happen if for some reason, I am unable to take care of them in the future? I sometimes look at reports of parents outliving their children and wonder if such a thing will happen.
Hopefully, it will never happen.

但作為他們唯一的孩子，我很擔(dān)心。我的收入是否足以讓他們至少過上心滿意足的生活？我有沒有盡力照顧他們？而且，(但愿不會)如果將來由于某種原因，我不能照顧他們怎么辦？我有時會看到一些父母比孩子長壽的報道，不知道這樣的事情是否會發(fā)生。
希望這永遠(yuǎn)不會發(fā)生。

@Alaska Rue
Well, I do.
I can’t speak for all young Chinese, but I personally do not really enjoy supporting my family. Perhaps it would be different if I could just send home a set amount, something like 10% of my salary or less, and let that be the extent of my responsibility to my family. But, as my father passed away when I was 13, and my mom is busy raising my other three siblings, one of whom is autistic, the role of the breadwinner has since fallen on me. I basically pay for all of my family’s expenses - rent, bills, food, mortgage payments, tuition, etc.

我會不高興。
我不能代表所有的中國年輕人，但我個人并不喜歡養(yǎng)家糊口。如果我能給家里寄一筆固定的錢，比如工資的10%或更少，作為我的一部分家庭責(zé)任，也許情況會有所不同。但是，由于父親在我13歲時去世，母親忙于撫養(yǎng)我的其他三個兄弟姐妹，其中一個患有自閉癥，養(yǎng)家糊口的角色就落在了我身上。我基本上支付了家里所有的開支——房租、賬單、食物、抵押貸款、學(xué)費等等——這些花費了我大部分的工資。

- which consumes a heavy bulk of my salary, and on top of that, I’ve since moved home after living independently for six years abroad to help out with family. It feels like the rest of my twenties are going to be devoured by responsibilities I don’t want to have on my shoulders, and I wish I could just have my life all to myself, with no one depending on me… I feel like a mother, but I don’t have my own children.

最重要的是，在國外獨立生活了六年之后，我還得搬回家?guī)椭胰?。感覺我之后的20多年時間也將被我不想承擔(dān)的責(zé)任所吞噬，我希望我能完全擁有自己的生活，沒有人依賴我……現(xiàn)在的我覺得自己像個母親，但我沒有自己的孩子。

So, yeah, I feel resentful about having to support my family financially. It’s not really anyone’s fault, but I wish I could be irresponsible and live my own life - but filial piety has been so ingrained in me that I would feel too guilty to completely abandon my family.
What’s a girl to do then, but stay trapped in the cycle…

所以，是的，我對不得不在經(jīng)濟上支持我的家庭感到不滿。這真的不是任何人的錯，但我希望我可以不負(fù)責(zé)任，過我自己的生活——但孝道在我心中根深蒂固，我不能完全拋棄我的家庭，那會讓我感到太過于內(nèi)疚。
一個女孩還能做什么呢?

@Yunfan Zhang
First of all, I am sorry that some people growing up in not so usual families and therefore have a unhappy view towards filial piety.

首先，我很抱歉，有些人在不太尋常的家庭中長大，因此對孝道有不愉快的看法。

Filial piety stuff is not that complicated in my mind. It is just when you are kind and great other people on the street. You also "expect"/"wish other people can be a kind responser. You say "hi" to the other not because you simply wants to get a "hi" back, that is pointless. You say "hi" because a kind greating can make everyone happy, can make the world nicer.

孝順的事情在我看來并沒有那么復(fù)雜。它就像你在街上善良的向其他人問候。你也“期望”/“希望別人能友好地回應(yīng)。”你對另一個人說“嗨”，不是因為你想得到別人的一個“嗨”那是毫無意義的。你說“嗨”，是因為這種問候可以使每個人都快樂，可以使世界更美好。
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If you think upbringing is a pay back game, how can you explain that many parents give up their lives to save their children in critical situations? What kind of pay back they can have if they are going to die for their children?

如果你認(rèn)為教育是一種回報游戲，那么你如何解釋為什么許多父母在危急情況下放棄自己的生命來拯救他們的孩子？如果他們?yōu)樽约旱暮⒆佣?，他們能得到什么樣的回報呢?/b>

Also, if parents are selfish person and just want to have promised twilight lives, they will spend half of the money on their personal needs and entertainments, and save the rest half of their money for the retirement. So again, why they are willing to give up their own interests and spend all their money on their children, and count on their children to help them out when they are too old and have no saving? Because they love their children.

此外，如果父母是自私的人，只是想要有承諾的老年生活，他們會花一半的錢在他們的個人需求和娛樂上，并保存剩下的一半的錢做為退休金。那么，為什么他們愿意放棄自己的興趣，把所有的錢都花在孩子身上，指望孩子在他們年紀(jì)太大、沒有積蓄的時候幫助他們呢？因為他們愛他們的孩子。

Paying back might be a result of love, but it is definitely not the original purpose of love. For most normal people who grow up in normal families, they treat their aging parents with love and gratitude, not with the sense of obligation. The same way like parents treat their children with true love, not with the expectation to receive pay back in the future in their mind.

回報可能是愛的結(jié)果，但絕對不是愛的初衷。對于大多數(shù)在正常家庭中長大的正常人來說，他們是用愛和感激來對待年邁的父母的，而不是用義務(wù)感來對待。同樣的方式就像父母用真愛對待他們的孩子，而不是期望在未來得到回報。

@Clifford Nelson
How about asking the following
Do young Americans feel resentful that they are expected to support their parents financially?
No different. Parents get old. Do you resent that you parents or grand parents need help. Asshole Trump is talking about reducing Social Security, which will make it even harder for the old in American to live without extensive assistance.

問下面這個問題怎么樣。
年輕的美國人會因為被要求在經(jīng)濟上贍養(yǎng)父母而感到不滿嗎?
沒有什么不同。父母老了。你是否怨恨你的父母或祖父母需要幫助？混蛋特朗普正在談?wù)摐p少社會保障，這將使美國老年人在沒有廣泛援助的情況下生活更加困難。
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@Jimmy Y. Zhong
Filial piety and the level of commitment to it is largely contingent on the quality of family relations.

孝順和孝順的程度在很大程度上取決于家庭關(guān)系的質(zhì)量。

@Joel Wong
A perspective from Singapore:
Most Chinese parents here provide for their children all the way till they graduate, including paying for their university fees, food, accommodation, and everything else. This may be different from western societies where students may be expected to take a loan or work while studying to get their degrees done
Of course, not every Chinese family is like that, so I only speak for most of the people I know.

來自新加坡的觀點:
這里的大多數(shù)中國父母會為他們的孩子提供一切，直到他們畢業(yè)，包括支付他們的大學(xué)學(xué)費、食物、住宿和其他一切。這可能與西方社會不同，西方社會可能要求學(xué)生在學(xué)習(xí)期間貸款或工作以完成學(xué)位。
當(dāng)然，并不是每個中國家庭都是這樣，所以我只代表我認(rèn)識的大多數(shù)人說話。

@Cong Xuan
Majority of them do not feel resentful, if you are asking about the Chinese in China.
Basically the sense of value is profoundly influenced by both family and the education in school. However, in China, a child's life is filled with ton's of stories about traditional Chinese moral value, either from parents or teacher. Therefore, as one of a traditional Chinese moral value, filial piety is highly praised, which include financial support. Beside, financially support our parents is one of our obligation in China.

如果你問的是在中國的中國人，他們中的大多數(shù)人不會感到怨恨。
基本上，價值觀受到家庭和學(xué)校教育的深刻影響。然而，在中國，孩子的生活中充斥著大量關(guān)于中國傳統(tǒng)道德價值觀的故事，這些故事要么來自父母，要么來自老師。因此，作為中國傳統(tǒng)道德價值之一，孝道受到高度贊揚，其中包括經(jīng)濟支持。此外，經(jīng)濟上支持我們的父母是我們在中國的義務(wù)之一。

Personally, I would be very proud of myself if I have enough money to support my parents. These will be no resentment at all, never for me.
The differences between Chinese society and Western society is that the way we define a family. The most popular example is "when you married a girl, the girl will become your family members." She has the same responsibility of taking care of your parents just like yours.

就我個人而言，如果我有足夠的錢來支持我的父母，我會為自己感到非常自豪。對我來說，永遠(yuǎn)不會有怨恨。
中國社會和西方社會的不同之處在于我們定義家庭的方式。最流行的例子是“當(dāng)你娶了一個女孩，這個女孩將成為你的家庭成員?！彼湍阋粯佑胸?zé)任照顧你的父母。
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@Yulin Liu
No, it works both ways. While a person is deemed as an independent individual once he or she grows up and should not expect his or her parents to support him or her financially in the western world, Chinese parents pay for their children's tertiary education, down payment for their children's first house and sometimes even wedding expenses.

不，這種付出是雙向的。在西方世界，一個人一旦長大就被視為一個獨立的個體，不應(yīng)該指望父母在經(jīng)濟上支持他或她，而在中國，父母為孩子的高等教育買單，為孩子的第一套房子付首付款，有時甚至是婚禮費用。

These practices are deemed acceptable because in Chinese culture, the parent-children relationship does not become less tight just because the child grows up. In the past, the whole extended family may live together to form a clan, and clan members are supposed to help each other in times of needs even if they are just loosely related. In this way, a stable social network that acts like an insurance company is formed. Of course nowadays individualism has prevailed over this old tradition, but it is still quite common for adults to live with their parents.

這些做法被認(rèn)為是可以接受的，因為在中國文化中，親子關(guān)系不會因為孩子長大而變得不那么緊密。在過去，整個大家庭可能住在一起形成一個氏族，氏族成員應(yīng)該在需要的時候互相幫助，即使他們只是松散的關(guān)系。這樣，就形成了一個像保險公司一樣的穩(wěn)定的社會網(wǎng)絡(luò)。當(dāng)然，現(xiàn)在個人主義已經(jīng)壓倒了這個古老的傳統(tǒng)，但是成年人和父母住在一起仍然很普遍。

@Li Zhang
Not At All.
To understand this question, you have to understand that in East Asia, the supports between family members are very strong. It is a privilege to be able to take good care of your family in many ways.

絕對不會。
要理解這個問題，你必須明白，在東亞，家庭成員之間的支持是非常強大的。能夠在很多方面照顧好你的家庭是一種榮耀。

Growing up, most Chinese parents will offer unconditional supports and love to the children. I’ve heard a story from a friend, that her friend (from the US) was admitted to Yale, but because her family refuses to pay her expensive tuition, she had to give up on Yale and take an offer from a state university. I was very shocked hearing it, because if a similar story happens in China, the parents would risk to sell their house to pay for the tuition to support the kid. Yes, it is that unconditional. At the same time, most of the parents usually set good example taking care of their elder family members, both financially and emotionally, caring them in every details in daily life.

在孩子的成長過程中，大多數(shù)中國父母會給予孩子無條件的支持和愛。我從一個朋友那里聽過一個故事，她的朋友(來自美國)被耶魯大學(xué)錄取了，但因為她的家人拒絕支付她昂貴的學(xué)費，她不得不放棄耶魯，接受了一所州立大學(xué)的錄取。聽到這個消息我非常震驚，因為如果類似的故事發(fā)生在中國，父母會冒著賣掉房子的風(fēng)險來支付學(xué)費來撫養(yǎng)孩子。是的，這是無條件的。與此同時，大多數(shù)父母通常樹立良好的榜樣，照顧他們的長輩，在經(jīng)濟上和情感上，照顧他們在日常生活的每一個細(xì)節(jié)。

Personally I’ve being working and financially independent for quite a few years, but every time I am visiting home, my parents will fill my luggage with all kinds of fancy gifts, just like what they used to do when I was a kid.
If you are growing up in this type of East Asia culture of family relationships, you wouldn’t be surprised. You will be very proud to offer your supports after you grow up. It’s not paying back their investments. They never see it as investments. It’s just love. You’d do whatever for the people you love. Right?

就我個人而言，我已經(jīng)工作和經(jīng)濟獨立好幾年了，但每次我回家，我父母都會把各種各樣的精美禮物裝滿我的行李，就像我小時候他們經(jīng)常做的那樣。
如果你是在這種東亞家庭關(guān)系文化中長大的，你不會感到驚訝。當(dāng)你長大后，你會很自豪地提供你的支持。這不是回報他們的投資。他們從不認(rèn)為這是投資。這就是愛。你會為你愛的人做任何事。對吧?

@Tommy Lim Jr.
Barring issues like severely strained relations, those in my generation at least would gladly take care of our parents (and even aunts and uncles if need be) if they are already unable to take care of themselves well.

除了關(guān)系嚴(yán)重緊張這類情況，至少我們這一代人會很樂意照顧我們的父母(如果需要的話，甚至?xí)疹櫴迨灏⒁?，如果他們已經(jīng)不能很好地照顧自己。

Ideally it’s leading by example, my parents, aunts, and uncles all took care of my grandparents. They, including my grandparents, took care of me. So why not share the love back when one is capable already?
So why resent?

理想情況下，孝順是以身作則，我的父母、阿姨和叔叔都照顧我的祖父母。他們、包括我的祖父母也都很照顧我。所以，當(dāng)一個人已經(jīng)有能力的時候，為什么不把愛分享回來呢?
為什么要怨恨呢?

@Anonymous
Aside from western culture influence, it may also depend on how your relationship with your parents is. I guess if you come from a family that is more or less happy, or functional, you wouldn't feel like it's any kind of trouble to "serve" your parents, it just feels like "that's just how it's suppose to be isn't it?".

除了受西方文化的影響，這也可能取決于你與父母的關(guān)系。我想，如果你來自一個或多或少幸福美滿的家庭，你不會覺得“伺候”你的父母有什么麻煩，只會覺得“這就是應(yīng)該的，不是嗎?”

Filial piety is about respecting the elders and especially your parent, but sometimes parents may blur the line between being respected and a green light to being authoritarian. This allows them to "exploit" this cultural value as a kind of entitlement to justify their sense of righteousness, however wrong it may be, making them impervious to reform.

孝順就是要尊重長輩，尤其是你的父母，但有時父母可能會模糊尊重和發(fā)號施令之間的界限。這使得他們可以“利用”這種文化價值，將其作為一種權(quán)利來證明他們的正當(dāng)性，哪怕這種正當(dāng)性是錯誤的，以至于他們對改正無動于衷。

When this happens you can imagine how easy it is for the child to feel resentful towards the expectation of filial piety. Even if the parents do not need any financial support, there's many other ways that a child may feel resentful towards the expectation of filial piety. The duty of filial piety comes in various forms but the general idea is, you serving your parents as a form of gratitude for bringing you up.

當(dāng)這種情況發(fā)生時，你可以想象孩子是多么容易對孝道的期望感到不滿。即使父母不需要任何經(jīng)濟支持，也有很多其他的方式讓孩子對孝順的期望感到不滿。孝順的責(zé)任有各種各樣的形式，但一般的想法是，你為父母服務(wù)是對他們撫養(yǎng)你的一種感激。
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@Eve
As a girl raised in a Chinese family,I never feel resentful about supporting my parents' family.On the contrary,I feel very happy buying gifts for my parents with my own money.
Its universal in China.Different from that of a western family,the bond between the members of a Chinese family is much tighter.

作為一個在中國家庭長大的女孩，我從來沒有因為贍養(yǎng)父母而感到怨恨。相反，我覺得很高興用自己的錢給父母買禮物。
這在中國很普遍。與西方家庭不同，中國家庭成員之間的關(guān)系要緊密得多。

Filial duty is the core of Chinese culture.Everyone is deeply impacted by it,so much that nobody ever doubt it.Children who refuse to raise their parents would be burdened with negtive consensus.Kids are taught to be filial..I suggest you reading Twenty -four Filial Stories,which had been in the children's textbooks for hundreds of years.

孝道是中華文化的核心。每個人都深受它的影響，以至于沒有人懷疑它。拒絕撫養(yǎng)父母的孩子將承受負(fù)面言論的負(fù)擔(dān)。孩子們被教導(dǎo)要孝順……我建議你閱讀二十四孝的故事，它已經(jīng)在兒童教科書中存在了幾百年。

@StanleY LEE
I don’t think you can generalise the whole population here, after all, Chinese is a very big cultural group and there will always be variations.

我不認(rèn)為你可以一概而論，畢竟，中國人是一個非常大的文化群體，總是會有例外。

For someone like me, who are in his 30s, I was lucky that my parents never really rely on me to support them financially. However, if the time comes that I need to support them, I would not hesitate to do so and will do it wholeheartedly. This is despite the fact that my parents had always taught me to be self reliance and don’t count on people’s help.

對于像我這樣30多歲的人來說，我很幸運，我的父母從來沒有真正依賴我來支持他們的經(jīng)濟。但是，如果需要我支持他們，我會毫不猶豫地這樣做，并將全心全意地去做。盡管我的父母一直教導(dǎo)我要自力更生，不要指望別人的幫助。

I had always appreciate the effort they made to ensure our family is well provided when we were young, even though we were not rich ourselves. They also reinforce the need for education while at the same time, they encourage my sister and I to be independent thinkers and be pragmatic. They had saved and work hard to make sure we both receive the best education that we are willing to engage in, even that mean working 16–20 hours a day for years and years on end. As a result of this (plus our own willingness to work towards our goals, and a bit of luck as well), both my sister and I are grateful to have achieved what we have today.

我一直很感激父母在我們小的時候所做的努力，盡管我們家并不富裕。他們鼓勵我和妹妹有自己獨立的思想家、做一個務(wù)實的人。同時他們也加強了在教育的投入，他們攢錢，努力工作，以確保我們都能接受我們所能夠接受到的最好的教育，即使這意味著他們要每天工作16-20個小時，年復(fù)一年。因此(再加上我們自己朝著目標(biāo)努力的意愿，再加上一點運氣)對于我們今天所取得的成就，我和妹妹都很感激。

So to us, it is only natural that we treat them with respect and support them when they needed. But we won’t go out of way to intrude on their lives either. Although they are not in the position that they will need our help financially, but we still find ways to support them, such as spending time to speak to time even if we are busy, consult them when difficult issues arises etc.

所以對我們來說，尊重他們，在他們需要的時候支持他們是自然而然的。但我們也不會打擾他們的生活。雖然他們在經(jīng)濟上不需要我們的幫助，但我們?nèi)匀粫业椒椒▉碇С炙麄?，比如即使我們很忙，也會花時間和他們說話，當(dāng)遇到困難的問題時咨詢他們等等。
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@Xu Lucy
I don’t think so. For those who are aware their western counterparts don’t have the same level of responsibilities they are also aware western parents don’t support their children the way Chinese parents do. College tuition fees, house down payments and babysitting are not (and should not be) really free.

我不這么想。對于那些意識到他們的西方同行沒有同樣程度的責(zé)任的人來說，他們也意識到西方父母不像中國父母那樣支持他們的孩子。大學(xué)學(xué)費、首付和保姆都不是(也不應(yīng)該是)免費的。

@Yohanes Sujaya
I never heard anyone resented this. You see our parents unlike in the west often support us until we are really capable enough financially. Sometime they will support our finance when we still working as fresh graduate. Sometime they will support our wedding cost.

我從來沒聽說過有人對此表示不滿。你看我們的父母不像西方的父母經(jīng)常支持我們，直到我們真正有足夠的經(jīng)濟能力。有時他們會在我們剛畢業(yè)的時候支持我們的經(jīng)濟。有時他們會支付我們的婚禮費用。

When we have child, they will also help to raise our child, for example if the child is sick they will take care of the child while we go to work. It is sound funny, but we also do the same to our kids.
Also adults usually live with their parents, until they are married. The reason is mainly to save money.

當(dāng)我們有了孩子，他們也會幫助撫養(yǎng)我們的孩子，例如，如果孩子生病了，他們會在我們?nèi)ド习嗟臅r候照顧孩子。這聽起來很有趣，但我們對孩子也是這么做的。
成年人通常和父母住在一起，直到他們結(jié)婚。原因主要是為了省錢。

@Kayla Wang
I never feel resentful about supporting our parents financially. Instead I am very happy that I am able to support my parents.
My parents talked to me about their lives in old age. They said they don’t raise children to support them. And they have saved enough money to go to the bead-house without potential worries.

我從不為在經(jīng)濟上支持父母而感到怨恨。相反，我很高興我能夠支持我的父母。
我父母給我講了他們晚年的生活。他們說他們養(yǎng)孩子不是為了養(yǎng)他們。而且他們已經(jīng)存了足夠的錢去醫(yī)院，不用擔(dān)心。

They think for our generation, one couple needs to support 4 old people and 1–2 kids ; they don’t want me to take too much pressure.
I love my parents so much and I really want to take care of them when they are old.

他們認(rèn)為，對于我們這一代人來說，一對夫婦需要撫養(yǎng)4個老人和1-2個孩子，他們不想讓我承受太大的壓力。
我很愛我的父母，我真的很想在他們老了的時候照顧他們。

@Chris Dai
Born and lived in China for 27 years, been abroad several times, prefer China5y
Most parents will support their children both financially and personally. For me, my parents and parents-in-law offered USD 100,000 when we were to buy a flat and do decoration for it. Now, my mother-in-law will stay with us and cook meals for us since my wife is pregnant. When the kid comes, my mother will also come to help. That is what happens to most of young family in China, parents will devote their money and time to their children without asking for anything in return.
Very few parents will ask their children to support them financially.

在中國出生和生活了27年，出國過幾次，更喜歡中國了。
大多數(shù)父母會在經(jīng)濟上和個人上支持他們的孩子。對于我來說，我的父母和岳父岳母在我們買房和裝修的時候提供了10萬美元?，F(xiàn)在，我的岳母會和我們住在一起，因為我妻子懷孕了。當(dāng)孩子來的時候，我媽媽也會來幫忙。這就是發(fā)生在中國大多數(shù)年輕家庭的事情，父母將他們的金錢和時間投入到他們的孩子身上，而不要求任何回報。
很少有父母會要求他們的孩子在經(jīng)濟上支持他們。

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Chinese young people will be happy to support their parents, because they can give their parents some return for their upbringing, which can be a part of Confucian culture.

中國的年輕人會很樂意贍養(yǎng)父母，因為他們可以回報父母的教養(yǎng)，這可能是儒家文化的一部分。

中國 年輕人 父母 經(jīng)濟

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